Back in February, I wrote about my spider visions. As is so often the case, the vision made itself a reality through both a reference to scripture and to another human life, brought beautifully alongside my own this time. My first look at the spider came with this entry: http://sdmen.blogspot.com/2008/02/spider-spider-burning-bright.html
Slowly, like melting snow, the pictures of glowing spiders and glowing dew on webs sank down into memory, until I came across these verses in Proverbs 30, which snapped them right back to the surface again:
24 There are four things which are little on the earth,
But they are exceedingly wise:
25 The ants are a people not strong,
Yet they prepare their food in the summer;
26 The [fn2] rock badgers are a feeble folk,
Yet they make their homes in the crags;
27 The locusts have no king,
Yet they all advance in ranks;
28 The [fn3] spider skillfully grasps with its hands,
And it is in kings' palaces.
(with footnote 3 saying that spider might also be interpreted lizard...a thing that will matter, too, shortly.)
I also found this verse:
Pro 19:12
The king's wrath [is] as the roaring of a lion; but his favour [is] as dew upon the grass.
So two things came from the images I saw...the glowing dew of the King's favor ont he web/home I weave and my placement in the domain of the King as a reaching spider being evidence of wisdom. These two verses suddenly gave perfect meaning to the weird images of glowing spiders and glowing dew on their webs.
But now, a new element is added, that has to do with the fact that the word spider could also be the word lizard...even that part now bears the fruit of meaning in my life...for I have a new friend that makes it real. As I realize so often, our God is not a God of waste, but of incredible efficiency. A couple of nights ago, a former co-worker who has also loomed large as a prayer partner in my life these last three years, he brought his new bride over to our house for dinner. We had brats, got the kids settled playing Tony Hawk or else riding bikes and then we adults went out to peruse the garden and sit on the swing set, enjoying a beautiful evening.
During the course of conversation, A. showed us the tattoo on her right calf that was of a large lizard...telling us that she'd been quite distressed--even to the point of tears--when she had it done, because despite the time she'd invested describing what she wanted, nevertheles the artist went off on a tangent of his own, even making footprints drag out behind the animal. She said it was too big and looked nothing like she'd asked to which he replied he'd decided to make it "more abstract."
I'm sharing this verse about the spider with her. It hits me that this verse makes us "sisters" before You in such a personal and playful way--from my spider-dreams to her tattoo--I'm reminded what a fun God You are...how ingenious, how transformational, making that which seems a "degrading" offense to the body into a mark of Your chuckling approval "...to him that believes."
Thank You for being like that, God! Help me be more like You in the way I view such things.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
The Warrior's Training Begins
Where did the warrior expect to go with this wild-girl for a guide?
In days long gone, he'd come to expect
events run a-strange
in this quest for leadership and victory.
So when the girl took him, first
to a rock-bumped savanna,
and when she straight away
stretched her frame along a hot flat rock
and began to doze to the buzz of insects,
he was not in the least surprised.
As she slept, he watched
the hyrax at play.
In and out of rock holes,
first one then several
soon upwards of forty, all
sunning themselves on flat rocks
(like the woman.)
Blunt little noses touched together,
nibblings of bitter wild herbs,
whisking of back fur in a breeze.
At times, the small creatures would freeze as
some mysterious gauge
within them perceived danger,
often as he would change position,
or whenever the woman would sigh in her sleep.
He laughed once, which woke the woman,
for one rock rabbit made mock war on another.
The would-be victim twittered hearty reprimands.
"They can shriek if their ire is up,"
the woman spoke
bvut her words were still full of sleep.
"Have you had your fill of watching the hyrax play?"
He considered her visage, then asked.
"I don't know, have I?"
She laughed then, too, now full awake.
"Come, we have other things to see.
I would show you something of a city now."
She took him to a inland sea
where a small boat floated, docked.
And they rowed that boat to an island
--one appearing about 7 miles in its coastline circumference--
but she led him to the island interior.
Where still, he saw no city.
"Where is this City?" he finally asked.
"Beneath us," she said, spreading her arms wide
opening to his attention
the many clay sculptures that surrounded them--
weird shapes
like monstrous drops of clay or
random-fallen plaster dobs in some giant's palace.
Then he saw one of these strange towers
give up an inhabitant,
a tiny ant.
"What's this?" he asked.
"A supercolony. Very rare,"
She answered.
"tens of thousands of nests,
with millions of workers
and a few million queens--
all here under our feet.
Rooms for storing their food, tending their young--
yet our world takes no notice.
Do you think these industrious creatures--
given their empire here--
should be surprised
that we take no notice?"
She shrugged.
"But you'll remember them, no?"
They did not disturb the skyscraper city of ants,
but before they left the island, they paused on the beach
where they swam and cooked fish
and enjoyed the space-giving peace of the sand
and the renewal of the dune grasses.
It was there that he began to wonder if
he'd not be sitting under the tutelage
of a human voice at all in this adventure.
The next day, she took him to a place
that bore no outstanding feature
save a strange hum, a nervous energy
spangling the air all round.
But as they took their mid-day meal,
in a grove of trees quite pleasant,
just then,
she suddenly, cried out,"Wait--"
and clutched his arm. "Wait, it is about to begin."
The nervous pulsing that was no pulsing at all
rose in tenor, he noticed--
a clamorous timbre ill-defined swelled with driven energy.
When suddenly, bursting forth from the treetops
a swarm of locusts rose
making of the trees strange molting creatures,
but negatively, for here it is the husk that takes flight.
And soon appeared a flinty tip on a gigantic arrowhead
shot from an invisible bow.
"Watch them," she said, needlessly,
for he could do little else
but gape at that sparkle-wing cloud issuing forth
from above their heads,
moving toward a distant horizon.
Then the maiden returned to nibbling her bread
and with a scholarly turn, said
"Those who study such things say there is a trigger for the swarming."
"Obviously," the man responded. "Do these studious ones know what that trigger is?"
She nodded and swallowed.
"They think they do.
Overcrowding."
"Overcrowding? How do the creatures determine such a thing
as overcrowding?
Is a signal sent by some master locust?"
"They say most likely
their legs crushing against each other.
This makes a trigger,
and not the call of a singular leader.
Some number of contacts-made is the magic number,
and they fly."
"Amazing..." the man mused.
Tossing aside the hard end of crust,
she said, "Come I'll take you to visit a real palace now."
In days long gone, he'd come to expect
events run a-strange
in this quest for leadership and victory.
So when the girl took him, first
to a rock-bumped savanna,
and when she straight away
stretched her frame along a hot flat rock
and began to doze to the buzz of insects,
he was not in the least surprised.
As she slept, he watched
the hyrax at play.
In and out of rock holes,
first one then several
soon upwards of forty, all
sunning themselves on flat rocks
(like the woman.)
Blunt little noses touched together,
nibblings of bitter wild herbs,
whisking of back fur in a breeze.
At times, the small creatures would freeze as
some mysterious gauge
within them perceived danger,
often as he would change position,
or whenever the woman would sigh in her sleep.
He laughed once, which woke the woman,
for one rock rabbit made mock war on another.
The would-be victim twittered hearty reprimands.
"They can shriek if their ire is up,"
the woman spoke
bvut her words were still full of sleep.
"Have you had your fill of watching the hyrax play?"
He considered her visage, then asked.
"I don't know, have I?"
She laughed then, too, now full awake.
"Come, we have other things to see.
I would show you something of a city now."
She took him to a inland sea
where a small boat floated, docked.
And they rowed that boat to an island
--one appearing about 7 miles in its coastline circumference--
but she led him to the island interior.
Where still, he saw no city.
"Where is this City?" he finally asked.
"Beneath us," she said, spreading her arms wide
opening to his attention
the many clay sculptures that surrounded them--
weird shapes
like monstrous drops of clay or
random-fallen plaster dobs in some giant's palace.
Then he saw one of these strange towers
give up an inhabitant,
a tiny ant.
"What's this?" he asked.
"A supercolony. Very rare,"
She answered.
"tens of thousands of nests,
with millions of workers
and a few million queens--
all here under our feet.
Rooms for storing their food, tending their young--
yet our world takes no notice.
Do you think these industrious creatures--
given their empire here--
should be surprised
that we take no notice?"
She shrugged.
"But you'll remember them, no?"
They did not disturb the skyscraper city of ants,
but before they left the island, they paused on the beach
where they swam and cooked fish
and enjoyed the space-giving peace of the sand
and the renewal of the dune grasses.
It was there that he began to wonder if
he'd not be sitting under the tutelage
of a human voice at all in this adventure.
The next day, she took him to a place
that bore no outstanding feature
save a strange hum, a nervous energy
spangling the air all round.
But as they took their mid-day meal,
in a grove of trees quite pleasant,
just then,
she suddenly, cried out,"Wait--"
and clutched his arm. "Wait, it is about to begin."
The nervous pulsing that was no pulsing at all
rose in tenor, he noticed--
a clamorous timbre ill-defined swelled with driven energy.
When suddenly, bursting forth from the treetops
a swarm of locusts rose
making of the trees strange molting creatures,
but negatively, for here it is the husk that takes flight.
And soon appeared a flinty tip on a gigantic arrowhead
shot from an invisible bow.
"Watch them," she said, needlessly,
for he could do little else
but gape at that sparkle-wing cloud issuing forth
from above their heads,
moving toward a distant horizon.
Then the maiden returned to nibbling her bread
and with a scholarly turn, said
"Those who study such things say there is a trigger for the swarming."
"Obviously," the man responded. "Do these studious ones know what that trigger is?"
She nodded and swallowed.
"They think they do.
Overcrowding."
"Overcrowding? How do the creatures determine such a thing
as overcrowding?
Is a signal sent by some master locust?"
"They say most likely
their legs crushing against each other.
This makes a trigger,
and not the call of a singular leader.
Some number of contacts-made is the magic number,
and they fly."
"Amazing..." the man mused.
Tossing aside the hard end of crust,
she said, "Come I'll take you to visit a real palace now."
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
The Warrior's Tale Resumes
Ascending from the mountain's belly,
like an arctic butterfly
from its cocoon,
the man left the cave to descend from lands frozen
to the plains of the seven streams,
where the mountain released its ice for water.
As the ground below went from steep to level
and the air above from bracing bare to aromatic
he found the boggy grounds where the streams took their passage,
and where the crushed mountain stone floated
powdered pewter
in the icy waters of the deeper streams.
He realized that
for the first time
in a long time,
he had occasion to think not only on being a man of war,
but also on being a man of prayer.
Few questions presented themselves
but what immediate answers were made plain
in the days when he raised the child.
But the boy was near grown now,
and nigh as much a child of the woods
as had been the Queen and her Beloved before him.
Some place within the man died to the task of raising that child,
making even more room for his warrior-self to be re-born.
But with all life-changes come
the questions.
"Which am I to choose? When these streams divide, which one do I follow?"
And the water seemed to gurgle back at him,
"Just keep walking."
"Sound advice," he answered the stream without reserve,
for he was a man now quite adept
at making inquiry and interchange
with all creation.
He walked, and the streams ran along together
for a very long time.
Though the waters of the seven streams neither spread nor shallowed,
not so the waters of his drinking skin.
They dwindled away until their housing
hung empty and flat against his back.
So, he looked about him for a place to re-fill it.
Spying a stone well, he thought--
"How like the gracious God of the Boy's and the Queen's people,
indeed the God of my prayers
to make provision for my needs."
Hanging from a peg on the stone wall of that well
was an earthen ladle, while
alongside sat a wooden bucket on a braided cord.
The water he drew up was cold and bright,
making the clay ladle gleam a silvered rainbow
in its dripping;
but the water was troubled, bitter.
The water was corrupt.
And his sureness of things evaporated a little.
"What now?" asked a chiming voice,
one just at his shoulder.
So consumed had he been with this providential resource--
this well--
that he'd missed entirely the approach of this maiden
until she breathed on his neck and spoke to him directly.
He was never more removed from being a warrior than now,
in his own estimation.
He looked at her freely,
as his shame had quick burned off
any indifference per chance prescribed
by pride.
Dressed in leather he likened to his water skin,
and with hair like fibres of ice and gold
that did clamour for space in the mountain air,
and with eyes like falling stars caught up again
to heaven's heights--
she repeated,
"Hast thou been confounded by water before?"
"Once," he answered, remembering his thirst in the desert
so many years before.
"I found a strange woman then, too," he mused.
She laughed. "But I'm not strange. I've been sent to you."
"I hope whoever sent you sent water, too," he muttered.
"I prayed for water and this pit of bitterness is all I got."
She tipped her head to one side and observed,
"Nay, you prayed for water; and I am what you got."
He grinned despite himself.
"Then, lass, what would you advise me?
I came to this well with this thought:
another has passed this way before me,
one who dug the pit, encased its mouth in stone,
gave a bucket for the drawing, a dipper for its drinking.
And all for naught but a mean joke?
Cruel effort if so, in my estimate.
Who is the man that would not but take such trouble
only for the good water?"
She nodded. "Twas water once good, indeed,
in the day of the well's founding.
But not all that starts good, stays good.
Your assumptions are contradicted by this--"
She dipped again the clay ladle
in the waters of the bucket.
"The oily silver hangs behind, hugs the clay to show
the water's dross afloat, invisible
but for when and where it hugs the clay."
Elbow to knee,
she looked up from a place of place squatting before him.
"Why did you not take yourself water from the seven streams?"
He moaned the lament that had driven him to the well in the first place.
"But which one to choose?"
She smiled,
and her eyes went a-sparkle like wind chimes in the sun.
"What says ye choose?"
He stared at her a moment.
Then purposefully
he went to each stream,
across the boggy marsh grasses
firmly setting sole to kiss each hospitable stepping stones,
taking patronage from each stream's bounty,
seven portions
until the bag was full.
When he returned,
she held the bitter cistern's ladle
so he poured from the bag, and they drank
waters sweet as honey.
Then the maiden put her hands on her hips and laughed,
her mouth open wide to the sky.
"Now I will tell you what you seem to already know.
You are a warrior in training, are you not?"
Surprised by this astuteness,
the man recalled former times,
and with the memory swelled a jarring new-wisdom:
in his own days of yore, he would remind others of his stature,
while now others came to remind him.
He simply nodded.
"In a multitude of counselors is safety, man who would make war," she quoted,
casting her gaze across each stream singularly.
And as she considered the waters,
he considered her, and believed
that every nuance of the taste of the combined waters
she could dissect and attribute
to the stream of its origin.
"Sweet Water--for that is what I shall call you
as you have offered me no alternate name for your personage--
Sweet Water, do you know where these counsellors might be found
who would train me well for war?" he asked
almost playfully.
What a different thrust in his quest
for apprenticeship this was
from that of his first visit
to the land of the Queen.
"I do know where to lead you!" she said heartily.
And taking a small timber from the ground litter
she stomped a break,
gave him half
and whipped the other half upright for herself,
a flourish that made a piece of tree-death
magically a steadying force.
Planting this newly born walking stick
one stride ahead of her feet,
she said,
"Come."
like an arctic butterfly
from its cocoon,
the man left the cave to descend from lands frozen
to the plains of the seven streams,
where the mountain released its ice for water.
As the ground below went from steep to level
and the air above from bracing bare to aromatic
he found the boggy grounds where the streams took their passage,
and where the crushed mountain stone floated
powdered pewter
in the icy waters of the deeper streams.
He realized that
for the first time
in a long time,
he had occasion to think not only on being a man of war,
but also on being a man of prayer.
Few questions presented themselves
but what immediate answers were made plain
in the days when he raised the child.
But the boy was near grown now,
and nigh as much a child of the woods
as had been the Queen and her Beloved before him.
Some place within the man died to the task of raising that child,
making even more room for his warrior-self to be re-born.
But with all life-changes come
the questions.
"Which am I to choose? When these streams divide, which one do I follow?"
And the water seemed to gurgle back at him,
"Just keep walking."
"Sound advice," he answered the stream without reserve,
for he was a man now quite adept
at making inquiry and interchange
with all creation.
He walked, and the streams ran along together
for a very long time.
Though the waters of the seven streams neither spread nor shallowed,
not so the waters of his drinking skin.
They dwindled away until their housing
hung empty and flat against his back.
So, he looked about him for a place to re-fill it.
Spying a stone well, he thought--
"How like the gracious God of the Boy's and the Queen's people,
indeed the God of my prayers
to make provision for my needs."
Hanging from a peg on the stone wall of that well
was an earthen ladle, while
alongside sat a wooden bucket on a braided cord.
The water he drew up was cold and bright,
making the clay ladle gleam a silvered rainbow
in its dripping;
but the water was troubled, bitter.
The water was corrupt.
And his sureness of things evaporated a little.
"What now?" asked a chiming voice,
one just at his shoulder.
So consumed had he been with this providential resource--
this well--
that he'd missed entirely the approach of this maiden
until she breathed on his neck and spoke to him directly.
He was never more removed from being a warrior than now,
in his own estimation.
He looked at her freely,
as his shame had quick burned off
any indifference per chance prescribed
by pride.
Dressed in leather he likened to his water skin,
and with hair like fibres of ice and gold
that did clamour for space in the mountain air,
and with eyes like falling stars caught up again
to heaven's heights--
she repeated,
"Hast thou been confounded by water before?"
"Once," he answered, remembering his thirst in the desert
so many years before.
"I found a strange woman then, too," he mused.
She laughed. "But I'm not strange. I've been sent to you."
"I hope whoever sent you sent water, too," he muttered.
"I prayed for water and this pit of bitterness is all I got."
She tipped her head to one side and observed,
"Nay, you prayed for water; and I am what you got."
He grinned despite himself.
"Then, lass, what would you advise me?
I came to this well with this thought:
another has passed this way before me,
one who dug the pit, encased its mouth in stone,
gave a bucket for the drawing, a dipper for its drinking.
And all for naught but a mean joke?
Cruel effort if so, in my estimate.
Who is the man that would not but take such trouble
only for the good water?"
She nodded. "Twas water once good, indeed,
in the day of the well's founding.
But not all that starts good, stays good.
Your assumptions are contradicted by this--"
She dipped again the clay ladle
in the waters of the bucket.
"The oily silver hangs behind, hugs the clay to show
the water's dross afloat, invisible
but for when and where it hugs the clay."
Elbow to knee,
she looked up from a place of place squatting before him.
"Why did you not take yourself water from the seven streams?"
He moaned the lament that had driven him to the well in the first place.
"But which one to choose?"
She smiled,
and her eyes went a-sparkle like wind chimes in the sun.
"What says ye choose?"
He stared at her a moment.
Then purposefully
he went to each stream,
across the boggy marsh grasses
firmly setting sole to kiss each hospitable stepping stones,
taking patronage from each stream's bounty,
seven portions
until the bag was full.
When he returned,
she held the bitter cistern's ladle
so he poured from the bag, and they drank
waters sweet as honey.
Then the maiden put her hands on her hips and laughed,
her mouth open wide to the sky.
"Now I will tell you what you seem to already know.
You are a warrior in training, are you not?"
Surprised by this astuteness,
the man recalled former times,
and with the memory swelled a jarring new-wisdom:
in his own days of yore, he would remind others of his stature,
while now others came to remind him.
He simply nodded.
"In a multitude of counselors is safety, man who would make war," she quoted,
casting her gaze across each stream singularly.
And as she considered the waters,
he considered her, and believed
that every nuance of the taste of the combined waters
she could dissect and attribute
to the stream of its origin.
"Sweet Water--for that is what I shall call you
as you have offered me no alternate name for your personage--
Sweet Water, do you know where these counsellors might be found
who would train me well for war?" he asked
almost playfully.
What a different thrust in his quest
for apprenticeship this was
from that of his first visit
to the land of the Queen.
"I do know where to lead you!" she said heartily.
And taking a small timber from the ground litter
she stomped a break,
gave him half
and whipped the other half upright for herself,
a flourish that made a piece of tree-death
magically a steadying force.
Planting this newly born walking stick
one stride ahead of her feet,
she said,
"Come."
Sunday, June 01, 2008
To thine own self be true
Summer break from school and what do I do? I take the kids to the library to register them for the summer reading program. While there, I check out my own summer reading fare: books on gardening tips, folklore and nearly-lost artisan skills, dried flower arranging, and on the more practical side, a book meant to inspire me to rise to the occasion of organizing our home, disorganization being an ever-encroaching foe in our world. Why even as I sit here, I see things at this home-office station that don't really need to be here: a half-burned pumpkin-scented candle, my son's spray can of Axe deodorant, an empty can of Hawaiian Punch, fruit juicy red flavor, a little grey pencil that looks to have been inadvertently taken from bin at a put-put golf place...no wonder I need a book for inspiration!
But I know myself well enough to recognize those lengths of orderliness where I will most assuredly fall short. For instance, I know what I won't do:
But I know myself well enough to recognize those lengths of orderliness where I will most assuredly fall short. For instance, I know what I won't do:
- buy a rainbow of plastic hangers so I can color-code what's hanging in my closet.
- tag all my tablecloths (All? That would be 3 of them) with labels to identify them by size and color.
- display my rolled washcloths (again maybe 3 of them unless you count the shop towels we sometimes use in place of them) on a decorative platter (despite the fact that all of them would fit on the one tray, and the thought of that is a bit inspiring.)
- rearrange my closet so that light colors hang in the back corners, thereby giving the area a more spacious appearance.
- buy a notebook in which to keep an inventory of all of my dishes, with sub-notes regarding their condition: what is chipped, cracked, etc; nor will I set said "dishes" out to determine whether to keep them or toss them based on whether the sight of them gracing my table causes me to smile (I'm thinking here of say my green Tupperware bowl that often doubles as a serving dish given that as often as not I don't feel like washing both a storage and a serving bowl, for heaven's sake!)
I think these recommendations presume a lifestyle not in keeping with my own. The book is not, however, a total waste of reading time, because what I find in its pages that I might do is:
- use the instructions given for washing vintage fabrics such as the baby quilt my great-grandma left me.
- find the inspiration to have necklace and pin clasps fixed and to reorganize my jewelry box.
- outfit the closet with storage bins to replace the high shelving where I keep my stacks of sweaters. For years, those sweaters have been wont to slide in a heap onto my head whenever I reach for any one of them, yet I've never thought to do anything but scoop them all up and throw them back up there.
And, what I certainly hope to do:
- take everything from junk drawers and shelves, dump it all in a box, put it in the center of the living room and announce: take what you want by midnight tomorrow. After that, I'm getting rid of what's left!
Friday, May 30, 2008
The Beloved and the Bride
The Warrior's tale resumes
Preface
...given as something of an ode to Obed, who begat Jesse, who begat David--but who first had an aged grandmother, one who by strange providence brought his mother to join the people of God. What lengths, O God, will you take. This is a wonder and a thing of joy.
Thank you, that when I look at that melting glacier, I think to ask: how far away is the flower that will be watered by that molecule of water I see sparkling in the sun?
And this wonder only considered as it is inspired by the likes of such wisdom poetry as is found in Job 38: 22, 28, and 29
Hast thou entered into the treasures of the snow? or hast thou seen the treasures of the hail...
Hath the rain a father? or who hath begotten the drops of dew?
Out of whose womb came the ice? and the hoary frost of heaven, who hath gendered it?
So the story continues:
Though a practiced wayfarer, his appearance still raises questions
as he has become as legendary as was the land he once sought.
But that was many years before this day.
Now it is he that is spoken of in wide-eyed whispers...
How long did this man walk in the rain?
And, where did he find the cave of miracles?
Was it on high ground, where the permafrost crackles?
Where for so many generations has the frost of heaven lain.
Was it where billow crashes upon billow, unrelenting?
Where for so many generations has the deep been strong.
Was it in that enigmatic place where restraint flaps loosely while the remnant dragons soar?
Where for so many generations emptiness has hung full of stars,
stars whose birth names only God knows.
(For was it ever really given to man to name such as these after all?)
How long did the man follow the shining line?
One foot in the water; one on the land
and the sparkle between....
And always back to this: where did he find that cave of miracles?
But find it he did, and kept its secrets.
(To his credit, if the path were so easily shared,
wouldn't we all go down it?)
Some say twas but a child that served to guide him,
leaving him only when he went crawling into the cold recesses.
You must be born again--of water and spirit,
he heard the wind hiss behind him,
outside that narrow cavern.
Born again--
one said to be first the offspring
of father rain,
and mother ice,
now predestined for new birth.
And if new birth, then certainly new life as well.
He wondered what its complexion would be.
He thought on such things
until he found that womb of ancient fore-telling;
and it was a room where alcoves glittered
in strange ethereal light
and concave rocks cradled morsels reflective,
gems of ice, clear and bright.
He ran his hands through them
like a pirate would his doubloons.
And the mother who received these wind-blown nuggets
that landed by design within her, who would birth them
into mountain streams--
she whispered to him there:
Before the depths of waters,
yea, before the fountains flashing
Before the likes of these small promises were given,
I was brought forth.
And--now that I am soon to be flesh of their flesh
in that great day of melting--
Now I ask of you:
shall I send forth my little rivers
on your behalf?
And he ran his fingers through the crystals,
knowing the answer he gave would be a far greater strain
than any he'd known finding his way here.
He looked in the place of the unseen,
and there he saw even his arm become as ice.
Patiently, she'd waited,
preserving these hidden ice-diamonds
for the day of his arrival.
Patiently, she waited still
for the moment of his answer.
All the years he'd thought to be a warrior
and all the years there after, when he'd forgotten as much...
both lives reflected up at him--
the palaces they could have haunted, could even still
these were a multitude of faces glittering in his hand.
When finally, he was ready, his face showed his suprise,
for he discovered his destiny had always been
that of a warrior after all.
He lifted his gaze from the prisms of light in his hand,
ready to give her an answer.
"Make it so," he said.
Preface
...given as something of an ode to Obed, who begat Jesse, who begat David--but who first had an aged grandmother, one who by strange providence brought his mother to join the people of God. What lengths, O God, will you take. This is a wonder and a thing of joy.
Thank you, that when I look at that melting glacier, I think to ask: how far away is the flower that will be watered by that molecule of water I see sparkling in the sun?
And this wonder only considered as it is inspired by the likes of such wisdom poetry as is found in Job 38: 22, 28, and 29
Hast thou entered into the treasures of the snow? or hast thou seen the treasures of the hail...
Hath the rain a father? or who hath begotten the drops of dew?
Out of whose womb came the ice? and the hoary frost of heaven, who hath gendered it?
So the story continues:
Though a practiced wayfarer, his appearance still raises questions
as he has become as legendary as was the land he once sought.
But that was many years before this day.
Now it is he that is spoken of in wide-eyed whispers...
How long did this man walk in the rain?
And, where did he find the cave of miracles?
Was it on high ground, where the permafrost crackles?
Where for so many generations has the frost of heaven lain.
Was it where billow crashes upon billow, unrelenting?
Where for so many generations has the deep been strong.
Was it in that enigmatic place where restraint flaps loosely while the remnant dragons soar?
Where for so many generations emptiness has hung full of stars,
stars whose birth names only God knows.
(For was it ever really given to man to name such as these after all?)
How long did the man follow the shining line?
One foot in the water; one on the land
and the sparkle between....
And always back to this: where did he find that cave of miracles?
But find it he did, and kept its secrets.
(To his credit, if the path were so easily shared,
wouldn't we all go down it?)
Some say twas but a child that served to guide him,
leaving him only when he went crawling into the cold recesses.
You must be born again--of water and spirit,
he heard the wind hiss behind him,
outside that narrow cavern.
Born again--
one said to be first the offspring
of father rain,
and mother ice,
now predestined for new birth.
And if new birth, then certainly new life as well.
He wondered what its complexion would be.
He thought on such things
until he found that womb of ancient fore-telling;
and it was a room where alcoves glittered
in strange ethereal light
and concave rocks cradled morsels reflective,
gems of ice, clear and bright.
He ran his hands through them
like a pirate would his doubloons.
And the mother who received these wind-blown nuggets
that landed by design within her, who would birth them
into mountain streams--
she whispered to him there:
Before the depths of waters,
yea, before the fountains flashing
Before the likes of these small promises were given,
I was brought forth.
And--now that I am soon to be flesh of their flesh
in that great day of melting--
Now I ask of you:
shall I send forth my little rivers
on your behalf?
And he ran his fingers through the crystals,
knowing the answer he gave would be a far greater strain
than any he'd known finding his way here.
He looked in the place of the unseen,
and there he saw even his arm become as ice.
Patiently, she'd waited,
preserving these hidden ice-diamonds
for the day of his arrival.
Patiently, she waited still
for the moment of his answer.
All the years he'd thought to be a warrior
and all the years there after, when he'd forgotten as much...
both lives reflected up at him--
the palaces they could have haunted, could even still
these were a multitude of faces glittering in his hand.
When finally, he was ready, his face showed his suprise,
for he discovered his destiny had always been
that of a warrior after all.
He lifted his gaze from the prisms of light in his hand,
ready to give her an answer.
"Make it so," he said.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
On Having Conversations with God...
He spoke first, because in these things, He always speaks first. And for this woman, He starts most conversations with a dream:
My Kingdom is like this even as it becomes the kingdom of this world, it is like a woman who stands visiting most companionably with another woman who in real life is but a mere acquaintance. In the dream, the two of them are standing in a kitchen where this acquaintenance-become-friend has been preparing food, when suddenly the dreamer's body becomes as a fountain and begins spraying water everywhere. The dreamer says to the woman cooking, "This will never do because these coats will get wet if they stay in here with me." Indeed, a coatrack on wheels with many uniform coats hanging along both its poles stands in the middle of the room. So the woman and her friend decide to move the coats into an adjoining room, one they can see through an interior window. So they do move the coats, and then they peer through the window to see the state of the coats in their new environment. The coats remain dry in this other room, so the women are satisfied with their work.
More things happened after these events in this dream, but for now it is enough to say that the woman assumed what she always assumes when these conversations begin: she assumed that when the time came for her to understand the parable, the conversation would resume.
So months went by and the woman practically forgot the dream that started this particular interaction, until one day, He came whispering in her ear:
Have you noticed that you have "strangely" come to be deep prayer partners with this very woman I showed you in that dream some time ago? This very day you are "there" in the place where the vision and the reality meet.
And the dreamer caught her breath, in a sudden flash remembering the dream and realizing that a marker in time had been inserted into both the dream and her life, a marker in the form of this friendship with this woman. So she returned to the dream, visiting it again in her mind. She asked friends to pray with her, even this very woman. Also, she prayed for herself:
Oh, God. Help me know how I am to live this next part. How am I to know what these coats are? What is the water that issues forth from me? What do I do as this parable moves into reality?
So He led her to verses:
Psa 36:9
For with thee [is] the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light.
Pro 13:14
The law of the wise [is] a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.
Pro 14:27
The fear of the LORD [is] a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.
Rev 21:6
And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.
And she began to realize that the water was wisdom that would issue forth from her, and it was how she would be for a gift and a judgment somehow, but these were yet beyond her ability to measure.
All the more she prayed:
Oh, God, what are the coats, for they come next? How am I to know when I move them? And, I must know what they are before I can move forward?
And He said, "You need to know more than that, for you are not yet fully aware of the part about the water. First you must understand more than just what the water is, but also how it is in you."
So the dreamer stopped trying to race forward, remembering the stress-free leisure of her God, and she began to study more on the water. She began to meditate the life that is not just a fountain but also a gift. She thought of herself and what might be the value she carried to the One who would give such a gift, and slowly she began to see where she is still lacking--for in a word, her definition of "gift" was marred. Her husband has told her this many times, but only now does she begin to see it for herself: she is a woman who feels "unworthy" of gifts unless they somehow benefit others as well as herself; or she is uncomfortable receiving them unless they are simply the giving of something she would need to get anyway, a survival item, that can be "called" a gift because it comes at a time when a gift is most commonly deemed fitting, a holiday or birthday, etc. So she begins to consider what it would be like to receive a gift that needed no other benefit than to please her, no secondary gain for anyone else. And the thought was a wonder to her, even as she questioned whether such consideration meant she was opening an agreement with selfishness in her heart. So she said this to her God:
You are right. I do need to consider more deeply what it means for me to be a fountain. This is a blind spot for me. Am I turning toward You or away from You in this train of thought? The sense I got in the dream was that I was nearly bursting with the water. I could not contain it, nor even direct its flow because I was so full to overflowing with that water. I was not so much a channel for the water to flow through as a container under pressure from which it had no choice but to spray. If something were to be "exempt" from receiving the wisdom that would issue forth from me like water, then the only option was to completely remove it from my presence. Is that right, God? Am I on the right track?
And that very night as the dreamer sat reading before going to bed, she happened upon the following quote, which was His confirmation and answer to her question, in the words of both the dream He gave her and of Bernard of Clairvaux:
If you are wise, you will show yourself rather as a reservoir than a canal. A canal spreads abroad water as it receives it, but a reservoir waits until it is filled before overflowing, and thus without loss to itself [it shares] its superabundant waters."
So today she waits as the reservoir fills, and in the meantime, considers some of the many other conversations between herself and her God.
My Kingdom is like this even as it becomes the kingdom of this world, it is like a woman who stands visiting most companionably with another woman who in real life is but a mere acquaintance. In the dream, the two of them are standing in a kitchen where this acquaintenance-become-friend has been preparing food, when suddenly the dreamer's body becomes as a fountain and begins spraying water everywhere. The dreamer says to the woman cooking, "This will never do because these coats will get wet if they stay in here with me." Indeed, a coatrack on wheels with many uniform coats hanging along both its poles stands in the middle of the room. So the woman and her friend decide to move the coats into an adjoining room, one they can see through an interior window. So they do move the coats, and then they peer through the window to see the state of the coats in their new environment. The coats remain dry in this other room, so the women are satisfied with their work.
More things happened after these events in this dream, but for now it is enough to say that the woman assumed what she always assumes when these conversations begin: she assumed that when the time came for her to understand the parable, the conversation would resume.
So months went by and the woman practically forgot the dream that started this particular interaction, until one day, He came whispering in her ear:
Have you noticed that you have "strangely" come to be deep prayer partners with this very woman I showed you in that dream some time ago? This very day you are "there" in the place where the vision and the reality meet.
And the dreamer caught her breath, in a sudden flash remembering the dream and realizing that a marker in time had been inserted into both the dream and her life, a marker in the form of this friendship with this woman. So she returned to the dream, visiting it again in her mind. She asked friends to pray with her, even this very woman. Also, she prayed for herself:
Oh, God. Help me know how I am to live this next part. How am I to know what these coats are? What is the water that issues forth from me? What do I do as this parable moves into reality?
So He led her to verses:
Psa 36:9
For with thee [is] the fountain of life: in thy light shall we see light.
Pro 13:14
The law of the wise [is] a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.
Pro 14:27
The fear of the LORD [is] a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.
Rev 21:6
And he said unto me, It is done. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely.
And she began to realize that the water was wisdom that would issue forth from her, and it was how she would be for a gift and a judgment somehow, but these were yet beyond her ability to measure.
All the more she prayed:
Oh, God, what are the coats, for they come next? How am I to know when I move them? And, I must know what they are before I can move forward?
And He said, "You need to know more than that, for you are not yet fully aware of the part about the water. First you must understand more than just what the water is, but also how it is in you."
So the dreamer stopped trying to race forward, remembering the stress-free leisure of her God, and she began to study more on the water. She began to meditate the life that is not just a fountain but also a gift. She thought of herself and what might be the value she carried to the One who would give such a gift, and slowly she began to see where she is still lacking--for in a word, her definition of "gift" was marred. Her husband has told her this many times, but only now does she begin to see it for herself: she is a woman who feels "unworthy" of gifts unless they somehow benefit others as well as herself; or she is uncomfortable receiving them unless they are simply the giving of something she would need to get anyway, a survival item, that can be "called" a gift because it comes at a time when a gift is most commonly deemed fitting, a holiday or birthday, etc. So she begins to consider what it would be like to receive a gift that needed no other benefit than to please her, no secondary gain for anyone else. And the thought was a wonder to her, even as she questioned whether such consideration meant she was opening an agreement with selfishness in her heart. So she said this to her God:
You are right. I do need to consider more deeply what it means for me to be a fountain. This is a blind spot for me. Am I turning toward You or away from You in this train of thought? The sense I got in the dream was that I was nearly bursting with the water. I could not contain it, nor even direct its flow because I was so full to overflowing with that water. I was not so much a channel for the water to flow through as a container under pressure from which it had no choice but to spray. If something were to be "exempt" from receiving the wisdom that would issue forth from me like water, then the only option was to completely remove it from my presence. Is that right, God? Am I on the right track?
And that very night as the dreamer sat reading before going to bed, she happened upon the following quote, which was His confirmation and answer to her question, in the words of both the dream He gave her and of Bernard of Clairvaux:
If you are wise, you will show yourself rather as a reservoir than a canal. A canal spreads abroad water as it receives it, but a reservoir waits until it is filled before overflowing, and thus without loss to itself [it shares] its superabundant waters."
So today she waits as the reservoir fills, and in the meantime, considers some of the many other conversations between herself and her God.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Strength Renewed
My eldest son finished college for the summer on Friday, so he came home from his first year of college with the help of my husband who went to collect him and all his gear. My son's best friend also finished his first year of college this weekend, and my husband collected him and his gear too as their separate universities were on a straight trajectory from our home. I spoke to hubby on the phone as he was driving home and the two boys were tooling along behind in my son's beater Olds.
"I hope I stay conscious until I get there," said my husband.
Alarmed, I asked what he meant.
"I'm wedged in here so tightly with all this junk I can only take very shallow breathes, and I'm afraid I'll pass out," he said dryly. But all made it home safe and sound.
Now this weekend in our home are resting these two boys, my other two younger sons, my husband and one of his own best friends from his youth--yes, all of them are in our abode this weekend. A monsoon of testosterone. But so far I'm really enjoying watching the boys be boys, bickering about sports and politics and the economy... All I have to do is now and then throw out a stern, "Don't you tear up my throw pillows!" when they're wrestling as I write the grocery shopping list for stuff like brats and charcoal. All I have to do is holler "Don't forget we have church tomorrow!" as the four older ones head out the door for a father and adult-son type of night out, and I find I can hold my own alright.
Today, though, when we went to church, I was reminded once more how much we unwittingly influence the lives of others. I'm speaking of my oldest son's best friend and the influence I've had on his life. Maybe it was because my son's friend became his friend at my unction--as I was 7th-grade math teacher to both of them and thought they'd make good friends for each other, even though at the time they were half-appalled at my suggestion and didn't see my perspective on it at all; they were both 12 at the time. Maybe it was because this boy then ended up being a large part of our family's life and of my son's life from then on. Maybe it was because today is very nearly Mother's Day and is also near to this young man's own years-estranged mother's birthday. Maybe is was because of bits and pieces of all of these, but whatever the "because" might be, as we sang songs of worship standing there in the softly lit sanctuary, as I swayed and sang and smiled to God, I suddenly found myself pulled into an embrace. Surprised, I looked up and found this one so nearly like another son to me had tears streaming down his face as he impulsively grabbed me in that bear hug...a thing all the more poignant seeing he is a rather reserved young man generally speaking.
I've had a surprised sort of warmth in my heart all afternoon. When I consider all the young men I've known in my adult life--and that's a considerable number since I've spent my whole career-life teaching kids--of all of this parade of young men, I've never met one so pervasively afflicted with hardship and rejection over many years, well near all the years of his life. Never have I known one so stripped of the things most people consider to be psychological/spiritual necessities for a sane life. But he is not bitter, and he is not resentful. He does not go mysteriously out of his way to defeat himself, and so he beats the odds; for this young man isn't doing all the things statistics say he "should" be doing, rather he is moved to tears when given the opportunity to be alongside an almost-mom of his when she stands worshipping her God. And I know that while he is unique, he is certainly not completely unique. There are others like him, we just don't get to hear their stories very often, and so I commemorate his on behalf of all their stories.
While I can not say exactly what was in his mind...for by the time church was over, the moment had passed and the big boys were soon just big boys playing video games again; still...I have no doubt that the angels' strength was renewed for yet another day of their invisible spiritual work and warfare on our behalf, inspired by the sight of such a thing in the house of God!
"I hope I stay conscious until I get there," said my husband.
Alarmed, I asked what he meant.
"I'm wedged in here so tightly with all this junk I can only take very shallow breathes, and I'm afraid I'll pass out," he said dryly. But all made it home safe and sound.
Now this weekend in our home are resting these two boys, my other two younger sons, my husband and one of his own best friends from his youth--yes, all of them are in our abode this weekend. A monsoon of testosterone. But so far I'm really enjoying watching the boys be boys, bickering about sports and politics and the economy... All I have to do is now and then throw out a stern, "Don't you tear up my throw pillows!" when they're wrestling as I write the grocery shopping list for stuff like brats and charcoal. All I have to do is holler "Don't forget we have church tomorrow!" as the four older ones head out the door for a father and adult-son type of night out, and I find I can hold my own alright.
Today, though, when we went to church, I was reminded once more how much we unwittingly influence the lives of others. I'm speaking of my oldest son's best friend and the influence I've had on his life. Maybe it was because my son's friend became his friend at my unction--as I was 7th-grade math teacher to both of them and thought they'd make good friends for each other, even though at the time they were half-appalled at my suggestion and didn't see my perspective on it at all; they were both 12 at the time. Maybe it was because this boy then ended up being a large part of our family's life and of my son's life from then on. Maybe it was because today is very nearly Mother's Day and is also near to this young man's own years-estranged mother's birthday. Maybe is was because of bits and pieces of all of these, but whatever the "because" might be, as we sang songs of worship standing there in the softly lit sanctuary, as I swayed and sang and smiled to God, I suddenly found myself pulled into an embrace. Surprised, I looked up and found this one so nearly like another son to me had tears streaming down his face as he impulsively grabbed me in that bear hug...a thing all the more poignant seeing he is a rather reserved young man generally speaking.
I've had a surprised sort of warmth in my heart all afternoon. When I consider all the young men I've known in my adult life--and that's a considerable number since I've spent my whole career-life teaching kids--of all of this parade of young men, I've never met one so pervasively afflicted with hardship and rejection over many years, well near all the years of his life. Never have I known one so stripped of the things most people consider to be psychological/spiritual necessities for a sane life. But he is not bitter, and he is not resentful. He does not go mysteriously out of his way to defeat himself, and so he beats the odds; for this young man isn't doing all the things statistics say he "should" be doing, rather he is moved to tears when given the opportunity to be alongside an almost-mom of his when she stands worshipping her God. And I know that while he is unique, he is certainly not completely unique. There are others like him, we just don't get to hear their stories very often, and so I commemorate his on behalf of all their stories.
While I can not say exactly what was in his mind...for by the time church was over, the moment had passed and the big boys were soon just big boys playing video games again; still...I have no doubt that the angels' strength was renewed for yet another day of their invisible spiritual work and warfare on our behalf, inspired by the sight of such a thing in the house of God!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Why today...
...I'm so glad I'm not in relationship with the God of Oprah W. and Tolle.
This author, Tolle, that Winfrey touts so highly claims that the experience of God is all about what you feel, rather than being about what you believe. Well, all I can say is I'm SOOO glad it is not that way between me and my God, especially on a day like today.
On a day like today, I can go to my God and say:
...even though I've had a headache that could kill a horse today...
...and even though a prayer partner needs intercession, but has to keep it in the dark for now, so I don't know quite how "serious" this need is...
...and even though home kids today seemed bent on playing "who can we make look the most stupid" with their friends...
...and even though school kids today decided to misbehave in a frustratingly bizarre way that they'd never conceived of doing before...
...and even though I have to take a little one to baseball practice tonight and will sit there for an hour in a camp chair when I'd rather be lying down with a cool compress on my head...
...and even though my donation to my school's fundraising auction was lost--or maybe stolen--in the mail...
...and even though there was a malaise, an almost subliminal unsettled discouragement and tiredness over almost every adult I met today...
...still...
the feelings generated by all these "and evens" don't spell the way of things between Thee and me. I can go on what I believe. So even as I holler at my youngest to find his ball glove, and I swat at the fighting cats and I sigh deeply, longing for even 30 minutes when the kids don't come up, breathing down my neck as I type, asking, "How much longer ya'gonna be?" Even as all that goes on, I can stop and breathe and remind myself of what I believe, no matter what feelings come and go...
This author, Tolle, that Winfrey touts so highly claims that the experience of God is all about what you feel, rather than being about what you believe. Well, all I can say is I'm SOOO glad it is not that way between me and my God, especially on a day like today.
On a day like today, I can go to my God and say:
...even though I've had a headache that could kill a horse today...
...and even though a prayer partner needs intercession, but has to keep it in the dark for now, so I don't know quite how "serious" this need is...
...and even though home kids today seemed bent on playing "who can we make look the most stupid" with their friends...
...and even though school kids today decided to misbehave in a frustratingly bizarre way that they'd never conceived of doing before...
...and even though I have to take a little one to baseball practice tonight and will sit there for an hour in a camp chair when I'd rather be lying down with a cool compress on my head...
...and even though my donation to my school's fundraising auction was lost--or maybe stolen--in the mail...
...and even though there was a malaise, an almost subliminal unsettled discouragement and tiredness over almost every adult I met today...
...still...
the feelings generated by all these "and evens" don't spell the way of things between Thee and me. I can go on what I believe. So even as I holler at my youngest to find his ball glove, and I swat at the fighting cats and I sigh deeply, longing for even 30 minutes when the kids don't come up, breathing down my neck as I type, asking, "How much longer ya'gonna be?" Even as all that goes on, I can stop and breathe and remind myself of what I believe, no matter what feelings come and go...
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The days of fir trees and myrtle
I dreamed the bushes that wept frozen tears were razed to the ground. And it happened. But even before it did, I felt God whisper in my ear a reminder of this verse when I asked Him if this cutting I saw was death or pruning:
Isa 55:13
Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the LORD for a name, for an everlasting sign [that] shall not be cut off.
Now it has all been accomplished, and I see many more of the images and prayers that have leapt between my Master and me are involved in this large living-out of things that was already "real" in that other place, in the "real-er" place in the place that this world has no choice but to somehow follow.
A year ago Easter, I mentioned my vision of facing Christ on the cross in that moment when He felt "forsaken." In the prayer dream, it was a sweet moment of being a type of the Church inspiring Him in his most desperate hour. But now I think of John's words in Revelation, when he said he ate a little book that was sweet in his mouth, but bitter in his belly. So, too, for me in the translation of this vision's taste in my mouth to its actual digesting into my life, for when this dream became manifest in the world of actualities, I began to understand that He could not look so lovely here. Who was I to think that when God thought Him unlovely, I could even yet see Him as lovely? And this was a thing of chastening, but did not change the question posed to me: would I stay at the Cross anyway, even as I had said I would do in the prayer-dream? My answer was, yes, because I did stay in the prayer dream until He said "It is finished."
I pondered on all the things I learned and noticed at the time of the vision: the fact that it aligned with the part of the Gospel of John wherein Jesus fulfills prophecy by saying He thirsts, and that they gave him a sponge to drink, and that we've "forgotten" the sponge that he actually received for the sake of an almost hypnotic focus on the first sponge that he rejected; also that these moments of the Cross-experience for the Lord drew up quotes from Psalm 22, and one of the lines in that Psalm has Him praying these words: Deliver my soul from the sword; my darling from the power of the dog, although we've changed the word "darling" to "my precious soul" so that he is praying for himself only in that line. But as for me, I'm deeply thankful that some Bibles will put the original wording in the footnotes, for revisiting this Psalm took my breath away as I had also previously dreamed of being chased by these "spiritual dogs" only to find refuge in a garden of my Lord under angelic guard.
All these things spoke volumes to me from the domain of God's Kingdom. But when "real life" visited these themes, they came with the appearance of sin come like flood invading every bit of groundwork in my life, and as a thief come to betray me even in my own home. But I stayed at that cross, until all evidence of its work was finished. I waited while nothing changed-with my suspicions neither justified nor condemned, my expectations of post-storm damage hanging in the unknown realm. So I asked God, what is this time about? And He said to me, "You are in the between-time, between the Cross and the Resurrection. Even as you have walked a personal experience with the Cross, so shall you see the Resurrection. Do not attempt to understand why things are what they are or how they are to be judged until the Resurrection is real for you, too." So I have been waiting these last few days for that Resurrection revelation.
Then one afternoon--in fact 21 days exactly from the day I first faced this Cross--as I drove home from work there came to me suddenly, as a fully formed idea, this thought: my sojourn at the Cross is actually better proven if all claims of innocence around me are accepted as trustworthy in the days where this vision proves itself a reality. If it be Christ's Cross I face, I should expect to look on sin worn as guilt, but not on an actual sinner. Everything locked into a brilliant focus with that realization. And it was like when Jesus said to Peter, Blessed art thou, Simon Barjona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed [it] unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven because it came to me in such an epiphany that my first thought was: Of course! How did I not see this before?
So I asked God the obvious question at the end of such a journey: why? I think of the verse He gave me, the one of the changed plants. Now that my brier is grown up a myrtle, what is the point of it? Am I being readied for something? And in answer, He reminded me of something that I prayed a year ago last July...a one-sentence prayer that I was revisiting with a shifted emphasis.
"Lord, break the power of sin over me." My first visit to this prayer held the obvious emphasis on the power of sin being removed from my life. But this later use of the breath-prayer was to focus on the last part, the "over me"part. It changed from being petitionary (Lord, break the power) to being intercessory (Lord, do it over me, let me be the flood wall that stops the breakers of sin in Your creation.) God's answer to this second layer of this little prayer's focus was the answer to the question of why and underpins the assurance that it will be for a sign forever...making it all especially fitting that it should be connected with images of the Cross and Resurrection.
Luk 1:37
For with God nothing shall be impossible.
Luk 1:38
And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.
Isa 55:13
Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree: and it shall be to the LORD for a name, for an everlasting sign [that] shall not be cut off.
Now it has all been accomplished, and I see many more of the images and prayers that have leapt between my Master and me are involved in this large living-out of things that was already "real" in that other place, in the "real-er" place in the place that this world has no choice but to somehow follow.
A year ago Easter, I mentioned my vision of facing Christ on the cross in that moment when He felt "forsaken." In the prayer dream, it was a sweet moment of being a type of the Church inspiring Him in his most desperate hour. But now I think of John's words in Revelation, when he said he ate a little book that was sweet in his mouth, but bitter in his belly. So, too, for me in the translation of this vision's taste in my mouth to its actual digesting into my life, for when this dream became manifest in the world of actualities, I began to understand that He could not look so lovely here. Who was I to think that when God thought Him unlovely, I could even yet see Him as lovely? And this was a thing of chastening, but did not change the question posed to me: would I stay at the Cross anyway, even as I had said I would do in the prayer-dream? My answer was, yes, because I did stay in the prayer dream until He said "It is finished."
I pondered on all the things I learned and noticed at the time of the vision: the fact that it aligned with the part of the Gospel of John wherein Jesus fulfills prophecy by saying He thirsts, and that they gave him a sponge to drink, and that we've "forgotten" the sponge that he actually received for the sake of an almost hypnotic focus on the first sponge that he rejected; also that these moments of the Cross-experience for the Lord drew up quotes from Psalm 22, and one of the lines in that Psalm has Him praying these words: Deliver my soul from the sword; my darling from the power of the dog, although we've changed the word "darling" to "my precious soul" so that he is praying for himself only in that line. But as for me, I'm deeply thankful that some Bibles will put the original wording in the footnotes, for revisiting this Psalm took my breath away as I had also previously dreamed of being chased by these "spiritual dogs" only to find refuge in a garden of my Lord under angelic guard.
All these things spoke volumes to me from the domain of God's Kingdom. But when "real life" visited these themes, they came with the appearance of sin come like flood invading every bit of groundwork in my life, and as a thief come to betray me even in my own home. But I stayed at that cross, until all evidence of its work was finished. I waited while nothing changed-with my suspicions neither justified nor condemned, my expectations of post-storm damage hanging in the unknown realm. So I asked God, what is this time about? And He said to me, "You are in the between-time, between the Cross and the Resurrection. Even as you have walked a personal experience with the Cross, so shall you see the Resurrection. Do not attempt to understand why things are what they are or how they are to be judged until the Resurrection is real for you, too." So I have been waiting these last few days for that Resurrection revelation.
Then one afternoon--in fact 21 days exactly from the day I first faced this Cross--as I drove home from work there came to me suddenly, as a fully formed idea, this thought: my sojourn at the Cross is actually better proven if all claims of innocence around me are accepted as trustworthy in the days where this vision proves itself a reality. If it be Christ's Cross I face, I should expect to look on sin worn as guilt, but not on an actual sinner. Everything locked into a brilliant focus with that realization. And it was like when Jesus said to Peter, Blessed art thou, Simon Barjona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed [it] unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven because it came to me in such an epiphany that my first thought was: Of course! How did I not see this before?
So I asked God the obvious question at the end of such a journey: why? I think of the verse He gave me, the one of the changed plants. Now that my brier is grown up a myrtle, what is the point of it? Am I being readied for something? And in answer, He reminded me of something that I prayed a year ago last July...a one-sentence prayer that I was revisiting with a shifted emphasis.
"Lord, break the power of sin over me." My first visit to this prayer held the obvious emphasis on the power of sin being removed from my life. But this later use of the breath-prayer was to focus on the last part, the "over me"part. It changed from being petitionary (Lord, break the power) to being intercessory (Lord, do it over me, let me be the flood wall that stops the breakers of sin in Your creation.) God's answer to this second layer of this little prayer's focus was the answer to the question of why and underpins the assurance that it will be for a sign forever...making it all especially fitting that it should be connected with images of the Cross and Resurrection.
Luk 1:37
For with God nothing shall be impossible.
Luk 1:38
And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Integrity and the dream of the footstools
...It is one of those watchwords that has kept presenting itself to me of late.
As I review old journal entries, ones from two summers ago in particular, I find I looked at this word then, too. I wrote an interesting thought down then: "This [integrity] is not something I've really considered as a trait God would show toward me, rather simply something I am supposed to show toward God. But what is integrity?" These were the words I wrote then.
Since then, life has brought me to realize that the integrity of God toward me has indeed been paraded through diverse trials, and I have been called to answer as to what I think of it all. Of late, the most profound thought I've had in this arena is this: that although I didn't really understand fully, I nevertheless am not to stand in the place of the Accuser. There is such a place preserved (for now anyway) before the throne of God, but I am not to stand in that place.
In fact, even as I type this, I remember a dream I had about a footstool. It was a beautiful little footstool, made of soft leather and standing on three fine, satin-smooth wooden legs. It felt good just to look upon it. But butted up against it was a big ottoman, of dingy micro fibre. It had the appearance of other things I've seen in dreams as being the furnishings of the synagogue of Satan. In this dream, I knew it was not good that these footstools should be so close, even touching, so I tried to pull the smaller and beautiful footstool away from the big ugly one. But I did not have the power to move the small one.
I've wondered for a long time what these footstools meant, and why I did what I did--or rather couldn't do what I couldn't do. But, it now seems to me that it is about this idea of removing o separating the authority of the Accuser that calls to the attention of God the guilt of others perpetually presenting this to God--separating this big ugly footstool from the one that is light and beautiful, balanced and simple and and unassuming in the fullness of its goodness. Generally, the one stool presents itself as if it were attached to the other, in other words authority marches at the prompting of Satan when he masquerades himself as one wrapped in the light of Integrity. It is not for me alone to have this task of removing such an Accuser from the presence of the Beautiful One...but I certainly stand near enough to see the true natures of these footstools of authority at the very foot of His throne. I have heard You say this so much lately, and I hear it again regarding this: more is yet to be revealed. For now, this much I know: that no matter what my eyes and life might show me, I will not only refrain from vengeance, I will refrain even from accusation, not joining myself to those who would put accusation in place of intercession, forgetting to wait upon You to work Your own will.
This command I will honor as long as You bring it to my mind, which I pray You do often, and I see even now Your ways of under girding it.
Now as I search this word, integrity, I find foundational wisdom in embracing integrity in this path of meekness--even though I feel rather alone as many would profess wisdom in the opposite: that by integrity we are to condemn the wicked. Such as these accusers might quote Psalm 18:25 to their support: "To the faithful You show Yourself faithful; to those with integrity You show integrity." And I know the many references in the epistles about shunning those who are not walking uprightly. I do not refute the wisdom of these scriptures, but I'd nevertheless point out as well that I Samuel 16:7 says "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." I believe that true integrity is grounded in hope in God's own integrity, and not in a focus that is put on the lack of integrity in men, leading to accusation. "I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living," says Psalm 27:13. I can say a hearty amen to that verse.
And as for judging others based on the uprightness already proven within us, lest we forget, these words are also written:
Psalm 7:8:
The LORD shall judge the people: judge me, O LORD, according to my righteousness, and according to mine integrity [that is] in me.
Again,what is our purpose in considering integrity? Is it that we might be inspired to beg God Himself to be our harshest critic, to our good? Because he is both just and merciful and a searcher of the heart? So my ultimate prayer in this is not that I might use my integrity as a tool of attack, but of defense--for myself and for those for whom I'm called into intercession. So I pray this verse, too, as I know my family have had dreams of sliding:
Psalm 26:1:
[[[A Psalm] of David.]] Judge me, O LORD; for I have walked in mine integrity: I have trusted also in the LORD; [therefore] I shall not slide.
And for more evidence of this role of integrity as a shield of lovingkindness over us and not as a weapon formed against those He puts under our authority:
Psalm 78:72
So he fed them according to the integrity of his heart; and guided them by the skillfulness of his hands.
What's more, integrity is to be more like a wilderness guide than a ring to drive into the ear of one under us:
Proverbs 11:3 The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.
So in the end, the question is this: is He our shield that we wield to the inspiration of others who are under us? Or, is our shield formed by our confidence in the righteousness of our accusations against others as we force them to choose: embrace our wisdom and goodness as evidence of your respect for the authority we've been given over you, or else be damned? As Oswald Chambers would say: are we using Christ's very weapons against Him?
So what says the final authority, our Lord Jesus about these things?
Mar 10:42
But Jesus called them [to him], and saith unto them, Ye know that they which are accounted to rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and their great ones exercise authority upon them.
Mar 10:43
But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister:
Mar 10:44
And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.
Mar 10:45
For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.
These words from Christ, the only one who really has the authority to accuse and condemn.
But why is this so important? It manifests itself as a sign of the end of the age. Who but the Accuser will be put down finally and unequivocally in the day that Revelation 12 is finished:
Rev 12:10
And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.
Rev 12:11
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
(I know that many believe the events of this chapter in scripture are already accomplished, as Satan has been cast out of heaven, and Jesus said He saw Lucifer fall. But I believe Lucifer was cast out as a resident, and so these words of Rev. 12 are about something else. The Accuser is obviously still permitted access to God's throne room for this purpose of accusing; if it were not so, books like Job and Zechariah could not even exist and the word of our testimony and the blood of the Lamb would be put out of order. No...there is still much yet to be revealed, such as the nature of the day when this accuser loses more than just his residency, but loses even his very access entirely, the day when God walks us into the the covenant of perpetual peace.)
So we must decide: where do we stand when we enter the throne room of God? Alongside the one who accuses the brethren or alongside the one who says I come for those who need a physician? Both are in close proximity to each other for now.
And if all this is not enough to convince, humility begs a voice as well, for who is to say we aren't mistaken as we make our judgments regarding the integrity of others? Abraham "gave" Sarah to King Abimelech on the presumption that the king had no integrity and would kill him in order to have Sarah if he confessed that Sarah was already bound to him as his wife. So to preserve his own life, he lay a tricky statement--not an untruth, but not a fully transparent truth either--before this king: "She is my sister," he said, without adding, "...and my wife."
But the Lord nevertheless spoke to Abimelech:
Gen 20:3
But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou [art but] a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she [is] a man's wife.
Gen 20:4
But Abimelech had not come near her: and he said, Lord, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation?
Gen 20:5
Said he not unto me, She [is] my sister? and she, even she herself said, He [is] my brother: in the integrity of my heart and innocency of my hands have I done this.
Gen 20:6
And God said unto him in a dream, Yea, I know that thou didst this in the integrity of thy heart; for I also withheld thee from sinning against me: therefore suffered I thee not to touch her.
Gen 20:7
Now therefore restore the man [his] wife; for he [is] a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live: and if thou restore [her] not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that [are] thine.
Gen 20:10
And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What sawest thou, that thou hast done this thing?
And what was Abraham's answer as to why he walked this slippery path:
Gen 20:11
And Abraham said, Because I thought, Surely the fear of God [is] not in this place; and they will slay me for my wife's sake.
But we are so much more discerning of matters such as when to be suspect of the integrity of the ungodly, are we not, more so than was the "friend of God" called Abraham? And do we not see that God redeemed all, and made the confusing integrity straight, neither removing the prophetic gift of Abraham nor the fruits of integrity in the King. Would we be as wise as God in such a moment as this? In the end, these men made a strong covenant with each other before the Lord. Would all my judgments lead to such an end?
No, my word is only reliable in what I beg of Thee for myself, and as for me, I will consider my own integrity and will keep it separate from issues of authority and rule. These are too lofty for me. This is my hope and the grounding of my own covenant with my Redeemer, and it is a large one:
Pro 20:7
The just [man] walketh in his integrity: his children [are] blessed after him.
As I review old journal entries, ones from two summers ago in particular, I find I looked at this word then, too. I wrote an interesting thought down then: "This [integrity] is not something I've really considered as a trait God would show toward me, rather simply something I am supposed to show toward God. But what is integrity?" These were the words I wrote then.
Since then, life has brought me to realize that the integrity of God toward me has indeed been paraded through diverse trials, and I have been called to answer as to what I think of it all. Of late, the most profound thought I've had in this arena is this: that although I didn't really understand fully, I nevertheless am not to stand in the place of the Accuser. There is such a place preserved (for now anyway) before the throne of God, but I am not to stand in that place.
In fact, even as I type this, I remember a dream I had about a footstool. It was a beautiful little footstool, made of soft leather and standing on three fine, satin-smooth wooden legs. It felt good just to look upon it. But butted up against it was a big ottoman, of dingy micro fibre. It had the appearance of other things I've seen in dreams as being the furnishings of the synagogue of Satan. In this dream, I knew it was not good that these footstools should be so close, even touching, so I tried to pull the smaller and beautiful footstool away from the big ugly one. But I did not have the power to move the small one.
I've wondered for a long time what these footstools meant, and why I did what I did--or rather couldn't do what I couldn't do. But, it now seems to me that it is about this idea of removing o separating the authority of the Accuser that calls to the attention of God the guilt of others perpetually presenting this to God--separating this big ugly footstool from the one that is light and beautiful, balanced and simple and and unassuming in the fullness of its goodness. Generally, the one stool presents itself as if it were attached to the other, in other words authority marches at the prompting of Satan when he masquerades himself as one wrapped in the light of Integrity. It is not for me alone to have this task of removing such an Accuser from the presence of the Beautiful One...but I certainly stand near enough to see the true natures of these footstools of authority at the very foot of His throne. I have heard You say this so much lately, and I hear it again regarding this: more is yet to be revealed. For now, this much I know: that no matter what my eyes and life might show me, I will not only refrain from vengeance, I will refrain even from accusation, not joining myself to those who would put accusation in place of intercession, forgetting to wait upon You to work Your own will.
This command I will honor as long as You bring it to my mind, which I pray You do often, and I see even now Your ways of under girding it.
Now as I search this word, integrity, I find foundational wisdom in embracing integrity in this path of meekness--even though I feel rather alone as many would profess wisdom in the opposite: that by integrity we are to condemn the wicked. Such as these accusers might quote Psalm 18:25 to their support: "To the faithful You show Yourself faithful; to those with integrity You show integrity." And I know the many references in the epistles about shunning those who are not walking uprightly. I do not refute the wisdom of these scriptures, but I'd nevertheless point out as well that I Samuel 16:7 says "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." I believe that true integrity is grounded in hope in God's own integrity, and not in a focus that is put on the lack of integrity in men, leading to accusation. "I would have lost heart unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living," says Psalm 27:13. I can say a hearty amen to that verse.
And as for judging others based on the uprightness already proven within us, lest we forget, these words are also written:
Psalm 7:8:
The LORD shall judge the people: judge me, O LORD, according to my righteousness, and according to mine integrity [that is] in me.
Again,what is our purpose in considering integrity? Is it that we might be inspired to beg God Himself to be our harshest critic, to our good? Because he is both just and merciful and a searcher of the heart? So my ultimate prayer in this is not that I might use my integrity as a tool of attack, but of defense--for myself and for those for whom I'm called into intercession. So I pray this verse, too, as I know my family have had dreams of sliding:
Psalm 26:1:
[[[A Psalm] of David.]] Judge me, O LORD; for I have walked in mine integrity: I have trusted also in the LORD; [therefore] I shall not slide.
And for more evidence of this role of integrity as a shield of lovingkindness over us and not as a weapon formed against those He puts under our authority:
Psalm 78:72
So he fed them according to the integrity of his heart; and guided them by the skillfulness of his hands.
What's more, integrity is to be more like a wilderness guide than a ring to drive into the ear of one under us:
Proverbs 11:3 The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.
So in the end, the question is this: is He our shield that we wield to the inspiration of others who are under us? Or, is our shield formed by our confidence in the righteousness of our accusations against others as we force them to choose: embrace our wisdom and goodness as evidence of your respect for the authority we've been given over you, or else be damned? As Oswald Chambers would say: are we using Christ's very weapons against Him?
So what says the final authority, our Lord Jesus about these things?
Mar 10:42
But Jesus called them [to him], and saith unto them, Ye know that they which are accounted to rule over the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and their great ones exercise authority upon them.
Mar 10:43
But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister:
Mar 10:44
And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all.
Mar 10:45
For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.
These words from Christ, the only one who really has the authority to accuse and condemn.
But why is this so important? It manifests itself as a sign of the end of the age. Who but the Accuser will be put down finally and unequivocally in the day that Revelation 12 is finished:
Rev 12:10
And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.
Rev 12:11
And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
(I know that many believe the events of this chapter in scripture are already accomplished, as Satan has been cast out of heaven, and Jesus said He saw Lucifer fall. But I believe Lucifer was cast out as a resident, and so these words of Rev. 12 are about something else. The Accuser is obviously still permitted access to God's throne room for this purpose of accusing; if it were not so, books like Job and Zechariah could not even exist and the word of our testimony and the blood of the Lamb would be put out of order. No...there is still much yet to be revealed, such as the nature of the day when this accuser loses more than just his residency, but loses even his very access entirely, the day when God walks us into the the covenant of perpetual peace.)
So we must decide: where do we stand when we enter the throne room of God? Alongside the one who accuses the brethren or alongside the one who says I come for those who need a physician? Both are in close proximity to each other for now.
And if all this is not enough to convince, humility begs a voice as well, for who is to say we aren't mistaken as we make our judgments regarding the integrity of others? Abraham "gave" Sarah to King Abimelech on the presumption that the king had no integrity and would kill him in order to have Sarah if he confessed that Sarah was already bound to him as his wife. So to preserve his own life, he lay a tricky statement--not an untruth, but not a fully transparent truth either--before this king: "She is my sister," he said, without adding, "...and my wife."
But the Lord nevertheless spoke to Abimelech:
Gen 20:3
But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou [art but] a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she [is] a man's wife.
Gen 20:4
But Abimelech had not come near her: and he said, Lord, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation?
Gen 20:5
Said he not unto me, She [is] my sister? and she, even she herself said, He [is] my brother: in the integrity of my heart and innocency of my hands have I done this.
Gen 20:6
And God said unto him in a dream, Yea, I know that thou didst this in the integrity of thy heart; for I also withheld thee from sinning against me: therefore suffered I thee not to touch her.
Gen 20:7
Now therefore restore the man [his] wife; for he [is] a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live: and if thou restore [her] not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that [are] thine.
Gen 20:10
And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What sawest thou, that thou hast done this thing?
And what was Abraham's answer as to why he walked this slippery path:
Gen 20:11
And Abraham said, Because I thought, Surely the fear of God [is] not in this place; and they will slay me for my wife's sake.
But we are so much more discerning of matters such as when to be suspect of the integrity of the ungodly, are we not, more so than was the "friend of God" called Abraham? And do we not see that God redeemed all, and made the confusing integrity straight, neither removing the prophetic gift of Abraham nor the fruits of integrity in the King. Would we be as wise as God in such a moment as this? In the end, these men made a strong covenant with each other before the Lord. Would all my judgments lead to such an end?
No, my word is only reliable in what I beg of Thee for myself, and as for me, I will consider my own integrity and will keep it separate from issues of authority and rule. These are too lofty for me. This is my hope and the grounding of my own covenant with my Redeemer, and it is a large one:
Pro 20:7
The just [man] walketh in his integrity: his children [are] blessed after him.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
An Afterword to All This, nd not my own...
Quotes from a book by Ken Gire called The Divine Embrace:
on the idea of how God speaks to each of us individually, as given metaphorically by the written Hebrew word:
The language of the OT is somewhat elusive because it was originally written only with consonants. The vowels, which were easily deduced by Hebrew readers, were omitted from the text. It wasn't until around A.D. 1000 that a group of Jewish scholars, known as the Masoretes, added vowels to the OT text. Even today, in most written Hebrew, such as a contemporary Jerusalem newspaper, the vowels are absent...
'Like the Hebrew alphabet,' Buechner writes, 'the alphabet of grace has no vowels, and in that sense his words to us are always veiled, subtle, cryptic, so that it is left to ourselves to delve their meaning, to fill in the vowels for ourselves by means of all the faith and imagination we can muster. God speaks to us in such a way, presumably, not because he chooses to be obscure but because, unlike a dictionary word whose meaning is fixed, the meaning of an incarnate word is the meaning it has for the one it is spoken to, the meaning that becomes clear and effective in our lives only when we ferret it out for ourselves.' " (pp.105-106)
on the ministry of Schweitzer, and how he dealt with the church in authority over his work condemning his doctrine:
"He went to Africa under the auspices of the conservative Missionary Society of Paris, but because of his theological views he agreed not to preach there but only to practice medicine. Years later, he told journalist Norman Cousins: 'I decided to make my life my argument. I would advocate the things I believed in terms of the life I lived and what I did.' (pp.154-155)
on the motivations that drive the likes of Pharisees and followers of Messiah:
"When our territory is threatened, a self-protective instinct rushes to suppress the threat. In the natural world, our competitive nature has helped us to survive. In the spiritual world, though, mere survival--whether it is the survival of a relationship or a business or a ministry or even of our physical existence--isn't the highest of heavenly concerns...John [the Baptist] knew he had been called to a dance, not a dance competition. "He must increase but I must decrease." John was so in tune with the divine orchestrations of events that he knew his place on the dance floor as well as the steps to the dance that God had ordained for him. And not one of those steps was a competitive one or even a self-protective one." (pp. 171-172)
on looking at the spiritual "last stand" of the martyr Ignatius:
"If Ignatius teaches us anything, it is this: The fear of criticism is silenced by falling in love. If we fall in love with Jesus, not only will nothing on this earth attract us, nothing on this earth will intimidate us." (p.177)
on the burdens unwelcome in the church of today, as quoted from Buechner's Whistling in the Dark:
Alcoholics Anonymous or A.A. is the name of a group of men and women who acknowledge that addiction to alcohol is ruining their lives. Their purpose in coming together is to give it up and help others do the same. They realize they can't pull this off by themselves. They believe they need each other, and they believe they need God. The ones who aren't so sure about God speak instead of their Higher Power...
Nobody lectures them, and they do not lecture each other. They simply tell their own stories with the candor that anonymity makes possible. They tell where they went wrong and how day by day they are trying to go right. They tell where they find the strength and understanding and hope to keep trying. Sometimes one of them will take special responsibility for another--to be available at any hour of the day or night if the need arises. There's not much more to it than that, and it seems to be enough. Healings happen. Miracles are made.
You can't help thinking that something like this is what the Church is meant to be and maybe once was before it got to be Big Business. Sinners Anonymous. 'I can will what is write but I cannot do it,' is the was Saint Paul put it, speaking for all of us. 'For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do' (Romans 7:18-19 RSV)...No matter what far place alcoholics end up in, either in this country or virtually anywhere else, they know that there will be an A.A. meeting nearby to go to and that at that meeting they will find strangers who are not strangers to help and to heal, to listen to the truth and to tell it. That is what the Body of Christ is all about.
Would it ever occur to Christians in a far place to turn to a Church nearby in hope of finding the same? Would they find it? If not, you wonder what is so Big about the Church's Business." (pp. 186-187)
...and on the why of this seemingly inevitable mutation that strikes almost every God-movement collectively claimed and named by men--why do they forget what drove their first love, the deep-knowing that Jesus came not for the healthy but for those needing a physician? In a word: perfectionism. A quote from Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird.
I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each steppingstone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it. (p.180)
...so in light of all this, how do we pray? Gire closes the book with this reader's prayer:
Thank You, Lord Jesus,
Thank you for calling my name, extending your hand and inviting me
not only to be with you but to partner with you
in the work you are doing in the world.
How honored I feel that you not only want to dine with me
but also to dance with me.
Take my hand and draw me into the divine embrace.
In that embrace, help me to see myself not through my own eyes
but through yours.
Help me not to worry about my feet or wonder about the steps ahead
but merely to feel the music, fall into your arms, and follow your lead.
Thank you for all the places you are wanting to take me,
for all the things you are wanting to show me there and to tell me there.
I love the way you love me.
Strong and wild. Slow and easy. Heart and soul. So completely.
I love the feel of your name on my lips.
Jesus.
I is a beautiful name. No, it is the most beautiful name.
For all the longings I have for you, and for everything that stirs those longings,
I thank you.
I do love you so much. I long to love you even more.
Even more.
Help me to love you the way you deserve to be loved,
the way your Father loves you.
Like you are to him, I pray that you would be the delight of my life.
I pray that you would become my deepest hunger and my most satisfying food,
my most intense thirst and my most refreshing drink.
I know that if I just catch the slightest glimpse of your face
or hear the most distant echo of your voice that I will love you more.
So I ask for eyes to see all that in some way reflects you and ears to hear
all that in someway speaks of you.
I pray I could love you more each day than I did the day before
until, at last, metaphor becomes reality,
when I will see you face-to-face,
fall into your arms,
and dance!
on the idea of how God speaks to each of us individually, as given metaphorically by the written Hebrew word:
The language of the OT is somewhat elusive because it was originally written only with consonants. The vowels, which were easily deduced by Hebrew readers, were omitted from the text. It wasn't until around A.D. 1000 that a group of Jewish scholars, known as the Masoretes, added vowels to the OT text. Even today, in most written Hebrew, such as a contemporary Jerusalem newspaper, the vowels are absent...
'Like the Hebrew alphabet,' Buechner writes, 'the alphabet of grace has no vowels, and in that sense his words to us are always veiled, subtle, cryptic, so that it is left to ourselves to delve their meaning, to fill in the vowels for ourselves by means of all the faith and imagination we can muster. God speaks to us in such a way, presumably, not because he chooses to be obscure but because, unlike a dictionary word whose meaning is fixed, the meaning of an incarnate word is the meaning it has for the one it is spoken to, the meaning that becomes clear and effective in our lives only when we ferret it out for ourselves.' " (pp.105-106)
on the ministry of Schweitzer, and how he dealt with the church in authority over his work condemning his doctrine:
"He went to Africa under the auspices of the conservative Missionary Society of Paris, but because of his theological views he agreed not to preach there but only to practice medicine. Years later, he told journalist Norman Cousins: 'I decided to make my life my argument. I would advocate the things I believed in terms of the life I lived and what I did.' (pp.154-155)
on the motivations that drive the likes of Pharisees and followers of Messiah:
"When our territory is threatened, a self-protective instinct rushes to suppress the threat. In the natural world, our competitive nature has helped us to survive. In the spiritual world, though, mere survival--whether it is the survival of a relationship or a business or a ministry or even of our physical existence--isn't the highest of heavenly concerns...John [the Baptist] knew he had been called to a dance, not a dance competition. "He must increase but I must decrease." John was so in tune with the divine orchestrations of events that he knew his place on the dance floor as well as the steps to the dance that God had ordained for him. And not one of those steps was a competitive one or even a self-protective one." (pp. 171-172)
on looking at the spiritual "last stand" of the martyr Ignatius:
"If Ignatius teaches us anything, it is this: The fear of criticism is silenced by falling in love. If we fall in love with Jesus, not only will nothing on this earth attract us, nothing on this earth will intimidate us." (p.177)
on the burdens unwelcome in the church of today, as quoted from Buechner's Whistling in the Dark:
Alcoholics Anonymous or A.A. is the name of a group of men and women who acknowledge that addiction to alcohol is ruining their lives. Their purpose in coming together is to give it up and help others do the same. They realize they can't pull this off by themselves. They believe they need each other, and they believe they need God. The ones who aren't so sure about God speak instead of their Higher Power...
Nobody lectures them, and they do not lecture each other. They simply tell their own stories with the candor that anonymity makes possible. They tell where they went wrong and how day by day they are trying to go right. They tell where they find the strength and understanding and hope to keep trying. Sometimes one of them will take special responsibility for another--to be available at any hour of the day or night if the need arises. There's not much more to it than that, and it seems to be enough. Healings happen. Miracles are made.
You can't help thinking that something like this is what the Church is meant to be and maybe once was before it got to be Big Business. Sinners Anonymous. 'I can will what is write but I cannot do it,' is the was Saint Paul put it, speaking for all of us. 'For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do' (Romans 7:18-19 RSV)...No matter what far place alcoholics end up in, either in this country or virtually anywhere else, they know that there will be an A.A. meeting nearby to go to and that at that meeting they will find strangers who are not strangers to help and to heal, to listen to the truth and to tell it. That is what the Body of Christ is all about.
Would it ever occur to Christians in a far place to turn to a Church nearby in hope of finding the same? Would they find it? If not, you wonder what is so Big about the Church's Business." (pp. 186-187)
...and on the why of this seemingly inevitable mutation that strikes almost every God-movement collectively claimed and named by men--why do they forget what drove their first love, the deep-knowing that Jesus came not for the healthy but for those needing a physician? In a word: perfectionism. A quote from Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird.
I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each steppingstone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it. (p.180)
...so in light of all this, how do we pray? Gire closes the book with this reader's prayer:
Thank You, Lord Jesus,
Thank you for calling my name, extending your hand and inviting me
not only to be with you but to partner with you
in the work you are doing in the world.
How honored I feel that you not only want to dine with me
but also to dance with me.
Take my hand and draw me into the divine embrace.
In that embrace, help me to see myself not through my own eyes
but through yours.
Help me not to worry about my feet or wonder about the steps ahead
but merely to feel the music, fall into your arms, and follow your lead.
Thank you for all the places you are wanting to take me,
for all the things you are wanting to show me there and to tell me there.
I love the way you love me.
Strong and wild. Slow and easy. Heart and soul. So completely.
I love the feel of your name on my lips.
Jesus.
I is a beautiful name. No, it is the most beautiful name.
For all the longings I have for you, and for everything that stirs those longings,
I thank you.
I do love you so much. I long to love you even more.
Even more.
Help me to love you the way you deserve to be loved,
the way your Father loves you.
Like you are to him, I pray that you would be the delight of my life.
I pray that you would become my deepest hunger and my most satisfying food,
my most intense thirst and my most refreshing drink.
I know that if I just catch the slightest glimpse of your face
or hear the most distant echo of your voice that I will love you more.
So I ask for eyes to see all that in some way reflects you and ears to hear
all that in someway speaks of you.
I pray I could love you more each day than I did the day before
until, at last, metaphor becomes reality,
when I will see you face-to-face,
fall into your arms,
and dance!
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
What do you call faith?
Something a fellow forum member posted in a thread I asked to revisit regarding the things I blogged yesterday. I was in great crisis yesterday as I faced the question under a naked and glaring bulb: how do I receive You, Lord Jesus? Then I saw what my forum-friend wrote, and I heard the sermon by Driscoll, and I began looking in the right direction.
I spent a lot of time recently looking at the claims of one website which denounced Eldredge, Miller, Bell, McLaren, and many others. While some of the claims against some authors, notably Tony Campolo, had some merit, many other claims were based on a very spurious point. It went something like this: Eldredge and others teach you to get alone and listen for God's speaking. Since the bible says we are to pray verbally, any advice to listen to God is New Age, and an open door to the enemy. Pretty ridiculous reasoning.
I wondered as I went to bed last night--are things, even down to the closest relationships in my life a lie, or are You the liar? It felt like this matter HAD to be decided as an either/or. This is the thrust of those who would erect a cross here. All or nothing. To say anything else is to be a heretic and in danger of hell-fire. And by the way, decide NOW! And behind it all, it seems that I'm actually facing that old Groucho Marx question: Who ya gonna believe, me or your lyin' eyes?" Only now, You're asking the question. Do I reject everything that has come to mean "relational interaction" between Thee and me as a thing evil? Do I return to a faith-on-paper life and cast in the fires of judgment all that You seem to say that is of a personal and guiding and loving nature--even those things I find confirmed in Your Word? I ask, because to throw away every text that has been black-listed by those You've placed in leadership over me throws this away, too.
Last night, in bed before I slept, I came through the crisis of whether my debate was all within my own heart; whether it ended there. Was I just a reactionary, mildly delusional woman who just needed and got a good dose of reality? Many would say yes. But even last night, I committed my will to the reality of Your presence in my life...Your real, Holy Spirit presence. And before I slept, I remembered two things You'd told me recently:
1) All has not yet been revealed...
2)The altar is accepted...
If an offering I am to make--and this You've shown me in that domain of Your Spirit where we commune--then there must be an altar. I am exploring every grain of wood upon it, O Ezekiel.
Now this morning, I go into Your word and find You confirm my faith pledge of my will to Thee. I read in Mark 6 and 8 the stories of the feeding of the 5000 and the 4000. After the feeding of the 5000, You went walking on the water before Your disciples, and they thought You a ghost and were terrified, and this after they'd almost let You walk right past them. Why? Their hearts were too hard to remember the miracle of the loaves.
Mar 6:46
And when he had sent them away, he departed into a mountain to pray.
Mar 6:47
And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and he alone on the land.
Mar 6:48
And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them.
Mar 6:49
But when they saw him walking upon the sea, they supposed it had been a spirit, and cried out:
Mar 6:50
For they all saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid.
Mar 6:51
And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased: and they were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered.
Mar 6:52
For they considered not [the miracle] of the loaves: for their heart was hardened.
So later when You fed the 4000, and then You proceeded to be straight away asked yet again for a sign by the Pharisees, You sighed Your deepest of sighs over their demand, because You were "seeing" more than just what was before Your eyes...You were seeing the end of the age. And when You therefore told Your disciples to beware the leaven of the Pharisees and of Herod, here again they had the chance to get the point, but they didn't. They took Your words to be about whether they remembered bread for this boat trip that followed this feeding. They made the here and now simply that, and made Your instruction about their immediate existence and took it in the vein of condemnation. And You said:
Mar 8:17
And when Jesus knew [it], he saith unto them, Why reason ye, because ye have no bread? perceive ye not yet, neither understand? have ye your heart yet hardened?
Mar 8:18
Having eyes, see ye not? and having ears, hear ye not? and do ye not remember?
Mar 8:19
When I brake the five loaves among five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? They say unto him, Twelve.
Mar 8:20
And when the seven among four thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? And they said, Seven.
Mar 8:21
And he said unto them, How is it that ye do not understand?
You taught them to look to the larger meaning of the events of the story of life that played before them and involved them, but was nevertheless a story bigger than they were. Consider things like the number of loaves, You said. And this is the same sort of thing You say to me.
Then You proceeded to heal a man in two stages, one who had obviously been able to see at one time for he know even in that half-way point inhis healing what a tree and what a man should look like. Did they understand why such a healing should "go there" in this Gospel telling?
And then, even Peter had to hear this from Jesus after Jesus had looked at all of them:
Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men. (8:33) Who hears that today? Even Peter?
So here was the question for me, as well. Would I walk with the Word in my hand, but continue to look at the events of life by limited vision? Or would I allow You to interpret them for me, in Your beautiful way? O God, may I never reason within myself condemnation over my lack of "real" bread when You are trying to give me hidden manna! I see now the machinations of Satan in these things that have tried my faith. It is like a bill before congress. To reject the bill is a wise thing, as much in the bill may indeed deny Your virgin birth, heaven, hell, etc. But, pork has been added to this bill...pork that should not be thrown away, the pork mentioned in the initial quote: the idea that if a person will actually listen to You, that person is embracing things New Age and evil. So what am I to do? Line item veto. But what do I say to those leaders who refuse to use such a tool? For their sake, I finish out that chapter from Mark:
Mar 8:34
And when he had called the people [unto him] with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
Mar 8:35
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it.
Mar 8:36
For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
Mar 8:37
Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Mar 8:38
Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.
Will I be ashamed of Thee? No, I embrace Your testimony of Yourself to me.
I remember the words of Joshua...all the words of Joshua, not just the last part, easily thrown up in sanctimonious cross-stitching on people's comfy living room walls, but the whole passage. And I pray to humbly walk with Thee in all of it:
Jos 24:15
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that [were] on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
Amen.
I spent a lot of time recently looking at the claims of one website which denounced Eldredge, Miller, Bell, McLaren, and many others. While some of the claims against some authors, notably Tony Campolo, had some merit, many other claims were based on a very spurious point. It went something like this: Eldredge and others teach you to get alone and listen for God's speaking. Since the bible says we are to pray verbally, any advice to listen to God is New Age, and an open door to the enemy. Pretty ridiculous reasoning.
I wondered as I went to bed last night--are things, even down to the closest relationships in my life a lie, or are You the liar? It felt like this matter HAD to be decided as an either/or. This is the thrust of those who would erect a cross here. All or nothing. To say anything else is to be a heretic and in danger of hell-fire. And by the way, decide NOW! And behind it all, it seems that I'm actually facing that old Groucho Marx question: Who ya gonna believe, me or your lyin' eyes?" Only now, You're asking the question. Do I reject everything that has come to mean "relational interaction" between Thee and me as a thing evil? Do I return to a faith-on-paper life and cast in the fires of judgment all that You seem to say that is of a personal and guiding and loving nature--even those things I find confirmed in Your Word? I ask, because to throw away every text that has been black-listed by those You've placed in leadership over me throws this away, too.
Last night, in bed before I slept, I came through the crisis of whether my debate was all within my own heart; whether it ended there. Was I just a reactionary, mildly delusional woman who just needed and got a good dose of reality? Many would say yes. But even last night, I committed my will to the reality of Your presence in my life...Your real, Holy Spirit presence. And before I slept, I remembered two things You'd told me recently:
1) All has not yet been revealed...
2)The altar is accepted...
If an offering I am to make--and this You've shown me in that domain of Your Spirit where we commune--then there must be an altar. I am exploring every grain of wood upon it, O Ezekiel.
Now this morning, I go into Your word and find You confirm my faith pledge of my will to Thee. I read in Mark 6 and 8 the stories of the feeding of the 5000 and the 4000. After the feeding of the 5000, You went walking on the water before Your disciples, and they thought You a ghost and were terrified, and this after they'd almost let You walk right past them. Why? Their hearts were too hard to remember the miracle of the loaves.
Mar 6:46
And when he had sent them away, he departed into a mountain to pray.
Mar 6:47
And when even was come, the ship was in the midst of the sea, and he alone on the land.
Mar 6:48
And he saw them toiling in rowing; for the wind was contrary unto them: and about the fourth watch of the night he cometh unto them, walking upon the sea, and would have passed by them.
Mar 6:49
But when they saw him walking upon the sea, they supposed it had been a spirit, and cried out:
Mar 6:50
For they all saw him, and were troubled. And immediately he talked with them, and saith unto them, Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid.
Mar 6:51
And he went up unto them into the ship; and the wind ceased: and they were sore amazed in themselves beyond measure, and wondered.
Mar 6:52
For they considered not [the miracle] of the loaves: for their heart was hardened.
So later when You fed the 4000, and then You proceeded to be straight away asked yet again for a sign by the Pharisees, You sighed Your deepest of sighs over their demand, because You were "seeing" more than just what was before Your eyes...You were seeing the end of the age. And when You therefore told Your disciples to beware the leaven of the Pharisees and of Herod, here again they had the chance to get the point, but they didn't. They took Your words to be about whether they remembered bread for this boat trip that followed this feeding. They made the here and now simply that, and made Your instruction about their immediate existence and took it in the vein of condemnation. And You said:
Mar 8:17
And when Jesus knew [it], he saith unto them, Why reason ye, because ye have no bread? perceive ye not yet, neither understand? have ye your heart yet hardened?
Mar 8:18
Having eyes, see ye not? and having ears, hear ye not? and do ye not remember?
Mar 8:19
When I brake the five loaves among five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? They say unto him, Twelve.
Mar 8:20
And when the seven among four thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? And they said, Seven.
Mar 8:21
And he said unto them, How is it that ye do not understand?
You taught them to look to the larger meaning of the events of the story of life that played before them and involved them, but was nevertheless a story bigger than they were. Consider things like the number of loaves, You said. And this is the same sort of thing You say to me.
Then You proceeded to heal a man in two stages, one who had obviously been able to see at one time for he know even in that half-way point inhis healing what a tree and what a man should look like. Did they understand why such a healing should "go there" in this Gospel telling?
And then, even Peter had to hear this from Jesus after Jesus had looked at all of them:
Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men. (8:33) Who hears that today? Even Peter?
So here was the question for me, as well. Would I walk with the Word in my hand, but continue to look at the events of life by limited vision? Or would I allow You to interpret them for me, in Your beautiful way? O God, may I never reason within myself condemnation over my lack of "real" bread when You are trying to give me hidden manna! I see now the machinations of Satan in these things that have tried my faith. It is like a bill before congress. To reject the bill is a wise thing, as much in the bill may indeed deny Your virgin birth, heaven, hell, etc. But, pork has been added to this bill...pork that should not be thrown away, the pork mentioned in the initial quote: the idea that if a person will actually listen to You, that person is embracing things New Age and evil. So what am I to do? Line item veto. But what do I say to those leaders who refuse to use such a tool? For their sake, I finish out that chapter from Mark:
Mar 8:34
And when he had called the people [unto him] with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.
Mar 8:35
For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it.
Mar 8:36
For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
Mar 8:37
Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?
Mar 8:38
Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.
Will I be ashamed of Thee? No, I embrace Your testimony of Yourself to me.
I remember the words of Joshua...all the words of Joshua, not just the last part, easily thrown up in sanctimonious cross-stitching on people's comfy living room walls, but the whole passage. And I pray to humbly walk with Thee in all of it:
Jos 24:15
And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that [were] on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
Amen.
Monday, March 31, 2008
What do you call side-by-side?
A word from that little animal I noted in my last blog entry: the one frozen in a cold and dangerous place, a place easily inhabited by hungry predators. She reads...all morning...about this stuff, not just these few specific articles, but many many articles. Still wondering, Martin Luther, what would be your take on these days? And, what will the people 500 years from now have to say about this spiritual maelstrom of our day?
On one side:
http://www3.calvarychapel.com/ccof2/parsontoparson.pdf
Calvary chapel's positional statement for the church leaders to follow as they lead their people
www.apprising.org/archives/emergent_church
a list of general articles intended to expose the heresies of the Emergent movement
http://www.marshillchurch.org/audio/driscoll_sebts_092107.mp3
www.marshillchurch.org/sermonseries/religionsaves/week_08.aspx
a perspective on the emerging church "conversation" by a guy who was one of the early leaders, left, and now offers perspective on what his happening. MP3 for first one, video for second one.
On the other side:
words attributed to the calvary chapel founder's own son in a book called "Stories of Emergence"
“To authentically connect with people who don’t attend church requires us to make more than superficial changes in our external forms. We must undergo the painful process of changing our ways of thinking, our deep-set attitudes, and our mental paradigms. An old codger with a face-lift is still an old codger with a face-lift.
By now most Christians realize that we have an insider vocabulary - a specialized language that’s difficult for people outside our religious subculture to understand. The problem goes deeper than the fact people don’t understand what we mean by sin, redemption, atonement, and sanctification. The problem is that we ourselves have a faulty understanding of many words that freely fall from our lips. Our language is bound by old paradigms that no longer evoke the same reaction as when they were first introduced to mainstream culture. . . .
The difficulty people outside the church face when they experiment with visiting a church in not the form of service – some people are even interested in historic forms of worship and devotion – but the paradigms that control our thinking. We tend to be unconscious of our prejudices, but those are the first red flags that wave in front of our guests. . .
Old paradigms include male hegemony, strict adherence to hierarchy, the assumption that biblical quotations end all arguments, anti-intellectualism (including hostility toward the sciences), holiness codified in external norms, anger toward people who disagree with us, judgmentalism, rejection of human cultures, narrow-minded dogmatism, the inability to acknowledge that a person may have a valid point or truth, ridiculing critics rather than treating them with respect and compassion, dependence on religious institutions for salvation, the notion that rational apologetics will once again be the most important force in evangelism, telling people what to believe rather than helping them form their own beliefs, and so on.”
and:
http://emergent-us.typepad.com/emergentus/2005/06/official_respon.html
(this, too, was available for cut and paste so is listed here)
This is the response from some of the most prominent leaders in the Emegent movement.
"Our Response to Critics of Emergent
We offer this in response to recent criticisms, with the hope that it will cause some to better understand us and others to find hope in a document that they can sign on to.PDF here for download.
By Tony Jones, Doug Pagitt, Spencer Burke, Brian McLaren, Dan Kimball, Andrew Jones, Chris Seay
We continue to be amazed by the enthusiastic interest in the work of emergent, a conversation and friendship of which we are a small part. This conversation is bringing together a wide range of committed Christians and those exploring the Christian faith in wonderful ways, and many of us sense that God is at work among us. As would be expected, there have also been criticisms. A number of people have asked us to respond to these criticisms. These ten brief responses will, we hope, serve to clarify our position and suggest ways for the conversation to continue constructively for participants and critics alike. It is our hope and prayer that even our disagreements can bring us together in respectful dialogue as Christians, resulting in growth for all concerned.
First, we wish to say thanks to our critics for their honest feedback on our books, articles, speeches, blogs, events, and churches. We readily acknowledge that like all human endeavors, our work, even at its best, is still flawed and partial, and at its worst, deserves critique. We are grateful to those who help us see things we may not have seen without the benefit of their perspective. We welcome their input.
Second, we have much to learn from every criticism – whether it is fair or unfair, kindly or unkindly articulated. We pray for the humility to receive all critique with thoughtful consideration. Where we think we have been unfairly treated, we hope not to react defensively or to respond in kind, and where we have been helpfully corrected, we will move forward with gratitude to our critics for their instruction and correction. We especially thank those who seek to help us through cordial, respectful, face-to-face, brotherly/sisterly dialogue. As we have always said, we hope to stimulate constructive conversation, which involves point and counterpoint, honest speaking and open-minded listening. As a sign of good faith in this regard, we have invited and included the voices of our critics in some of our books, and as far as we know, have always treated these conversation partners with respect. We have also attempted to make personal contact with our critics for Christian dialogue. Even though most of these invitations have not been accepted, we hope that the friendly gesture is appreciated.
Third, we regretfully acknowledge that in our thought, writing, and speech, we have at times been less charitable or wise than we wish we would have been. Whenever possible we will seek to correct past errors in future editions of our books; when that is impossible, we will make other forms of public correction.
Fourth, we respect the desire and responsibility of our critics to warn those under their care about ideas that they consider wrong or dangerous, and to keep clear boundaries to declare who is "in" and "out" of their circles. These boundary-keepers have an important role which we understand and respect. If one of your trusted spiritual leaders has criticized our work, we encourage you, in respect for their leadership, not to buy or read our work, but rather to ignore it and consider it unworthy of further consideration. We would only ask, if you accept our critics’ evaluation of our work, that in fairness you abstain from adding your critique to theirs unless you have actually read our books, heard us speak, and engaged with us in dialogue for yourself. Second-hand critique can easily become a kind of gossip that drifts from the truth and causes needless division.
Fifth, because most of us write as local church practitioners rather than professional scholars, and because the professional scholars who criticize our work may find it hard to be convinced by people outside their guild, we feel it wisest at this juncture to ask those in the academy to respond to their peers about our work. We hope to generate fruitful conversations at several levels, including both the academic and ecclesial realms. If few in the academy come to our defense in the coming years, then we will have more reason to believe we are mistaken in our thinking and that our critics are correct in their unchallenged analyses.
Sixth, we would like to clarify, contrary to statements and inferences made by some, that yes, we truly believe there is such a thing as truth and truth matters – if we did not believe this, we would have no good reason to write or speak; no, we are not moral or epistemological relativists any more than anyone or any community is who takes hermeneutical positions – we believe that radical relativism is absurd and dangerous, as is arrogant absolutism; yes, we affirm the historic Trinitarian Christian faith and the ancient creeds, and seek to learn from all of church history – and we honor the church’s great teachers and leaders from East and West, North and South; yes, we believe that Jesus is the crucified and risen Savior of the cosmos and no one comes to the Father except through Jesus; no, we do not pit reason against experience but seek to use all our God-given faculties to love and serve God and our neighbors; no, we do not endorse false dichotomies – and we regret any false dichotomies unintentionally made by or about us (even in this paragraph!); and yes, we affirm that we love, have confidence in, seek to obey, and strive accurately to teach the sacred scriptures, because our greatest desire is to be followers and servants of the Word of God, Jesus Christ. We regret that we have either been unclear or misinterpreted in these and other areas.But we also acknowledge that we each find great joy and promise in dialogue and conversation, even about the items noted in the previous paragraph. Throughout the history of the church, followers of Jesus have come to know what they believe and how they believe it by being open to the honest critique and varied perspectives of others. We are radically open to the possibility that our hermeneutic stance will be greatly enriched in conversation with others. In other words, we value dialogue very highly, and we are convinced that open and generous dialogue – rather than chilling criticism and censorship – offers the greatest hope for the future of the church in the world.We regret that some of our critics have made hasty generalizations and drawn erroneous conclusions based on limited and selective data. We would welcome future critics to converse with us directly and to visit our churches as part of their research. Of course, they would find weaknesses among us, as they would among any group of Christians, including their own. But we believe that they would also find much to celebrate and find many of their suspicions relieved when they see our high regard for the scriptures, for truth, for worship, for evangelism, for spiritual formation, and for our fellow Christians – including our critics themselves.
Seventh, we have repeatedly affirmed, contrary to what some have said, that there is no single theologian or spokesperson for the emergent conversation. We each speak for ourselves and are not official representatives of anyone else, nor do we necessarily endorse everything said or written by one another. We have repeatedly defined emergent as a conversation and friendship, and neither implies unanimity – nor even necessarily consensus – of opinion. We ask our critics to remember that we cannot be held responsible for everything said and done by people using the terms "emergent" or "emerging church," any more than our critics would like to be held responsible for everything said or done by those claiming to be "evangelical" or "born again." Nobody who is a friend or acquaintance of ours, or who agrees with one of us in some points, should be assumed to agree with any of us on all points. Nobody should be held "guilty by association" for reading or conversing with us. Also, contrary to some uninformed reports, this conversation is increasingly global and cross-cultural, and because North Americans are only a small part of it, we urge people to avoid underestimating the importance of Latin American, African, Asian, European, and First Nations voices among us.
Eighth, we are aware that there is some debate about whether we should be considered evangelical. This is a cherished part of our heritage, but we understand that some people define this term more narrowly than we and in such a way that it applies to them but not to us. We will not quarrel over this term, and we will continue to love and respect evangelical Christians whether or not we are accepted by them as evangelicals ourselves. However others include or exclude us, we will continue to affirm an evangelical spirit and faith by cultivating a wholehearted devotion to Christ and his gospel, by seeking to join in the mission of God in our time, by calling people to follow God in the way of Jesus, and by doing so in an irenic spirit of love for all our brothers and sisters.(We hope that those who would like to disassociate us from the term evangelical will be aware of the tendency of some in their ranks toward narrowing and politicizing the term so that it only applies to strict Calvinists, conservative Republicans, people with specific views on U.S. domestic, foreign, military, or economic policy, single-issue voters, or some other subgroup. We pose no threat to these sincere people, nor do we wish to attack or discredit anyone, even though we do not wish to constrict our circle of fellowship to the parameters they propose.)
Ninth, we felt we should offer this encouragement to those who, like us, do not feel capable of living or explaining our faith in ways that would please all of our critics: if our work has been helpful to you, please join us in seeking to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace by not becoming quarrelsome or defensive or disrespectful to anyone – especially those who you feel have misrepresented or misunderstood you or us. As Paul said to Timothy, "The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, patient when wronged." In addition he warned Timothy not to develop "an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions, and constant friction." The apostle James also wrote, "the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness." We believe it is better to be wronged than to wrong someone else; the Lord we follow was gentle and meek, and when he was reviled, he didn’t respond in kind.Instead of engaging in fruitless quarrels with our critics, we urge those who find our work helpful to pursue spiritual formation in the way of Christ, to worship God in spirit and truth, to seek to plant or serve in healthy and fruitful churches, to make disciples – especially among the irreligious and unchurched, to serve those in need, to be at peace with everyone as far as is possible, and to show a special concern for orphans and widows in their distress. We should keep careful control of our tongues (and pens or keyboards), and seek to be pure in heart and life, since this is "religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless."With millions suffering from hunger, disease, and injustice around the world, we hope that all of us – including our critics – can renew our commitment to "remember the poor" (Galatians 2:10) rather than invest excessive energy in "controversies about words." "They will know you are my disciples," Jesus said, not by our excessive disputation, but by our love. Words and ideas are essential, for they often set the course for thought and action, and constructive dialogue is needed and worthwhile, but we cannot let less productive internal debates preoccupy us at the expense of caring for those in need.
Tenth, we should say that along with a few critiques, we are receiving many grateful and affirming responses to our work. Respected theologians and other leaders have told us, either in private or in public, that they are grateful for the emergent conversation and that they stand with us and support us. We are frequently told that people sense God graciously at work in the emergent community. We hope that those who see problems will not overlook the signs of God’s presence and activity among us, just as we do not overlook our many faults, including those pointed out by our critics. Only time will tell what the full outcome will be, but in the meantime, we welcome the prayers of both friends and critics.We must once more thank both our critics and those who affirm our work, because we know that both are trying to help us in their respective ways, and both are trying to do the right thing before God – as we are. At the risk of redundancy, let us state once again that we welcome conversation with all who desire sincere and civil engagement over ideas that matter.If you would like to be involved in the emergent conversation and friendship, we warmly invite you to visit emergentvillage.com. And feel free to pass this response on to others for whom it may be helpful."
But most distressing of all to me on a personal level is when I found this quote that appointed Rob Bell among those who would drag You into the position of being a watered-down, New Age spokesman for divine-to-human relationship:
A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A COURSE IN MIRACLES
by the Christ-hating New Age Guru Marianne Williamson:
"our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us the most.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, famous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just some of us; it’s in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. And as we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. (190,191, emphasis mine)"
Now if you are under the spell of Bell I admonish you in the Lord to ask yourself this critical question: What kind of a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ could agree with this above lie from the pit of Hell?
Here's why it bothers me: I found this very quote some time ago quoted--received it under unknown authorship--either on a forum or in a forwarded email. And at that time, I quoted it here in this blog as a great encouragement for the sake of accepting that rich and amazing commission You had put at my own personal feet through the synthesis of dreams and Bible study. I never took it to be "universal" to all human-kind. I saw it as speaking to the redeemed who are then told to go out and disciple according to Your commission and Your call. By these words, I found such encouragement that I could, like Gideon or like Moses, hear You call me to something so much larger than I'd ever dream You'd put on my table. Oddly, that which the ignorant would call a point of highest pride was at least for me the most profoundly humbling. How could You think I can do this? So my faith came up against its author and was bolstered. And since then, I've watched You, in Your great care and tenderness, groom me toward that very call...grooming that has been without spot or wrinkle and full of wisdom higher than I could ever have devised or constructed, wisdom not obvious to me until after I'd humbly submitted my will to You, time and time again.
Yes, I know that I know that I know I'm in deeper personal relationship with You now than I've ever been before. I also know that it is Your voice I hear and not the voice of some foreign shepherd, for You've allowed them to test me...and they look, feel, and sound quite different from You, even when they bandy Your own words around.
And still, I find all this is about to knock my feet out from under me. To me, what I face here is the equivalent of telling me everything You've shown me in my heart of hearts, all that personal guidance, the encouragement, the humor, the reconciliation where I was still blind to Your nature, the conviction and confession, and most of all the vitality that has washed all over my reading of Your word, the holy Bible...ALL of it was a sham. I simply can't believe that. To do so would be the same as agreeing to make a total denial of my faith. No, not even that would matter so much as the fact that it makes a total denial to me of Who You are.
I'd venture to say, "If I'm wrong about this, Lord, then show me," but the very ways that I hear You are the very thing I'm being told to reject. God help me. I suppose at the very least, it is time I stopped evangelizing or bearing witness of the wondrous ways You involve Yourself in this life You gave me until I know I'm not disrespecting the leadership You've placed over me. Lead me in the paths of righteousness, O God, for Your name's sake.
On one side:
http://www3.calvarychapel.com/ccof2/parsontoparson.pdf
Calvary chapel's positional statement for the church leaders to follow as they lead their people
www.apprising.org/archives/emergent_church
a list of general articles intended to expose the heresies of the Emergent movement
http://www.marshillchurch.org/audio/driscoll_sebts_092107.mp3
www.marshillchurch.org/sermonseries/religionsaves/week_08.aspx
a perspective on the emerging church "conversation" by a guy who was one of the early leaders, left, and now offers perspective on what his happening. MP3 for first one, video for second one.
On the other side:
words attributed to the calvary chapel founder's own son in a book called "Stories of Emergence"
“To authentically connect with people who don’t attend church requires us to make more than superficial changes in our external forms. We must undergo the painful process of changing our ways of thinking, our deep-set attitudes, and our mental paradigms. An old codger with a face-lift is still an old codger with a face-lift.
By now most Christians realize that we have an insider vocabulary - a specialized language that’s difficult for people outside our religious subculture to understand. The problem goes deeper than the fact people don’t understand what we mean by sin, redemption, atonement, and sanctification. The problem is that we ourselves have a faulty understanding of many words that freely fall from our lips. Our language is bound by old paradigms that no longer evoke the same reaction as when they were first introduced to mainstream culture. . . .
The difficulty people outside the church face when they experiment with visiting a church in not the form of service – some people are even interested in historic forms of worship and devotion – but the paradigms that control our thinking. We tend to be unconscious of our prejudices, but those are the first red flags that wave in front of our guests. . .
Old paradigms include male hegemony, strict adherence to hierarchy, the assumption that biblical quotations end all arguments, anti-intellectualism (including hostility toward the sciences), holiness codified in external norms, anger toward people who disagree with us, judgmentalism, rejection of human cultures, narrow-minded dogmatism, the inability to acknowledge that a person may have a valid point or truth, ridiculing critics rather than treating them with respect and compassion, dependence on religious institutions for salvation, the notion that rational apologetics will once again be the most important force in evangelism, telling people what to believe rather than helping them form their own beliefs, and so on.”
and:
http://emergent-us.typepad.com/emergentus/2005/06/official_respon.html
(this, too, was available for cut and paste so is listed here)
This is the response from some of the most prominent leaders in the Emegent movement.
"Our Response to Critics of Emergent
We offer this in response to recent criticisms, with the hope that it will cause some to better understand us and others to find hope in a document that they can sign on to.PDF here for download.
By Tony Jones, Doug Pagitt, Spencer Burke, Brian McLaren, Dan Kimball, Andrew Jones, Chris Seay
We continue to be amazed by the enthusiastic interest in the work of emergent, a conversation and friendship of which we are a small part. This conversation is bringing together a wide range of committed Christians and those exploring the Christian faith in wonderful ways, and many of us sense that God is at work among us. As would be expected, there have also been criticisms. A number of people have asked us to respond to these criticisms. These ten brief responses will, we hope, serve to clarify our position and suggest ways for the conversation to continue constructively for participants and critics alike. It is our hope and prayer that even our disagreements can bring us together in respectful dialogue as Christians, resulting in growth for all concerned.
First, we wish to say thanks to our critics for their honest feedback on our books, articles, speeches, blogs, events, and churches. We readily acknowledge that like all human endeavors, our work, even at its best, is still flawed and partial, and at its worst, deserves critique. We are grateful to those who help us see things we may not have seen without the benefit of their perspective. We welcome their input.
Second, we have much to learn from every criticism – whether it is fair or unfair, kindly or unkindly articulated. We pray for the humility to receive all critique with thoughtful consideration. Where we think we have been unfairly treated, we hope not to react defensively or to respond in kind, and where we have been helpfully corrected, we will move forward with gratitude to our critics for their instruction and correction. We especially thank those who seek to help us through cordial, respectful, face-to-face, brotherly/sisterly dialogue. As we have always said, we hope to stimulate constructive conversation, which involves point and counterpoint, honest speaking and open-minded listening. As a sign of good faith in this regard, we have invited and included the voices of our critics in some of our books, and as far as we know, have always treated these conversation partners with respect. We have also attempted to make personal contact with our critics for Christian dialogue. Even though most of these invitations have not been accepted, we hope that the friendly gesture is appreciated.
Third, we regretfully acknowledge that in our thought, writing, and speech, we have at times been less charitable or wise than we wish we would have been. Whenever possible we will seek to correct past errors in future editions of our books; when that is impossible, we will make other forms of public correction.
Fourth, we respect the desire and responsibility of our critics to warn those under their care about ideas that they consider wrong or dangerous, and to keep clear boundaries to declare who is "in" and "out" of their circles. These boundary-keepers have an important role which we understand and respect. If one of your trusted spiritual leaders has criticized our work, we encourage you, in respect for their leadership, not to buy or read our work, but rather to ignore it and consider it unworthy of further consideration. We would only ask, if you accept our critics’ evaluation of our work, that in fairness you abstain from adding your critique to theirs unless you have actually read our books, heard us speak, and engaged with us in dialogue for yourself. Second-hand critique can easily become a kind of gossip that drifts from the truth and causes needless division.
Fifth, because most of us write as local church practitioners rather than professional scholars, and because the professional scholars who criticize our work may find it hard to be convinced by people outside their guild, we feel it wisest at this juncture to ask those in the academy to respond to their peers about our work. We hope to generate fruitful conversations at several levels, including both the academic and ecclesial realms. If few in the academy come to our defense in the coming years, then we will have more reason to believe we are mistaken in our thinking and that our critics are correct in their unchallenged analyses.
Sixth, we would like to clarify, contrary to statements and inferences made by some, that yes, we truly believe there is such a thing as truth and truth matters – if we did not believe this, we would have no good reason to write or speak; no, we are not moral or epistemological relativists any more than anyone or any community is who takes hermeneutical positions – we believe that radical relativism is absurd and dangerous, as is arrogant absolutism; yes, we affirm the historic Trinitarian Christian faith and the ancient creeds, and seek to learn from all of church history – and we honor the church’s great teachers and leaders from East and West, North and South; yes, we believe that Jesus is the crucified and risen Savior of the cosmos and no one comes to the Father except through Jesus; no, we do not pit reason against experience but seek to use all our God-given faculties to love and serve God and our neighbors; no, we do not endorse false dichotomies – and we regret any false dichotomies unintentionally made by or about us (even in this paragraph!); and yes, we affirm that we love, have confidence in, seek to obey, and strive accurately to teach the sacred scriptures, because our greatest desire is to be followers and servants of the Word of God, Jesus Christ. We regret that we have either been unclear or misinterpreted in these and other areas.But we also acknowledge that we each find great joy and promise in dialogue and conversation, even about the items noted in the previous paragraph. Throughout the history of the church, followers of Jesus have come to know what they believe and how they believe it by being open to the honest critique and varied perspectives of others. We are radically open to the possibility that our hermeneutic stance will be greatly enriched in conversation with others. In other words, we value dialogue very highly, and we are convinced that open and generous dialogue – rather than chilling criticism and censorship – offers the greatest hope for the future of the church in the world.We regret that some of our critics have made hasty generalizations and drawn erroneous conclusions based on limited and selective data. We would welcome future critics to converse with us directly and to visit our churches as part of their research. Of course, they would find weaknesses among us, as they would among any group of Christians, including their own. But we believe that they would also find much to celebrate and find many of their suspicions relieved when they see our high regard for the scriptures, for truth, for worship, for evangelism, for spiritual formation, and for our fellow Christians – including our critics themselves.
Seventh, we have repeatedly affirmed, contrary to what some have said, that there is no single theologian or spokesperson for the emergent conversation. We each speak for ourselves and are not official representatives of anyone else, nor do we necessarily endorse everything said or written by one another. We have repeatedly defined emergent as a conversation and friendship, and neither implies unanimity – nor even necessarily consensus – of opinion. We ask our critics to remember that we cannot be held responsible for everything said and done by people using the terms "emergent" or "emerging church," any more than our critics would like to be held responsible for everything said or done by those claiming to be "evangelical" or "born again." Nobody who is a friend or acquaintance of ours, or who agrees with one of us in some points, should be assumed to agree with any of us on all points. Nobody should be held "guilty by association" for reading or conversing with us. Also, contrary to some uninformed reports, this conversation is increasingly global and cross-cultural, and because North Americans are only a small part of it, we urge people to avoid underestimating the importance of Latin American, African, Asian, European, and First Nations voices among us.
Eighth, we are aware that there is some debate about whether we should be considered evangelical. This is a cherished part of our heritage, but we understand that some people define this term more narrowly than we and in such a way that it applies to them but not to us. We will not quarrel over this term, and we will continue to love and respect evangelical Christians whether or not we are accepted by them as evangelicals ourselves. However others include or exclude us, we will continue to affirm an evangelical spirit and faith by cultivating a wholehearted devotion to Christ and his gospel, by seeking to join in the mission of God in our time, by calling people to follow God in the way of Jesus, and by doing so in an irenic spirit of love for all our brothers and sisters.(We hope that those who would like to disassociate us from the term evangelical will be aware of the tendency of some in their ranks toward narrowing and politicizing the term so that it only applies to strict Calvinists, conservative Republicans, people with specific views on U.S. domestic, foreign, military, or economic policy, single-issue voters, or some other subgroup. We pose no threat to these sincere people, nor do we wish to attack or discredit anyone, even though we do not wish to constrict our circle of fellowship to the parameters they propose.)
Ninth, we felt we should offer this encouragement to those who, like us, do not feel capable of living or explaining our faith in ways that would please all of our critics: if our work has been helpful to you, please join us in seeking to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace by not becoming quarrelsome or defensive or disrespectful to anyone – especially those who you feel have misrepresented or misunderstood you or us. As Paul said to Timothy, "The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, patient when wronged." In addition he warned Timothy not to develop "an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions, and constant friction." The apostle James also wrote, "the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness." We believe it is better to be wronged than to wrong someone else; the Lord we follow was gentle and meek, and when he was reviled, he didn’t respond in kind.Instead of engaging in fruitless quarrels with our critics, we urge those who find our work helpful to pursue spiritual formation in the way of Christ, to worship God in spirit and truth, to seek to plant or serve in healthy and fruitful churches, to make disciples – especially among the irreligious and unchurched, to serve those in need, to be at peace with everyone as far as is possible, and to show a special concern for orphans and widows in their distress. We should keep careful control of our tongues (and pens or keyboards), and seek to be pure in heart and life, since this is "religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless."With millions suffering from hunger, disease, and injustice around the world, we hope that all of us – including our critics – can renew our commitment to "remember the poor" (Galatians 2:10) rather than invest excessive energy in "controversies about words." "They will know you are my disciples," Jesus said, not by our excessive disputation, but by our love. Words and ideas are essential, for they often set the course for thought and action, and constructive dialogue is needed and worthwhile, but we cannot let less productive internal debates preoccupy us at the expense of caring for those in need.
Tenth, we should say that along with a few critiques, we are receiving many grateful and affirming responses to our work. Respected theologians and other leaders have told us, either in private or in public, that they are grateful for the emergent conversation and that they stand with us and support us. We are frequently told that people sense God graciously at work in the emergent community. We hope that those who see problems will not overlook the signs of God’s presence and activity among us, just as we do not overlook our many faults, including those pointed out by our critics. Only time will tell what the full outcome will be, but in the meantime, we welcome the prayers of both friends and critics.We must once more thank both our critics and those who affirm our work, because we know that both are trying to help us in their respective ways, and both are trying to do the right thing before God – as we are. At the risk of redundancy, let us state once again that we welcome conversation with all who desire sincere and civil engagement over ideas that matter.If you would like to be involved in the emergent conversation and friendship, we warmly invite you to visit emergentvillage.com. And feel free to pass this response on to others for whom it may be helpful."
But most distressing of all to me on a personal level is when I found this quote that appointed Rob Bell among those who would drag You into the position of being a watered-down, New Age spokesman for divine-to-human relationship:
A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A COURSE IN MIRACLES
by the Christ-hating New Age Guru Marianne Williamson:
"our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us the most.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, famous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just some of us; it’s in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. And as we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. (190,191, emphasis mine)"
Now if you are under the spell of Bell I admonish you in the Lord to ask yourself this critical question: What kind of a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ could agree with this above lie from the pit of Hell?
Here's why it bothers me: I found this very quote some time ago quoted--received it under unknown authorship--either on a forum or in a forwarded email. And at that time, I quoted it here in this blog as a great encouragement for the sake of accepting that rich and amazing commission You had put at my own personal feet through the synthesis of dreams and Bible study. I never took it to be "universal" to all human-kind. I saw it as speaking to the redeemed who are then told to go out and disciple according to Your commission and Your call. By these words, I found such encouragement that I could, like Gideon or like Moses, hear You call me to something so much larger than I'd ever dream You'd put on my table. Oddly, that which the ignorant would call a point of highest pride was at least for me the most profoundly humbling. How could You think I can do this? So my faith came up against its author and was bolstered. And since then, I've watched You, in Your great care and tenderness, groom me toward that very call...grooming that has been without spot or wrinkle and full of wisdom higher than I could ever have devised or constructed, wisdom not obvious to me until after I'd humbly submitted my will to You, time and time again.
Yes, I know that I know that I know I'm in deeper personal relationship with You now than I've ever been before. I also know that it is Your voice I hear and not the voice of some foreign shepherd, for You've allowed them to test me...and they look, feel, and sound quite different from You, even when they bandy Your own words around.
And still, I find all this is about to knock my feet out from under me. To me, what I face here is the equivalent of telling me everything You've shown me in my heart of hearts, all that personal guidance, the encouragement, the humor, the reconciliation where I was still blind to Your nature, the conviction and confession, and most of all the vitality that has washed all over my reading of Your word, the holy Bible...ALL of it was a sham. I simply can't believe that. To do so would be the same as agreeing to make a total denial of my faith. No, not even that would matter so much as the fact that it makes a total denial to me of Who You are.
I'd venture to say, "If I'm wrong about this, Lord, then show me," but the very ways that I hear You are the very thing I'm being told to reject. God help me. I suppose at the very least, it is time I stopped evangelizing or bearing witness of the wondrous ways You involve Yourself in this life You gave me until I know I'm not disrespecting the leadership You've placed over me. Lead me in the paths of righteousness, O God, for Your name's sake.
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