"...to be afraid of oneself is the last horror..." C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce
I am entitled...
...to live unsettled and ever striving;
...to lose myself as a side-kick in other people's story, to show how serious I am about Your demands for servanthood;
...to never be at peace where I am, because there is always a better place where You could take me;
...to live a life praiseworthy, because when others praise me I can say demurely, "Not me, His is the glory." Never seeing that I am covet-beckoning all the more;
...to punish myself before You get to it, because Your punishment might not be severe enough.
I am entitled...
...to have the concept fail.
...to have the convictions falter.
...and then...
I am entitled...
...to find the treasure in the darkness
as the sun sets to a moonless night;
...to cling in the cleft on the cold barren mountain.
But most of all and in the end, I am entitled
...to remember what it is to be the child of a Father
who smiles.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Monday, November 05, 2012
What Do You Call Prayer
I can't define prayer but with a story.
I took a walk today, and as I walked along my favorite trail I passed a man who walked the opposite direction. Bald, in a grey hoodie and wearing sunglasses, he traveled with a walking stick in hand. We smiled and nodded to each other, and I walked on around the circle.
About a mile around the loop, in a broad open place, I came upon him again.
He smiled, "We meet again."
I smiled, "That happens when you walk a circular trail." I took one headphone bud from my ear. The music still played faintly in my other ear.
"Is this trail about 3 miles?" he asked.
"I believe the last mile marker says 1.7 miles, so you could make it a little more than 3 miles if you do the circle twice, " I answered.
"I usually walk the other trail, but this time I decided to do this one," he explained.
I raised my eyebrows, "There's another trail?"
He pointed. "On the other side of the parking lot there is one."
I smiled again. "I might try that one next time. I could use some new scenery!"
He smiled, again, "Exactly." Then, turning and reaching out with his walking stick, he said, "God bless."
I put my headphone back to my ear. "Thanks!" I said.
My eyes pricked with tears as a new song began to sound in my ears. How simply he gave that final salutation, and to a stranger after just a smidgen of conversation. Then I began to wonder whether I'd met a man at all, wondered if instead I'd entertained an angel, as the saying goes. And a little thrill went through my soul as I replayed our exchange from a more transcendent perspective, for the nudge from God told me that even if I really had met a man, I had nevertheless met an angel.
And right then, it was all prayer.
So prayer...
it is a listening.
A watching.
A knowing things differently.
A seeing that all in this life is but a sort of shadow, and yet understanding the beautiful mystery:
something makes that shadow.
And finally, it is a responding.
The next time I visit that park to take a walk,
I'll be trying the other trail.
I took a walk today, and as I walked along my favorite trail I passed a man who walked the opposite direction. Bald, in a grey hoodie and wearing sunglasses, he traveled with a walking stick in hand. We smiled and nodded to each other, and I walked on around the circle.
About a mile around the loop, in a broad open place, I came upon him again.
He smiled, "We meet again."
I smiled, "That happens when you walk a circular trail." I took one headphone bud from my ear. The music still played faintly in my other ear.
"Is this trail about 3 miles?" he asked.
"I believe the last mile marker says 1.7 miles, so you could make it a little more than 3 miles if you do the circle twice, " I answered.
"I usually walk the other trail, but this time I decided to do this one," he explained.
I raised my eyebrows, "There's another trail?"
He pointed. "On the other side of the parking lot there is one."
I smiled again. "I might try that one next time. I could use some new scenery!"
He smiled, again, "Exactly." Then, turning and reaching out with his walking stick, he said, "God bless."
I put my headphone back to my ear. "Thanks!" I said.
My eyes pricked with tears as a new song began to sound in my ears. How simply he gave that final salutation, and to a stranger after just a smidgen of conversation. Then I began to wonder whether I'd met a man at all, wondered if instead I'd entertained an angel, as the saying goes. And a little thrill went through my soul as I replayed our exchange from a more transcendent perspective, for the nudge from God told me that even if I really had met a man, I had nevertheless met an angel.
And right then, it was all prayer.
So prayer...
it is a listening.
A watching.
A knowing things differently.
A seeing that all in this life is but a sort of shadow, and yet understanding the beautiful mystery:
something makes that shadow.
And finally, it is a responding.
The next time I visit that park to take a walk,
I'll be trying the other trail.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
What Do You Call a Liberal Christian?
"The LORD is in his holy temple, the LORD'S throne is in heaven: his
eyes behold, his eyelids test, the children of men." Psalm 11:4
What do we do with our breaches? When the enthroned Lord beholds in us a thing that makes Him show us His eyelids, testing our hearts while His eyes are veiled, what do we display? What should we do? He tests, but not how we gather up in our similarities. He tests how well we navigate our differences.
And so, this post is written for a very specific group of readers.
It is for those who cannot conceive how a person can be a political liberal and still call himself a Christian. But, it is written for them only if they genuinely want to understand these brothers in Christ and not just hate them.
So...what forms the political mind of the liberal Christian?
This post is long but rather narrow, be forewarned.
It quotes Scripture.
It reveals hearts, but it leaves much as yet unexamined. A large breach in a fort's wall can't be closed all at once. It is repaired a brick at a time; therefore while it is typical to argue specifics concerning the various platforms on the liberal's shopping list of philosophical postures, I share here ones that are hopefully a little different. These have the potential to be actual bricks in the hole. These are the high points, the staples on the Christian liberal's list that keep him embracing the liberal label. Even at that, these high points are honed down to a specific few. They touch primarily the spiritual implications of the economic policy of the liberal. It is very important to keep this in mind in order to achieve understanding. Touch and consider this one element first, and then move on to ones more inscrutable. This one is very straightforward. But if understanding is not your goal, you should stop reading. If you're feeling argumentative and are looking for temples to topple, you should stop reading.
The following is meant to be breach repair.
Liberals and Conservatives both have told me behind closed doors in whispered tones that they aren't completely comfortable with everything they're told they must believe in order to wear their chosen label, but they dare not share that chink of disloyalty publicly. For them, this post explains one of those things that is not a shadowy "wish we felt different about that" point. This is foundational to why the Liberal feels his is even yet the political position that offers certain soul-things to his society that do not appear to sufficiently significant in Conservative policy; and why, by embracing this position, he believes he can stand clean before God even when God shows His eyelids over certain Biblical passages. Passages like the following.
Oh...and they take this very seriously: (italics mine)
The things in italics above, the Liberal does not feel the Conservative party adequately addresses. To the Liberal Christian, it is not enough to say: "Well, those are private matters between a person and his God. Those are things for individuals and churches to cover." But the talk of oppression of workers points the finger too obviouslyat the attitude of the infamous One Percent and their level of seriousness about their societal responsibility. Liberal Christians do not fear addressing these verses communally. As this passage above introduces itself: if you're going to promote yourselves as a righteous nation, certain things are required of you...But the things of this passage are not the ones Liberals hear pressed as significant by our society's religious right. We are a righteous nation in some respects, the Liberal feels, but we are electively blind in the things of this passage. We say we are the Body of Christ, but in these matters we far prefer to be a collection of body parts that hopefully function as a whole to get the job of a body done. More than anything, the Liberal Christian feels the hatred of the Conservative because the Liberal displays how hopeless is this expectation of functionality from this dis-embodied, headless heap of limbs and organs. The Liberal, because he calls for Plan B--a government that gets the job done--may be naive for thinking any comtemporary human government could accomplish this goal, considering none in all history ever has done so and maintained it; still this is not why he is hated by others around him. He is hated because he reveals how much we as a society have failed at embracing Plan A: Christ as the Head, love as the goal.
He pokes at the nation's pus pocket of the soul, and here it is: Protect your wealth against the schemes of the lazy. This is what he hears promoted, and it chafes against passages like the one above for him. When he must weigh this Conservative policy of personal wealth preservation at all costs against the passage above--especially considering that it concludes with "I, the Lord, have spoken!"--he feels caught in a vise. Such closure in the Word of God should be sobering to any Christian.
For is it really a truism: that all the poor are lazy and selfish? Do we really believe what we say when we say that? Do we even hear ourselves saying that? Should we not, given we call ourselves a righteous nation, concern ourselves with their needs anyway? Are we really spiritually exempt from addressing poverty and need corporately? If so, then what does it mean to be a Christian nation? Is it really just a credal badge, without any accompanying action?
Jesus often spoke figuratively of groups being called to "rise up and judge" certain segments of His society. He called up the likes of Sodom and Gomorrah, Nineveh and the Queen of Sheba. Would He not, in our day, call up the widow with her two mites to answer that philosophical question? How would she respond to the statement that the poor are lazy and selfish and should be forced to fend for themselves overall? If you think I go too far with that, then consider how she would judge our policies for addressing the needs of our corporate poor on this presumption of lack of motivation in the poor of our society, again given that we choose to wear the badge "Christian Nation"? Would she not ask, "How many actual poor have you personally known in order to form this opinion? Which poor people in your own community can you name who have taught you that this is an overarching truth?"
And so, many a Liberal Christian has stopped going to church and walks in the despair of the reproached. But, he considers Psalm 73. He gazes through the lens that defines who is who in our society. This is where the Liberal Christian's heart goes when he feels ostracized, when he tries to go to Church USA and yet remain true to his understanding of Isaiah 58:
And so the Liberals are beginning to congeal and find sanctuaries for themselves. When they are considered senseless beasts by those around them--even taught to call themselves this, they are remembering to say, "And yet I am yours" to their God. For this they are considered anathema to the "prosperous wicked," who court the most eloquent Conservative pundits against these new gatherings--particularly because of the spiritual side of the authority and power shifting around in all these things. It is one thing to have to deal with protestors in a chaos of tents. It is another thing entirely to deal with those who consider themselves God's chosen champions for the poor and the oppressed--especially when they gather together and reflect on the verses that tell them the result of their dedication to His cause. They may not have it all exactly right, but they are beginning to pay attention to the the apples of God's eye in an orchard long neglected. The halls of entrenched power respect the lessons of history enough to make great efforts to shroud such things in darkness and disdain, for these are the things of successful revolution. The Powerful would hide their "let them eat cake" derision in Our Day before it is processed by potential revolutionaries.
Does all this make the Liberal Christian the emblem of perfection? Hardly, for while the Liberal might bear this verse on his bumper sticker:
Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would borrow from you.
he, nevertheless, would hesitate to have his pundits prate over this one any more that the Conservatives would:
For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?
Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
Indeed. Here we are stuck. We love those who love us. We say we love others but hate their sin, and so God test us in that. And time under God's eyelids proves it: "...there is none righteous, no not one..." For now, we are not hating each other's sin. We are hating each other's beliefs. We are moving in to the core territory, and love is waning.
But, even as we, hopefully, humble ourselves to accept our falling-short across the board, God does not forget. Nor does His grace fall insufficient. One day, we will acknowledge that it is He who sets the intricate balance of human economy, of seed to sower and bread to eater.
In the day we stop worshiping the work of our hands we will know:
What should we say to the closed eyelids?
"I desire you more than anything on earth." That is what He is waiting to hear.
In as much as it depends on you: repair the breach, touch His heart.
And ask Him to open His eyes on you and your brother again.
What do we do with our breaches? When the enthroned Lord beholds in us a thing that makes Him show us His eyelids, testing our hearts while His eyes are veiled, what do we display? What should we do? He tests, but not how we gather up in our similarities. He tests how well we navigate our differences.
And so, this post is written for a very specific group of readers.
It is for those who cannot conceive how a person can be a political liberal and still call himself a Christian. But, it is written for them only if they genuinely want to understand these brothers in Christ and not just hate them.
So...what forms the political mind of the liberal Christian?
This post is long but rather narrow, be forewarned.
It quotes Scripture.
It reveals hearts, but it leaves much as yet unexamined. A large breach in a fort's wall can't be closed all at once. It is repaired a brick at a time; therefore while it is typical to argue specifics concerning the various platforms on the liberal's shopping list of philosophical postures, I share here ones that are hopefully a little different. These have the potential to be actual bricks in the hole. These are the high points, the staples on the Christian liberal's list that keep him embracing the liberal label. Even at that, these high points are honed down to a specific few. They touch primarily the spiritual implications of the economic policy of the liberal. It is very important to keep this in mind in order to achieve understanding. Touch and consider this one element first, and then move on to ones more inscrutable. This one is very straightforward. But if understanding is not your goal, you should stop reading. If you're feeling argumentative and are looking for temples to topple, you should stop reading.
The following is meant to be breach repair.
Liberals and Conservatives both have told me behind closed doors in whispered tones that they aren't completely comfortable with everything they're told they must believe in order to wear their chosen label, but they dare not share that chink of disloyalty publicly. For them, this post explains one of those things that is not a shadowy "wish we felt different about that" point. This is foundational to why the Liberal feels his is even yet the political position that offers certain soul-things to his society that do not appear to sufficiently significant in Conservative policy; and why, by embracing this position, he believes he can stand clean before God even when God shows His eyelids over certain Biblical passages. Passages like the following.
Oh...and they take this very seriously: (italics mine)
True and False Worship
1 “Shout with the voice of a trumpet blast.
Shout aloud! Don’t be timid.
Tell my people Israel [fn1] of their sins!
2 Yet they act so pious!
They come to the Temple every day
and seem delighted to learn all about me.
They act like a righteous nation
that would never abandon the laws of its God.
They ask me to take action on their behalf,
pretending they want to be near me.
3 ‘We have fasted before you!’ they say.
‘Why aren’t you impressed?
We have been very hard on ourselves,
and you don’t even notice it!’
“I will tell you why!” I respond.
“It’s because you are fasting to please yourselves.
Even while you fast,
you keep oppressing your workers.
4 What good is fasting
when you keep on fighting and quarreling?
This kind of fasting
will never get you anywhere with me.
5 You humble yourselves
by going through the motions of penance,
bowing your heads
like reeds bending in the wind.
You dress in burlap
and cover yourselves with ashes.
Is this what you call fasting?
Do you really think this will please the LORD?
6 “No, this is the kind of fasting I want:
Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;
lighten the burden of those who work for you.
Let the oppressed go free,
and remove the chains that bind people.
7 Share your food with the hungry,
and give shelter to the homeless.
Give clothes to those who need them,
and do not hide from relatives who need your help.
8 “Then your salvation will come like the dawn,
and your wounds will quickly heal.
Your godliness will lead you forward,
and the glory of the LORD will protect you
from behind.
9 Then when you call, the LORD will answer.
‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply.
“Remove the heavy yoke of oppression.
Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious
rumors!
10 Feed the hungry,
and help those in trouble.
Then your light will shine out from the darkness,
and the darkness around you will be as bright as
noon.
11 The LORD will guide you
continually,
giving you water when you are dry
and restoring your strength.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like an ever-flowing spring.
12 Some of you will rebuild the deserted ruins of your
cities.
Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls
and a restorer of homes.
13 “Keep the Sabbath day holy.
Don’t pursue your own interests on that day,
but enjoy the Sabbath
and speak of it with delight as the LORD’s holy day.
Honor the Sabbath in everything you do on that day,
and don’t follow your own desires or talk idly.
14 Then the LORD will be your
delight.
I will give you great honor
and satisfy you with the inheritance I promised to your
ancestor Jacob.
I, the LORD, have spoken!”
--Isaiah 58, NLT
The things in italics above, the Liberal does not feel the Conservative party adequately addresses. To the Liberal Christian, it is not enough to say: "Well, those are private matters between a person and his God. Those are things for individuals and churches to cover." But the talk of oppression of workers points the finger too obviouslyat the attitude of the infamous One Percent and their level of seriousness about their societal responsibility. Liberal Christians do not fear addressing these verses communally. As this passage above introduces itself: if you're going to promote yourselves as a righteous nation, certain things are required of you...But the things of this passage are not the ones Liberals hear pressed as significant by our society's religious right. We are a righteous nation in some respects, the Liberal feels, but we are electively blind in the things of this passage. We say we are the Body of Christ, but in these matters we far prefer to be a collection of body parts that hopefully function as a whole to get the job of a body done. More than anything, the Liberal Christian feels the hatred of the Conservative because the Liberal displays how hopeless is this expectation of functionality from this dis-embodied, headless heap of limbs and organs. The Liberal, because he calls for Plan B--a government that gets the job done--may be naive for thinking any comtemporary human government could accomplish this goal, considering none in all history ever has done so and maintained it; still this is not why he is hated by others around him. He is hated because he reveals how much we as a society have failed at embracing Plan A: Christ as the Head, love as the goal.
He pokes at the nation's pus pocket of the soul, and here it is: Protect your wealth against the schemes of the lazy. This is what he hears promoted, and it chafes against passages like the one above for him. When he must weigh this Conservative policy of personal wealth preservation at all costs against the passage above--especially considering that it concludes with "I, the Lord, have spoken!"--he feels caught in a vise. Such closure in the Word of God should be sobering to any Christian.
For is it really a truism: that all the poor are lazy and selfish? Do we really believe what we say when we say that? Do we even hear ourselves saying that? Should we not, given we call ourselves a righteous nation, concern ourselves with their needs anyway? Are we really spiritually exempt from addressing poverty and need corporately? If so, then what does it mean to be a Christian nation? Is it really just a credal badge, without any accompanying action?
Jesus often spoke figuratively of groups being called to "rise up and judge" certain segments of His society. He called up the likes of Sodom and Gomorrah, Nineveh and the Queen of Sheba. Would He not, in our day, call up the widow with her two mites to answer that philosophical question? How would she respond to the statement that the poor are lazy and selfish and should be forced to fend for themselves overall? If you think I go too far with that, then consider how she would judge our policies for addressing the needs of our corporate poor on this presumption of lack of motivation in the poor of our society, again given that we choose to wear the badge "Christian Nation"? Would she not ask, "How many actual poor have you personally known in order to form this opinion? Which poor people in your own community can you name who have taught you that this is an overarching truth?"
And so, many a Liberal Christian has stopped going to church and walks in the despair of the reproached. But, he considers Psalm 73. He gazes through the lens that defines who is who in our society. This is where the Liberal Christian's heart goes when he feels ostracized, when he tries to go to Church USA and yet remain true to his understanding of Isaiah 58:
1 Truly God is good to Israel,
to those whose hearts are pure.
2 But as for me, I almost lost my footing.
My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone.
3 For I envied the proud
when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness.
4 They seem to live such painless lives;
their bodies are so healthy and strong.
5 They don’t have troubles like other people;
they’re not plagued with problems like everyone
else.
6 They wear pride like a jeweled necklace
and clothe themselves with cruelty.
7 These fat cats have everything
their hearts could ever wish for!
8 They scoff and speak only evil;
in their pride they seek to crush others.
9 They boast against the very heavens,
and their words strut throughout the earth.
10 And so the people are dismayed and confused,
drinking in all their words.
11 “What does God know?” they ask.
“Does the Most High even know what’s happening?”
12 Look at these wicked people—
enjoying a life of ease while their riches
multiply.
13 Did I keep my heart pure for nothing?
Did I keep myself innocent for no reason?
14 I get nothing but trouble all day long;
every morning brings me pain.
15 If I had really spoken this way to others,
I would have been a traitor to your people.
16 So I tried to understand why the wicked prosper.
But what a difficult task it is!
17 Then I went into your sanctuary, O God,
and I finally understood the destiny of the wicked.
18 Truly, you put them on a slippery path
and send them sliding over the cliff to
destruction.
19 In an instant they are destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors.
20 When you arise, O Lord,
you will laugh at their silly ideas
as a person laughs at dreams in the morning.
21 Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
and I was all torn up inside.
22 I was so foolish and ignorant—
I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
23 Yet I still belong to you;
you hold my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
leading me to a glorious destiny.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth.
26 My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever.
27 Those who desert him will perish,
for you destroy those who abandon you.
28 But as for me, how good it is to be near God!
I have made the Sovereign LORD my shelter,
and I will tell everyone about the wonderful things you
do.
And so the Liberals are beginning to congeal and find sanctuaries for themselves. When they are considered senseless beasts by those around them--even taught to call themselves this, they are remembering to say, "And yet I am yours" to their God. For this they are considered anathema to the "prosperous wicked," who court the most eloquent Conservative pundits against these new gatherings--particularly because of the spiritual side of the authority and power shifting around in all these things. It is one thing to have to deal with protestors in a chaos of tents. It is another thing entirely to deal with those who consider themselves God's chosen champions for the poor and the oppressed--especially when they gather together and reflect on the verses that tell them the result of their dedication to His cause. They may not have it all exactly right, but they are beginning to pay attention to the the apples of God's eye in an orchard long neglected. The halls of entrenched power respect the lessons of history enough to make great efforts to shroud such things in darkness and disdain, for these are the things of successful revolution. The Powerful would hide their "let them eat cake" derision in Our Day before it is processed by potential revolutionaries.
Does all this make the Liberal Christian the emblem of perfection? Hardly, for while the Liberal might bear this verse on his bumper sticker:
Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would borrow from you.
he, nevertheless, would hesitate to have his pundits prate over this one any more that the Conservatives would:
For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?
Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
Indeed. Here we are stuck. We love those who love us. We say we love others but hate their sin, and so God test us in that. And time under God's eyelids proves it: "...there is none righteous, no not one..." For now, we are not hating each other's sin. We are hating each other's beliefs. We are moving in to the core territory, and love is waning.
But, even as we, hopefully, humble ourselves to accept our falling-short across the board, God does not forget. Nor does His grace fall insufficient. One day, we will acknowledge that it is He who sets the intricate balance of human economy, of seed to sower and bread to eater.
In the day we stop worshiping the work of our hands we will know:
| Isa 55:8 | For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD. |
| Isa 55:9 | For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. |
| Isa 55:10 | "For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and return not thither but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, |
| Isa 55:11 | so shall my word be that goes forth from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and prosper in the thing for which I sent it. |
| Isa 55:12 | "For you shall go out in joy, and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands. |
| Isa 55:13 | Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle; and it shall be to the LORD for a memorial, for an everlasting sign which shall not be cut off." |
"I desire you more than anything on earth." That is what He is waiting to hear.
In as much as it depends on you: repair the breach, touch His heart.
And ask Him to open His eyes on you and your brother again.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
"There is a way that seemeth right to a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death..." Proverbs 16:25
The way of death is like a man who conquers a mountain of ice.
But what is ice?
A faulty solid,
Utterly dependent on the climate of the day.
He plants his flag, but soon
A warm wind blows, and ice becomes water
And water steam.
And the wind takes it away
While he and his flag
Are left behind
Looking silly...
The way of death is like a man who conquers a mountain of ice.
But what is ice?
A faulty solid,
Utterly dependent on the climate of the day.
He plants his flag, but soon
A warm wind blows, and ice becomes water
And water steam.
And the wind takes it away
While he and his flag
Are left behind
Looking silly...
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
What Might I Say to an Athiest
If you want to understand me:
spend time with monks who live under a vow of silence;
watch a fistful of sand blow through your fingers on a craggy cliff;
listen to a single snowflake, and then to a chorus of them;
And finally, permit yourself to set aside
textbooks and treatises,
mirrors and tools.
Fill their place
WIth poetry.
And as you do, consider the possibility:
You ARE the poetry in the hidden places.
Do these, and I might begin to seem less ridiculous.
spend time with monks who live under a vow of silence;
watch a fistful of sand blow through your fingers on a craggy cliff;
listen to a single snowflake, and then to a chorus of them;
And finally, permit yourself to set aside
textbooks and treatises,
mirrors and tools.
Fill their place
WIth poetry.
And as you do, consider the possibility:
You ARE the poetry in the hidden places.
Do these, and I might begin to seem less ridiculous.
Monday, January 02, 2012
What Do You Call Forgiveness?
Today I read prayers, composed by the Kalahari Bushmen--written long before missionaries ever found their tribes.
(You are the master)
Lord, Lord, you are the Lord.
You created all things.
You are the master of the forest.
You are the master of the animals.
You are our master, and we are your servants.
You are the master of life and death.
You rule, we obey.
(For protection against snakes)
When the foot in the night stumbles,
Let the obstacle not rear up and bite.
There are many branches strewn across our path
Which threaten no harm to the clumsy foot,
Protect against those sharp-toothed branches
That spring to life and kill.
(On a journey)
Keep us safe from every ill,
Every mishap, every pain.
Let no men or animals attack us.
Lord, bring us safely home.
But my own prayer on reading these was not as confident as the prayers of these Bushmen, whose prayers I've been taught to disdain as the prayers of the unsaved.
Lord, I don't pretend to understand the full mystery of the way you as Son of God instate the conditions of forgiveness, but something feels shallow in my belief if I am to espouse the idea that You would look upon such a prayer and shrug and say, "Sorry. Too bad no one came along to tell you My story. I could have done something for you then, but as it stands I can do nothing with your request for a safe trip home, for safety from the snake, and I cannot esteem your obedience..."
We (those blessed to hear Your story from our cradles) can comfort ourselves by thinking, well such prayers brought missionaries...but what of the ones who prayed these before the missionaries ever arrived? It seems to me that to believe them collateral damage is to believe You a slave to time and chance, and that simply cannot be! You may allow that man's free will should limit Your power, but to allow time and chance to rule Your eternal availability is something else entirely, is it not? I would rather believe that I've walked under faulty teaching than to believe that You are so happily treacherous and cavalier with destiny. I know You are God and can do what You like, but doesn't that maybe mean that You could choose to do good though my eye might see evil?
And so, I wondered if I thus blasphemed myself right out of my own right-standing--ever to have a hip out of joint, at best.
But later, I read something else in a book called Christy. It's a semi-biographical novel about a young woman who, in 1912, left a cosmopolitan world to enter remote mountain life as a mission-school teacher. In the story, she is asked to prepare a newborn's corpse for burial as no other mission employee is available. She discovers that the mother unintentionally killed her child, never realizing her own hand dealt the death. The baby, according to the mother, was "liver-growed" which meant that while one infant hand could cross the body and touch the foot from one side, it could not from the other side. Even to the "modern mind" of 1912, this pointed to profound internal organ issues; but to the mountain woman it was something else entirely.
Don't be afraid to ask questions if they are soul questions and not just some argument springing from an idle mind or a secret lack of courage. Now, here is better question to ask yourself: is it likely that a 19-year-old girl completely out of her element in the throes of her first exposure to profound and permanent loss, loss due to ignorance--that even this young girl should have more compassionate wisdom at her disposal than I am able to generate?
"...Opal McHone had not known what she did. And I had to understand and forgive her on that basis, otherwise I could be no comfort to her at all..."
If it is all about happening by chance to know the the right things at the right time or else suffer eternal torment, then where in the world does charity find a resting place? It is a thing to think about...
SO here is my prayer, from Romans 2, help me to understand the mystery:
(You are the master)
Lord, Lord, you are the Lord.
You created all things.
You are the master of the forest.
You are the master of the animals.
You are our master, and we are your servants.
You are the master of life and death.
You rule, we obey.
(For protection against snakes)
When the foot in the night stumbles,
Let the obstacle not rear up and bite.
There are many branches strewn across our path
Which threaten no harm to the clumsy foot,
Protect against those sharp-toothed branches
That spring to life and kill.
(On a journey)
Keep us safe from every ill,
Every mishap, every pain.
Let no men or animals attack us.
Lord, bring us safely home.
But my own prayer on reading these was not as confident as the prayers of these Bushmen, whose prayers I've been taught to disdain as the prayers of the unsaved.
Lord, I don't pretend to understand the full mystery of the way you as Son of God instate the conditions of forgiveness, but something feels shallow in my belief if I am to espouse the idea that You would look upon such a prayer and shrug and say, "Sorry. Too bad no one came along to tell you My story. I could have done something for you then, but as it stands I can do nothing with your request for a safe trip home, for safety from the snake, and I cannot esteem your obedience..."
We (those blessed to hear Your story from our cradles) can comfort ourselves by thinking, well such prayers brought missionaries...but what of the ones who prayed these before the missionaries ever arrived? It seems to me that to believe them collateral damage is to believe You a slave to time and chance, and that simply cannot be! You may allow that man's free will should limit Your power, but to allow time and chance to rule Your eternal availability is something else entirely, is it not? I would rather believe that I've walked under faulty teaching than to believe that You are so happily treacherous and cavalier with destiny. I know You are God and can do what You like, but doesn't that maybe mean that You could choose to do good though my eye might see evil?
And so, I wondered if I thus blasphemed myself right out of my own right-standing--ever to have a hip out of joint, at best.
But later, I read something else in a book called Christy. It's a semi-biographical novel about a young woman who, in 1912, left a cosmopolitan world to enter remote mountain life as a mission-school teacher. In the story, she is asked to prepare a newborn's corpse for burial as no other mission employee is available. She discovers that the mother unintentionally killed her child, never realizing her own hand dealt the death. The baby, according to the mother, was "liver-growed" which meant that while one infant hand could cross the body and touch the foot from one side, it could not from the other side. Even to the "modern mind" of 1912, this pointed to profound internal organ issues; but to the mountain woman it was something else entirely.
"What do you do then?" I asked.I read the prayerbook intending to pray and found I couldn't; I read the novel just for fun and found myself praying for You linked them in my mind.
"You got to force the hand and heel to tech. When I pulled, the baby hollered and went as limp and white as a new-washed rag doll. Never could do nothin' with her after that. Give her tea all night long, but nothin' holped. Jest afore the sunball come up, we heerd the death tick in the wall. Jest quit breathin' then, she did."
The woman had started crying quietly, wiping her eyes with the edge of her apron. She led us inside the house and pointed to the little waxen body lying in the middle of a large bed, a white cloth over the tiny face.
The horror of this sickened me. The baby must have had cruel internal injuries. Yet Opal McHone had wanted this baby daughter. She was not a callous, indifferent mother but had acted out of love, love mired by her ignorance and by the superstition handed down to her.
At that time, for the first time in my life, I knew grief. I had had childish disappointments, yes. Hurt pride, often. A sense of loss, sometimes. But compared to what I was feeling now, these had been superficial emotions because they were so self-centered. On my tongue now was the first bitter taste of a grief not my own. My heart was mirroring back from the world's pain just one episode from all the endless woes and infamies caused by the not-knowing and the not-caring. Opal McHone had not known what she did. And I had to understand and to forgive her on that basis, otherwise I could be no comfort to her at all.
Don't be afraid to ask questions if they are soul questions and not just some argument springing from an idle mind or a secret lack of courage. Now, here is better question to ask yourself: is it likely that a 19-year-old girl completely out of her element in the throes of her first exposure to profound and permanent loss, loss due to ignorance--that even this young girl should have more compassionate wisdom at her disposal than I am able to generate?
"...Opal McHone had not known what she did. And I had to understand and forgive her on that basis, otherwise I could be no comfort to her at all..."
If it is all about happening by chance to know the the right things at the right time or else suffer eternal torment, then where in the world does charity find a resting place? It is a thing to think about...
SO here is my prayer, from Romans 2, help me to understand the mystery:
For it is not the hearers of the law who are righteous before
God, but the doers of the law who will be justified.
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| Your law, O God, is that I love You with all my heart and my soul and my mind, and love my neighbor as myself. Whatever You would have me know of the mysteries of our salvation, may I never be the cause for Your name to be blasphemed. Amen. |
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