Taking My Own Advice...

This was my theme today. Seek God's counsel! I shouted it from the rooftops. But then I fell off, bumped along the drain pipe and the rose trellis, hit the bushes--but am finally now climbing back up there to shout again.

Unfortunately, I am surrounded by foothills marked by a sign post: "TO DO" items. So I easily, thoughtlessly forget the advice I gave in days gone by, advice I should maybe internalize and apply right now.

But as to right now, my only thought is: who could get advice from this quadrant anyway? Even getting near me would entail a climb over these math tests that need to be graded tonight so that I can stay on track to have the 9-weeks averages finished by next week. Then that seeker-of-me would have to vault over the paperwork and cryptic scraps scattered around as I've planned and created a performance order and program format for the "Fine Arts Night" next week at school. Finally, if a person got that far, a last lifting of the arms to part the paper sea that is the pile of rubrics destined to score 2 of my 3 computer classes' Publisher projects would open the inner sanctum of my personal space, where I could be found, nibbling the end of a red pen.

And if I happen to not be there, I'm most likely paying billls, balancing the checkbook or folding bulletins at the church office (my one "community volunteer" activity, so I hate to give it up.) And if I happen not to be there, then my pesky children have snagged me with their incessant insistance on clean clothes to wear and the periodic hot meal. Even my words are disjunct and disorganized. My life feels a shambles. Who wants advice from such as me!?!

Still, I gave plenty last fall at school. Claimed it was Your counsel, too, which was the truth. But as life crowded and my health waned, I failed to follow through. Now I find myself haunted by words that were on my mind this morning as I woke: do not make the Lord's counsel/council of no effect. And as You often do, You hid a play on words there: You told me to support the school kids as they asked the school to establish student body leaders: a student council. You showed me how it was from You. I professed it to everyone I could find there. But then when the ball was rolling, I turned away from it, leaving the follow-through to others, and this was certainly a premature abandonment. When will I learn to follow You all the way to the end?

You sent one of those children to me, and she was also on my mind this morning. Kara, a 16-year-old I respect exponentially more than I respect myself at her age, came to me with a story a couple of months ago. She told of a dream she had had in which she met a friend who transferred to our school; and while this friend spoke in conversation with her, and Kara heard her, she also heard the voice that spoke in the girl's head--a voice that said very different things than what her mouth was saying. Kara dreamed she helped this girl deal with the head voice. When she finished telling the dream, she asked me if I thought it was a silly one. I said no, and told her I thought it was from You. She said that was her feeling, too. She just needed to have it confirmed, I guess. I told her You were calling her to intercession...to action.

But then when I turned the conversation and lightly asked her what she had in mind for this new Student Council to do, she looked at me intently and said, "Have separate chapel services for high school and junior high. We have high school kids doing things that need advice from the adults, but because of the young ones, we can't look at these things. For instance, kids are drinking, and you guys (teachers) don't know about it." Why I didn't jump on that right away can only be attributed to a mis-guided and smug assurance that my own internal radar, blipping on Your Spirit, is all I need. That You might provide the kids themselves as a pulse point to diagnose their corporate-Body needs didn't occur to me as the outcome of this push You made for student leadership. I got too preoccupied. And now? Now permanent change has come to our student membership due to hidden wrongs that were found out by the police on a dark weekend night. The girl was right, and I hadn't listened with enough care to go into action. Would it have made a difference? Who can say now. But this I did today. I apologized to her. She needs to know that her words should not be taken lightly nor should they be ignored when they are the result of her time spent with You.