The good is always the enemy of the best...

...says Oswald Chambers.
Yesterday I blogged about my misunderstood friend...one who has joined the fraternity of the "secretly honorable." (smile)

I've also blogged in the past about how God has been showing me to be a living example of what was given symbolically to the Ancient Hebrews through the image of bread...called the Bread of the Presence. I've been that bread this week in particular in at least 7 episodes...some were of my own initiating, while some were other-initiated.

Now these two merge into one very funny piece that Scott sent to a young friend of ours. It is too funny and too timely to not keep a record of it here:

BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!
Research on bread indicates that:
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!
6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:
1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

No one can say how they'll be bread for someone else. No one can know whether in giving themselves as a type of offering they will be understood, as this funny little piece demonstrates.

Lately, we've felt God tapping us on the shoulder and saying He was going to make changes in our lives. It has been such a gauntlet to run...envisioning one obstacle after another...primarily obstacles to our human logic. Like human logic dictates divine activity! So we've done what everyone does: we've made ourselves busy. My book that I'm reading, the one that is supposed to function as a cheerleader in my efforts to accept this mysterious divinely-prompted anticipation of change, says: "When we're busy, we don't just ignore God; we make control our god."

The first change You dictated was to slow down. You hit me in the head with a brick...and I don't mean figuratively (smile)...on that one, God. So I will slow down. Irony here--a thing I see many places lately--is also found in the imagery of my little book: when we accept that God is wanting to make changes, we are often stupified because we are busy pouring over a Rand McNally rendering to tell us where we're going...even as You are buckling us into the seat of a supersonic jet. "Get over yourself...come along for the ride. Trust me. You'll end up where I want you, whether you can track the little red and blue lines across the page or not."

So...am I ready to sit perfectly still; be slow; be relaxed...even as You chose the altitude and rev up Your engines, shooting me/us off at the speed of sound?