Peace I Leave with You...

It's not the first time and I doubt if it is the last that I say this on here: the enigmas in a dream are often the very link to God's purpose in giving that dream to one of His people.
I had one a couple of years ago with profound enigmas. It went like this:

I was at work, and it was a place where I worked then but don't now.

Enigma #1: I was there completely naked, except for the shoes I wore. Even my dream self found this a little odd, but no one else in the dream seemed to notice my bareness. I went through a variety of school-related activities, choosing curriculum with another teacher, wandering the halls, supervising things.

Enigma #2: at one point, I was offered a fabulous blue satin gown to wear, and it would indeed have covered my bareness, but I knew it was too fanciful for me to function properly while wearing it, and seeing that no one really noticed that I was naked anyway--I opted to remain unclothed. After that, I no longer paid any attention to my lack of attire.

Enigma #3: After a bit longer, I went toward a back door where I saw through a window that one of the portable buildings (the one that has housed High School Spanish and History classes) suddenly experienced an earthquake that upended it and dropped the Spanish side of it deep underground. Like the Titanic sinking, it tipped and dropped into the earth. I ran to find the high school secretary, searching for her on the playground which now housed a pavilion that wasn't there before. What's more, a lot more shade covered the grassy area than I remembered. These things struck me as differences from what I expected, but my main objective was to find the secretary, so I resumed my search for her. When I found her, though, she was too preoccupied with her concern for a young woman to get involved in the earthquake dilemma. So I went back to the offices of the main building and told them what I'd seen: "There was an earthquake out back and one of the portables is upended, surely demolished."

Enigma #4: Their response. The consensus in the main building was that if the earthquake didn't affect the permanent structure--that being the main building--then surely it wasn't that serious an issue, and no one went to investigate the woeful temporary structures on the edge of the woods. I was grieved that I could not convince anyone to take the situation seriously, but went on with my day, which took me to the school library.

Enigma #5: There I met God, who told me He was pleased that I announced what I saw, no matter what the response was. There, He rewarded me by giving me an even better pair of shoes, although I was still naked otherwise.

Obviously, the first (and probably most) bizarre part of the dream is that I was naked but for the shoes. For two years now, I've wondered about that dream. None of it seemed to resolve itself before I left my job there--and so I wondered if it were one of those dreams that doesn't really "mean" anything after all. I have, however, had enough "significant" dreams to know this one felt like it mattered, so I've never really forgotten it.

Now, after a year of renewing my health, teaching my children from home, dis-associating myself from so many of the things that were outside endeavors...now I look at next year and wonder what my calling is to be. I am healthy again. I've released that "unhealthy agreement" with my inner self that made achievement the definition of my worth even as it wore me down to nothing. So now what? Suddenly, new options line up before me, and I feel paralyzed. One thing I know--I could easily slip back into a bad place, where I dread every day either due to outside stress or threats to my physical and/or emotional health. How do I know which door to open? I am enjoying the freedom from that unhealthy agreement. How do I know I won't slap my signature down on it again without even thinking about it?

So I prayed. I prayed a lot. I went looking for people to pray for me...asking online friends I haven't talked to for a while, stopping friends I run into at the grocery store and outlining my prayer need, even though I may not have seen them in months. I mean everybody got asked to pray for me. I wasn't proud. This really mattered to me.

One of those online friends came back with a willing response to my prayer request and with the following cryptic word from God: "I'm hearing 'follow the peace'." This was what he said in response to my question about how to decide between multiple opportunities, not the least of which is to simply continue another year as I am. His words settled my mind, sounded like God and gave me a feeling things were on track, but didn't actually resolve anything. I didn't expect them to. I've walked this road with God long enough to know He leads step by step, by hedging in a certain direction, not by making a complete picture of the destination magically appear.

Another day, two similar events and a scripture in Isaiah gelled to lead me to hear God saying: "Remember I go before you, and ask Me to send my angels before you, too, even as you move forward at a proper pace. They've had your back, but now they need to go before." Such reassurance, such guidance always awes me! As usual, I'm all the more certain God has actually spoken to me simply because of the profound thankfulness it stirs in my heart!

Finally, today I was reading Eldredge's Walking with God and came across a section that pointed out the "need to bring the work of Christ" between the self and organizations, leaders, former bosses. For him, it was a specific place with which he needed to renounce his spiritual ties. I think for me it is more general--not one specific job, but rather my reasons for working for pay, this entirely is infected with a lack of peace and joy. So I prayed Eldredge's prayer, visualizing myself as an employee at large where he specified a place--although I must admit I "saw" the last place I worked as I prayed it. I thought of all the places I've worked. I considered Eldredge's claim that religious pride can infect a spiritual workplace and can affect everyone working there. That "spirit" as it is given free reign on the property can follow people even after they leave the place if they don't resist it intentionally. Interesting. I can see the same being possible with intolerance. With white sepulchre righteousness. No wonder work has felt burdensome. I've worked under all the conditions I described. Have I carried that weight along with me regarding work? I've certainly not intentionally put all that junk aside. So I prayed along with Eldredge the prayer he wrote:

I bring the full work of my Lord Jesus Christ--his cross and shed blood, his resurrection and his life, his authority, rule, and dominion--between me and this place (for me "the work place" at large), and between me and all the people there. Its officers and leadership and my former boss. I sever all spiritual ties between us, and I cancel any claims the enemy is making to me now because of my time spent there. I come out from under their authority. I consecrate my calling and my gifting to God. I cleanse my calling and gifting with the blood of Jesus Christ, to be holy and pure and filled with the Spirit of God alone. I keep the work of Christ between us and forbid these ties to be reformed. In the name and the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Immediately--and I mean immediately--that dream came back along with a scripture and the message from my friend, Michael, about following the peace. Here is the scripture:

Eph 6:15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

The dream came back as finally, finally offering a first glimmer of linkage to real life. Now I know that whenever I experience this series of events, the thing about my place in it is this: I will be the one with feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace. No wonder He said "follow the peace." He said it first to me, with the dream even before He repeated it through my friend, Michael. Even the repetition is a thing of God--as Joseph explained to Pharaoh so long ago. So while I don't know exactly what it all means, or how it will play out, I know this: I know it matters--matters enough that I had to wait two years to even begin to see it manifest in actual life; and when I follow this series of events prescribed in that dream the result for me will be: feet even more beautifully shod. How lovely to know now that it is about the gospel of peace! How wondrous to be led...