The Image Loads!

The picture I've tried for several days to post finally appears. And it loads both here and in life. Can I share the story, my love, even though it hints at being embarrassing in the "don't let them catch you being poor" culture of our country? Sharing how "destitute" we ended up being for a couple of days, my love? But who are we to hide such a great testimony about the provision of God, our "when I am weak then I am strong" story alongside St. Paul.

My friend and I sat in my relatively empty classroom during the lunch hour on Wednesday and visited, sharing stories about how desperately we were both strapped for cash. (A few other random people were eating in there, too. And also probably strapped for cash--we all have callings rather than careers at this place, and wonderful though it is, you don't get rich being here.) I shared with her that while your first paycheck at the new job after this "gap time" was due to direct-deposit in the bank on Friday, this day was nevertheless only Wednesday and the gas gauge on my van told me I could only be certain of getting to work and back on Thursday. Friday would almost certainly be a no-go day unless I found a way to add fuel. The last four years have chipped away at all of our quickly-accessed savings, leaving me to honestly say, "If I'm going to be here Friday, it will be by an act of God."

She shook her head and dug her hand into the bag of Reese cups she was sharing with me. "Funny how sometimes He lets it get to the point where you have to say 'God, if You don't come through, it just won't happen.' "

My private thoughts on the matter took me back to the things I've blogged recently. I didn't tell her, but I told you, my love, how I'm running this experiment on using zero-tolerance for bearing false witness. In my mind, this would nix any idea of floating a check Thursday to get the gas, which would be the most obvious Plan A. How could I put my signature down that I had the money when I don't? It's a large part of my aversion to using credit for anything but a house or a car. Now I can see many folks--should they hear me run that train of thought--think me a bit too fanatic. I wonder that myself a little, but what's the point of running this experiment, this trial of a total honesty gambit at all if if I'm not really going after it as a purist?

Your response was, "I'll have to slit my wrists if I find out you ran out of gas because we don't have any money for one day and so you're standing there in the rain beside the van, stranded. Write a check. Do you hear me?" So I'm thinking Plan A has to shift to Plan B: I could borrow some money from someone, because I'm now determined not to ruin this new trend I've started with God, but then I don't want you slitting your wrists either. Borrowing has its drawbacks, too, however, as the whole issue of my spouting to anyone handy this line about how mystical and wondrous is the provision of God, well it falls flat when I follow it with, oh and by the way can I borrow a five? Just until tomorrow.

So I decided to let it ride and see what happened on Thursday. Once upon a time, I'd panic at moments like these, but my tolerance for desperate situations has grown exponentially these last few years.

Thursday morning, I walked into the office to hand in my homeroom absence list and perform other sundry antiquated tasks that the wealthier, computerized public schools no longer do and there I met my lunch friend who was doing likewise: copying her own worksheets rather than emailing a scanned image of them to the school bookstore to have them printed. As we said good morning, the secretary stopped me. "Wait a minute, I have something for you," she said, handing me an envelope. I opened the envelope to find a $20 bill in it. "It's a wishbook donation for you. One of the school mom's contributed toward your wishbook listing, and since it is Wishbook Party Day, all the families are handing in their 'gifts'." I had listed that I wanted help funding a Christmas band party, and this request must have prompted the gift. The thought occured to me, always do those extra little favors when you feel the nudge. You never know when God will make it more than just a little favor.

I looked at my friend, "Do you remember what I said at lunch yesterday?" I asked.
"This is amazing," she responded.

Now I suppose I could be a legalist and say that the money was designated for a party to be held in December, so I should have put it in the bank and not touched it until December. But I think I'll see it as that act of God that:
A) got me to school today, and
B)verified the assertion that those who seek to be pure in heart will indeed see God.