How long will I wait?

Even as I type the title, my strep-stricken 5-year-old throws his arms around my neck, wanting his turn to play at nickjr.com and asks, "How long is this going to take?" The question of the day, with the answer being that--today anyway--I didn't give up until the system gave up on me.

While this little one was inquiring about the availability of the computer, I was staring at the big exclamation point inside the gold triangle inside the circle that pops up as the graphic while one waits for a photo to download to a blog posting. Twice now, I've attempted to put a second photo with the last blog, the one that has my son and me serving as allegory for the God of all comfort bringing peace to one of His children. The second photo I long to bring to the post shows Nolan's relief, the release into the comforts of mother's love. This is the photo that wouldn't load yesterday.

So I tried again today. But no photo today either. I play with the pop-up while the green bars creep across the bottom. I change the size of the display, so that at 400% the word LOADING screams at me all alone on the screen. But then it shifts to the display that tells me "no can do" to embedding the photo. This photo that I want so much to bring into the story. This photo that seems to be the necessary counterpart to the first, the faith from one side meets its companion on the other side. But it won't load, and though I continue to knock at the door, it won't load. "Though it tarries, wait for it."

So many things, God, slowly loading. And there, when I glance quickly over my shoulder, I see, trying to upstage me is that sliver of Doubt, trying to win ground by making "life" appear to mock me, seeming to defeat me yet again today: reminding me of so many things, but in a nutshell this: even when all the green bars fill their little niche, the picture can still fail to load.

I dreamed You took us a round-about way. I dreamed that although it burdened us, it was good for others to have access to the evidence that You have been the rock of our strength; good for them to rely on the history of our walk with You as one of their resources.

How long will I wait? Until You give me something else to do.