Moonlight Sonata

...actually more like moonlight theme and variations.
Definition:
a musical motive: a recurrent figure that is developed through the course of a musical composition.
The Great Composer's passing tones in my life have been showing themselves to be more a motive. Now, they are taking shape enough to warrant being described as a full-fledged theme. Variations are already making themselves evident. What is this contradictory little counter-melody set in the middle of this larger work, a work fraught with activity?
Wait...do nothing...be the audience.
So strange, because this Composer has spent months orchestrating a dramatic prelude, a display that sets me in place to fulfill an active calling. He saw to it that this larger musical work was carefully notated, and not just randomly created through the improvisations of the players, (for they had little awareness they were making music at all.) It is all by His design, inspired by the internal "ear" of the Composer Himself. And who can hear what is in His head?
So for the most recent variations that give verification to this new theme?

Variation #1: My husband dreams...he takes me to a resort the exterior of which is surrounded by many pools, each with a broken cherub-fountain gracing it. He repairs these fountains, while I simply sit and dine at a cabana. He sets them flowing again, except the one nearest the cabana for it works even when it is not upright, and after all, it is tipped to fill his glass. What this means for him, I do not know, but what it means for me is...sit and dine while another works.

Variation #2: My son dreams...he and his father repair equipment at a playground. Where was I? "You don't get to come there yet, Mommy. But Daddy and I have so much fun."

Variation #3: Interactions with a friend...in which God asked me to serve as the bread of His presence for this friend. But now He tells me it is time for this friend to discover that the bread of a friend is not sufficient...touching God deeply must ultimately be done by each alone.

Variation #4: A photo...of these three: the husband, the son, the friend. A photo that God burned into my memory as I went photo-surfing with the kids last fall...God said, "Remember this one...it will matter." Indeed it does, for these three variations are the three in the photo. Standing close, embracing the child, embracing each other: they are the epitome of what is best in brotherhood across the ages...and although it was my hands that produced this particular picture, I am not the subject matter.

Variation #5: A girl...with Down's Syndrome. She is a young woman not quite understanding her degree of impact (a girl who is also me on a different scale.) She becomes hysterical at a basketball game because the team she went to watch compete in the state finals in basketball takes second (as compared to first) place. When one of her mentors asks why she is so upset, she says the loss in this championship game is her fault. When asked how that can be, since she wasn't one of the players, she claims it is because she wasn't "there for them" enough. Although crowd support enhances performance, the players are after all the ones who ultimately win or lose the game. She didn't understand this concept. I'm beginning to.

Coda: A couple of days ago, I wrote a little poem, a soliloquy given by the personified moon. Looking back at it now, I am surprised, yet again, at how much I can teach myself, if I will only listen to what I have to say. For I am also her, I see. Bella luna. She sang wisely and joyfully about the time when the sun would rise. Are You saying that the horizon even now is growing light? Teach me to be a moon in the day light. For so long, You have allowed me to be a brightness standing relatively alone. Each of us, a brightness alone. But what is this sun? I need to know, for unlike Beethoven, I make this my sonata: A moon who, though not particularly romantic, still loves enough to make room. Will I disappear? Will I still share the sky with that sun, only to be happily, receptively, femininely less vibrant in the things that require strong and burning light? A "children's moon" they call it whenever it sits in a day-lit sky. Fitting name.

Recapitulation of the original theme: Even now, however, You do not let me forget that I may again be called into activity. Was it You who inspired me to use "the musical motive" as a blog organizer here? After all, another definition for motive: something (as a need or a desire) that cause a person to act. To act? What happened to "be the audience?" A whispered reminder that the score continues, counter-melodies end, new ones begin, turn the page.

One last request: sharpen my sight-reading skills. I sense a "hairy passage" might follow when I finish counting these measures of rest.