Redemption

I stepped out of time and looked for evidence of pride.
I saw it before the days of dying man.
His name was Lucifer, and he was infectious.
And because he was infectious, pride spread.

I saw it in the early days of dying man.
His name was Cain.
I saw it in the days when the promise was made to dying man.
His name was Esau.
I saw it in the ending days of dying man.
His name was Judas.
And each of these carried his scroll that announced his act of betrayal.

First for Lucifer:
Isa 14:12 How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! [how] art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!
Isa 14:13 For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:
Isa 14:14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.

and so to Cain:
Gen 4:8 And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.


paid forward to Esau:
Gen 25:30 And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red [pottage]; for I [am] faint: therefore was his name called Edom.
Gen 25:32 And Esau said, Behold, I [am] at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me?
Gen 25:34 Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised [his] birthright.

and again in Judas:
Luk 22:3 Then entered Satan into Judas surnamed Iscariot, being of the number of the twelve.
Mar 14:10 And Judas Iscariot, one of the twelve, went unto the chief priests, to betray him unto them.

So I stepped out of time and looked for evidence of the result of such offences.
I looked again at these same ones.

Luk 10:18 And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven.

And so that divine edict--
an eternal forsaking of those who manifest pride--
It was established...
And revisited.
But man was not much like an angel in his own falling.
Forsakenness was as the balm to heal his pride.
He embraced again his frailty.

Gen 4:13 And Cain said unto the LORD, My punishment [is] greater than I can bear.

Gen 27:34 And when Esau heard the words of his father, he cried with a great and exceeding bitter cry, and said unto his father, Bless me, [even] me also, O my father.

Gen 27:37 And Isaac answered and said unto Esau, Behold, I have made him thy lord, and all his brethren have I given to him for servants; and with corn and wine have I sustained him: and what shall I do now unto thee, my son?
Gen 27:38 And Esau said unto his father, Hast thou but one blessing, my father? bless me, [even] me also, O my father. And Esau lifted up his voice, and wept.

Mat 27:3
Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders,
Mat 27:4
Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What [is that] to us? see thou [to that].
Mat 27:5
And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself.

So I stepped out of time and looked for the conclusion of this
that breaks the hearts of men
when once they wake to their weakness.
And I saw its beginning:
Luk 23:39 And one of the malefactors which were hanged railed on him, saying, If thou be Christ, save thyself and us.
Luk 23:40 But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation?
Luk 23:41 And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss.
Luk 23:42 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.
Luk 23:43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.

And so on the one cross could hang
Cain and Esau...even Judas,
Numbered
as those allowed the fruit of repentance
after days forsaken.

Because on the other cross did hang
Mar 15:34 Jesus [who] cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? which is, being interpreted, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

And so God did commune with man
yet not with the martyrs and the saints alone.
But with the forsaken.
And death began to die.

So finally I stepped out of time and looked at this
that breaks the hearts of men
And I saw its end,
but I wait to see more because
I hardly understand what I see here:
Mar 3:26 And if Satan rise up against himself, and be divided, he cannot stand, but hath an end.

Growth...

...peculiar to man, it is part of our uniqueness in the created order of things.

It seems to me a lot like turning a bend in a woodland road. Only for a moment can you see both how far you've come and how far you have to go. With only the slightest move either way, the opposite direction becomes just the stuff of memory and planning.
And again I see the wisdom locked in the Gospels.



Growth as a response to a recognized calling:
Mat 4:18 And Jesus, walking by the sea of Galilee, saw two brethren, Simon called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea: for they were fishers.

Growth as the result of a daily interactive walk:
Mat 16:16 And Simon Peter answered and said, Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God.

Growth in the form of spiritual awakening:
Mat 17:2 And was transfigured before them (Peter, James, and John): and his face did shine as the sun, and his raiment was white as the light.

Yet when they arrived at this monumental place of perception, He anticipated that their next step of growth would not be easy, for He told the parable of a householder who chose to pay both those who worked all day and those who worked but an hour the same wage. But fairness and grace were not ready to co-exist at this stage of growth; even as He shared this tale defining grace, their minds swirled with thoughts over who among them would be the greatest in His kingdom of heaven.

Thus on the heels of this awakening-growth--a growth that sprang from their faith maturing, on its heels came another growth, less pleasant but necessary. It was the growth of the falling away, the sloughing off, the divorcing of those portions within that could not abide with the newness of life that invaded their souls:
Then came to him the mother of Zebedee's children with her sons (James and John), worshipping [him], and desiring a certain thing of him.
And he said unto her, What wilt thou? She saith unto him, Grant that these my two sons may sit, the one on thy right hand, and the other on the left, in thy kingdom...
...And when the ten heard [it], they were moved with indignation against the two brethren.

And He asked: Is thine eye evil, because I am good?
So here is that bend in the road: Behind are the steps where we learned to accept that He is good, ahead are the steps where we will learn to accept that our own eyes are inherently evil (ambitious.) We must move forward in order to leave behind us this ambition that attempts to calculate itself into our new awareness of Him.

Look behind you, James and John, and see back to the days before you believed. Look behind you, Peter, and see back to the days before you were tempted to compare yourself to your fellow disciples. The temptations were not there because none of you really calculated Him to be your Master yet.

Now look ahead, and see the road before you, where pride is broken and humility is born and the dramatic vision is made real, but so differently than you expected...with wrenching and strain and sacrifice. But remember this one thing as you make your decision to trudge ahead...all but the one of you named Judas. Remember that once this stretch of road was not even available to your feet.
You didn't think to seek a throne
until you believed there was a kingdom.
Such is the nature of growth.

Freedom...

...is a concept that has taken on deeper meaning for me lately. Sometimes when such a thing happens, I gain a sudden insight into the placement of various stories in the Gospels. Oswald Chambers advises us to "stop listening to the tyranny of your individuality," and Matthew 19 surveys that very idea.

• The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
• Then were there brought unto him little children, that he should put [his] hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them.
• And, behold, one (rich ruler according to Luke's Gospel) came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?

Three episodes:

freedom tests about the law and the nature of relationships

freedom tests about pride and self-importance

freedom tests about wealth and burdensome responsibility

The tyranny of individuality...three not-so-dissimilar points of origin from which to define a point of central truth in a multi-dimensional spirit-universe.

Regarding laws of marriage, His answer was: consider why God made marriage a feature of human life.

Regarding time dedicated to children even when weighty matters press, His answer was: consider why God made children a feature of human life.

Regarding the relationship between temporal wealth and eternal wealth, His answer was: consider why God gave you wealth.

Everyone has a type of wealth and a type of bondage...particulars change, but the central truth of it remains. I've had a profound awakening to that fact this week. Because I rarely brush shoulders with ones who have truly deep wells in the domain of worldly wealth, I rarely consider the particular bondage that comes with that life. Nor do I often see the freedom I breathe that is suffocated there.

For instance, I could lay awake at night worrying over how to pay my bills, but the conscientious person of wealth could likewise lay awake at night worrying about the many people under the influence of his finances, who rely on him in order to pay their own bills. And the sleepless night's impact would be of little difference on one hand. While there are benefits and curses unique to each situation, there are nevertheless benefits and curses inherent in both. There is no escaping it. There is the self-deceptive lie in thinking that the other world is better, and there is the self-deceptive lie in thinking our own world is better. But the rich man can become callous and the poor man can become bitter. Or the rich man can become magnanimous and the poor man can become a bastion of strong humility.

So what is freedom? Do we really understand how to get it? Do we really know if we want it?

By definition, it is a broadly used term.

It can be a very good thing: 1 : the quality or state of being free: as a : the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action b : liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another : INDEPENDENCE c : the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous.

But it can also be a bad thing: f : improper familiarity.

Its range of application is large: from total absence of restraint to merely a sense of not being unduly hampered or frustrated.

Finally, it can imply positive change: LIBERTY suggests release from former restraint or compulsion: the released prisoner had difficulty adjusting to his new liberty

or negative potential: LICENSE implies freedom specially granted or conceded and may connote an abuse of freedom: freedom without responsibility may degenerate into license.

So how does one embrace freedom?

It is hidden here:

24 After Jesus and his disciples arrived in Capernaum, the collectors of the two‑drachma tax came to Peter and asked, “Doesn't your teacher pay the temple tax*?”
25 “Yes, he does,” he replied.
When Peter came into the house, Jesus was the first to speak. “What do you think, Simon?” he asked. “From whom do the kings of the earth collect duty and taxes–from their own sons or from others?”
26 “From others,” Peter answered.
“Then the sons are exempt,” Jesus said to him. 27 “But so that we may not offend them, go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four‑drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours.” Matthew 17

Synchronicities...the Butterfly

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." --C.S. Lewis

So small and insignificant seems the living parable of this thought from one of the great theologians of our day. It can be seen in those species who experience metamorphosis.

There is a forum I visit with about the same infrequency but also with the same deep warmth of heart one experiences regarding a homeplace church. A friend at that forum posted the following ideas, and they are so closely related to things I've been praying over some other dear friends...even down to the butterfly imagery...that I had to make a note of it. Also, because her words are powerful and beautiful.

On December 26, she posted:
I am not fond of the butterfly because she is delicate and cute. I am so drawn to her, who was once such an ugly a thing, desired bigger things. She found the slightest amount of courage and hope to search for just the right leaf to veil herself beneath, not knowing what would happen after that…and in her cocoon as she waited and waited, and fasted and prayed, one day erupted out of her self-made prison. Completely free, such a beautiful little creature, fluttering and flying without much effort because the gentle winds are so kind to her. She no longer “crawls through disappointment and despair,” as in the poem I have hanging on my wall. She has wings, and all her life from here on out is from flower to flower. I love her because I hope that we share something, her and I both: a story.

God.. please just change me..

On December 28, she added:
I've come to understand that I am in a place in between desolation, doubt and freedom, joy and restoration. Somedays I am walking in my inner groan and saddness, other days, in a heavenly embrace and reassurance. Visiting both lands, caught between the two. The middle place is my hope, my faith.. my growing trust in the Father..I'm getting bigger, but it's all secret. It is important that I stay in my cocoon for now, protected from outside dangers, held firmly, a safe place to grow.Until I'm out there in the open for all too see..But, I think I know how transformation takes place..It's in our feeling most empty, most alone. Most honest and real about our powerless condition.Then, something Divine happens.We are right where he wants us to be.All our grasping and reaching and arranging has stopped because it has been proved useless. We have already sewn ourselves shut. What else is there? Nothing.Just when we think it is over..we're wrong. The huge whole in our hearts is not fatal, actually, it't working for us, not against us.For now there is space for Someone greater than our doubts about Him to step in and take a look around the place. To enter into the deepest parts of you and begin His work, His healing grace. The transformation Has already been destined for you.There is nothing else, but to be consumed by the love we lost so long ago that we forgot we ever had it.And one day, after it has been just Him and you in the deepest darkest part of your soul, your eye catches a light from the outside.With Him inside of you, you've grown to big for this place...A gentle and warm assurance arrests you, as He speaks softly,"It's time.."
Love, Patience

The Sons of Dickens Meet the Sons of Freud

The talk of ghosts has come up lately. The family watched the Muppets Christmas Carol the other day, and the littlest one sought to become more informed on these strange creatures. As I think about this popular Christmas tale, I think how wise was the man who wrote it. Could we not all see such a transformation if we followed in the footsteps of Ebenezer Scrooge, for don't we all have ways we fall short of our potential?

First comes the spirit that shocks us into awareness. The one who has walked where we walk and yet has the advantage of seeing the end, the coming fall, the losses garnered on that road. The spirit of testimony. If we have the courage to hear this spirit, others will have room to speak. This step opens the door to change.

Next, the spirit of the past. When once we accept that first spirit's demand that we look in the mirror naked, without any garments of self-justification and without shifting our eyes to see who else might be in that mirror, we are ready to look back and benefit from a study of the why behind the who that we have become. This step opens the door to honesty.

If the revisit of the past is successful, we will be awakened to the second spirit, the spirit of the present. We will see with new eyes the truth of the world around us and our role in making it what it is, either for good or for bad. This step opens the door to empathy.

And should both these spirits be successful, we muster the courage to visit the most terrifying spirit of all...the spirit of the future. We are finally able to project ahead to the end of our current choices and see without delusion what could be the end of us. This step opens the door to life everlasting.

So thank you, Charles Dickens, for the story you told. May it prove true over and over again!
(and thank you University of Virginia for providing it online at: http://etext.virginia.edu/toc/modeng/public/DicChri.html )

Bless This House...The Christmas Present from My Husband

Required elements in a good story:
dramatic tension, the conflict of good and evil, and the final assessment of the story's moral being a thing that says more about the receiver than it does about the giver of the story, that is if the story has been told well. And finally, a good story will touch us because it mirrors life, right?

We as a family know a little about the larger story we have been given to walk. Currently, it is tied up in the events that relate to this new home. I mentioned it even when we first became acquainted with the house. I said it somehow made me look at things Biblical, words related to the house of Judah and the house of Joseph and their relationship.

My eldest and I talked about this during a discussion of the nature of Bible-reading. He took a Biblical literature class this fall and learned how the Bible's words are beauty. But he did not so much learn how its words are life. (How do I give you a sample of this truth, my son?)

He learned how this book is history, poetry, and a creed for soul and body health, but he did not so much learn how it is new every morning and serves as a meeting ground between two beings (the self and God) who exist on radically different planes. (And how do I give you a sample of that, my son?)

So here is a bit about this house and its people; a bit about this world and its people; a bit about that elusive word and its impact, and that should be enough for today.

When we were visiting the house in those days before we took possession of it, we noticed the cardinal windchimes on the porch. Cardinals, particularly those found in winter (as I've blogged before) have long been a sign of intimacy between God and me, so this gave us a good feeling about the place. Why even now there hangs in the pantry a calendar with a picture of a cardinal in winter to accompany my birthday month, January--so many little intimate signs connect me to God in that bird.

But a bad thing happened. One day--and it was a day when our hopes for keeping this house hit their first obstacle--we came home from school to find the windchime gone. A mystery as to who put it up and now, a mystery as to who took it away. And timing that could carry a bad omen.

"What do you think that means?" said my middle son, Elijah.
And that's the rub, isn't it?

"There is therefore now no condemnation," says the Good Book. If we are blind or of limited vision, we see only the dark. But if we have trained our eyes to see what is real, we see only light, no matter what the circumstances.

Can I tell you, my sons, about a part of that Book, the one you are only just beginning to see as a gateway to things beyond time and space? An obscure little prophet lived and spoke of these things. We live them again, but don't realize we, too, are characters in the same story he tells.

So how do we read it, infusing it into the stream of today's lives?

I read this in Amos 5:
18 Woe to you who desire the day of the Lord!
For what good is the day of the Lord to you?
It will be darkness, and not light.
I look at how the Christian bookstores sell mountains of books from the "Left Behind" series to people whose parents even years ago wore t-shirts that proudly asserted: "When the Rapture comes, this t-shirt will be empty!" But Amos cries, "Foul!" Does anyone tell us about his words?

19 It will be as though a man fled from a lion,
And a bear met him!
Or as though he went into the house,
Leaned his hand on the wall,
And a serpent bit him!
I think of how the weariness of this type of living affects us even now: just when you think you're going to "catch a break," worse calamity falls upon you. So one strong in the Lord faces the question: do you see the larger story well enough to accept that its foretelling through you is infinitely important? Will you, for that reason of having eyes that see, cooperate with the hardship? For this fulfills the meaning of the commission we receive to "get behind the afflictions of Christ."

20 Is not the day of the Lord darkness, and not light?
Is it not very dark, with no brightness in it?
21 "I hate, I despise your feast days,
And I do not savor your sacred assemblies.
22 Though you offer Me burnt offerings and your grain offerings,
I will not accept them,
Nor will I regard your fattened peace offerings.
23 Take away from Me the noise of your songs,
For I will not hear the melody of your stringed instruments.

And I have already shared enough even in my last few blogs about my feelings regarding the decline of the "sacred assemblies."

So now what to do?
24 But let justice run down like water,
And righteousness like a mighty stream.

I stand amazed that we miss these words. But if we miss these, then no wonder we miss the ones that precede them: the ones about that house of Joseph. (I notice them because of our own house's part in the story-telling around Joseph and Judah.) We should read them with intensity, and they should be what inspire us. But no, we prefer to manifest our blatant self-preservation instinct instead of realizing that we have been called to fling out the blanket of God's grace over a cold shivering people.

For Amos also says:
14 Seek good and not evil,
That you may live;
So the Lord God of hosts will be with you,
As you have spoken.
15 Hate evil, love good;
Establish justice in the gate.
It may be that the Lord God of hosts
Will be gracious to the remnant of Joseph.
So could it be that a day will come when our reach toward the remnant of Joseph will be used to measure the depths of our association with the true heart of Christ?

And what of the little cardinal wind chime? Amos tells us more to help in understanding its mysterious disappearance, and so does life. Recedntly, I saw the word cardinal in large letters...the name of a business mounted as individual blocks on a brick wall. It looked like this: CARD NAL, for the "I" had falled out of it. And for me, the message was clear as day: the "I" was to fall out of my cardinal, too. It was time for this bird to become a larger sign than just for me. The cardinal would grow, and with it my vision and my purpose as a story-teller for God.

So here is how I could interpret its disappearance: its loss is a personal one for me, a sign that I am deceived in thinking that I am chosen especially to live in this house, a sign that horrors loom ahead for me. But here is how I will interpret its disappearance: its loss is personal for me, but it is necessary as it foretells that in the days before the houses of Judah and Joseph become one house, a plumb line will be dropped, and many will be found crooked who to the naked eye look straight. When that day comes, the "priests" will drive the cardinal away, saying the same thing that this priest said to Amos in chapter 7:
12 Then Amaziah said to Amos:
"Go, you seer!
Flee to the land of Judah.
There eat bread,
And there prophesy.
13 But never again prophesy at Bethel,
For it is the king's sanctuary,
And it is the royal residence."

So, the Lord gave them what they asked for:
11 "Behold, the days are coming," says the Lord God,
"That I will send a famine on the land,
Not a famine of bread,
Nor a thirst for water,
But of hearing the words of the Lord.
12 They shall wander from sea to sea,
And from north to east;
They shall run to and fro, seeking the word of the Lord,
But shall not find it.

And so in answer to the question, why did the cardinal disappear, the answer that sounds flippant but is actually rather deep:
...because that is the way the story goes.
If the cardinal didn't leave--and by hands other than our own--the story would be incomplete. In fact, we might not even have enough evidence to know which story the little bird was helping revisit. But now we know which story we re-live. And here is the best part about visiting the doom of all apocalyptic tales. They resolve well.
There is yet more to tell.

For the story does not end with the bare hook stuck into the porch roof in the gray winter chill. My husband in his heart knew it was right to replace that sign of interactive relationship with God. Although he searched high and low for a replacement windchime to give me for Christmas, no such windchime could be found anywhere in our town, so he gave me this picture of a Cardinal windchime with the promise that one would be ordered online and would come by mail from far away. He orders this gift because even without realizing he knows the end of the story, he still knows the end of the story because his heart belongs to God.

For the larger story will happen to the people of this world--and those who expect it will fare better than those who don't:
9 "For surely I will command,
And will sift the house of Israel among all nations,
As grain is sifted in a sieve;
Yet not the smallest grain shall fall to the ground.
10 All the sinners of My people shall die by the sword,
Who say, 'The calamity shall not overtake nor confront us.'

Nevertheless, the story does not end there. The cardinal should return. For Amos closes his writings with the following vision:
Israel Will Be Restored
(cf. Acts 15:16, 17)
11 "On that day I will raise up
The *tabernacle of David, which has fallen down,
And repair its damages;
I will raise up its ruins,
And rebuild it as in the days of old;
12 That they may possess the remnant of Edom,*
And all the Gentiles who are called by My name,"
Says the Lord who does this thing.
13 "Behold, the days are coming," says the Lord,
"When the plowman shall overtake the reaper,
And the treader of grapes him who sows seed;
The mountains shall drip with sweet wine,
And all the hills shall flow with it.
14 I will bring back the captives of My people Israel;
They shall build the waste cities and inhabit them;
They shall plant vineyards and drink wine from them;
They shall also make gardens and eat fruit from them.
15 I will plant them in their land,
And no longer shall they be pulled up
From the land I have given them,"
Says the Lord your God.

In the earliest days of the church, James went to these same words as he worked to understand the relationship of the two houses...the houses then known as Jews and Gentiles. In those days, the Jews were first believing that God would accept us--the Gentiles--as another fold.
So here we are again. But I fear we are not listening as closely to God as they were. In fact, this seems an almost insurmountable change of heart for the church. Only You could make it happen.

So as for me--a simple person in a simple life, and not a person of letters to have such authority to address the world--I will lock my faith on the thing at hand. I will pray that my husband does indeed find that windchime for me. And when he brings it to me, I will hang it from that bare hook. Then in the spring I will put a pot of fragrant flowers under it. I will take myself a chair out on that porch, and I will listen and breathe as the wind carries the sweetness of the fragrance of the flowers married to the song of the chimes, carries them past me and away into the larger world.

For that is the way the story ends.

Christmas Eve Vespers

Only on a day like today does it make sense to say that the whole family plays a game of MouseTrap at 6am while gorging on chocolate for breakfast.

But I wanted to talk about last night's service, and I didn't get to it last night, so I muse on it this morning while the children explore their other gifts. It all started yesterday while I sat on the bed wrapping that same MouseTrap game and listening to the drone of voices on the TV. I was hearing Rick Warren speak on Meet the Press, talking about how--unlike the Catholic Church--the Protestant church has made a split. They are now two groups: one being the self-designated head group and the other the self-designated hands group. The liberals are the hands and feet of social doctrine, helping the poor live better lives now but putting little emphasis on the hereafter; while alongside them, the conservatives form the head group, preparing people for heaven while impoverishing them on earth by guilting these constituents into giving their last farthings for use toward vague, obscure charities. (OK, I over-dramatized it a bit. His was a more conciliatory presentation of this idea.)

I thought of my dream of how the fall of a skateboarding child would break that child's head and hands, and I wondered if the thought of these two warring factions of the church as head against hands is being more universally-given than just to me in my little dream.

And I thought about Psalm 73. Here it is Your birthday, and so we celebrate; but how does anyone really go about knowing You anymore? It is not a new dilemma:

The Psalmist says:
Psa 73:2
But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped.
Psa 73:3
For I was envious at the foolish, [when] I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

And I say:
I sat in a church and watched a pastor wave a checkbook from the pulpit and say, "You don't think there is enough in here? I'm telling you if you just have enough faith, God will put what you need in here so you can get that new couch!"

The Psalmist says:
Psa 73:5
They [are] not in trouble [as other] men; neither are they plagued like [other] men.
Psa 73:7
Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish.

And I say:
I think of a pastor I know who feels no sense of disconnect between his life walk and his Gospel message, while I see a huge one. Am I wrong to draw attention to it? It is easily proven I believe by the fact that he chooses to live in an upscale, gated community even as he preaches about his close association with one who claims: "The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air [have] nests; but the Son of man hath not where to lay [his] head."


The Psalmist says:
Psa 73:10
Therefore his people return hither: and waters of a full [cup] are wrung out to them.
Psa 73:11
And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High?
Psa 73:13
Verily I have cleansed my heart [in] vain, and washed my hands in innocency.

And I say:
I wonder how You'll judge the righteousness of my Wiccan friend who shared the following story with me over breakfast the other day: she had to sit her children down and have a talk with them about the injustice of choosing friends based on the money they have to spend; talk to them about the soul-trap hidden in materialism. I was sad when I learned that she once went zealously by the name of Christian, but she met too many like those described above--and so in order to become more like Christ she became less like a Christian.

I wonder how You'll reward the righteousness of another friend who makes no bold confessions of brash faith in the institution known as the church, but who nonetheless hopes that Your nature is true. His is a heart after Yours, as he writes the following blog content about his recent work trip to New Orleans:
The devastation is still being uncovered here. Just today, a few miles from where we hand-mixed and poured concrete pilings, another body was found under a house. Some prefer to discuss the politics of indifference that left the poorest of the poor uninformed and unwarned until it was too late. Others prefer pick up shovels, mix concrete and pour foundations for the future. In the hours and days after Katrina, total strangers selflessly piled into cars and drove south knowing only that they would help, even if they didn't know how. Governments change, eventually. Politicians die, thankfully. People push forward, together.
And I think of how many churches I see building new lavish additions onto their already mega-structures, doing this before using that wealth to guarantee that these "poorest of the poor" have their most basic needs met with consistency. The Spirit is said to be sent to us by You as our guarantee of what is in Your heart for us...now what kind of guarantee are we being?

The Psalmist says:
Psa 73:14
For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning.

And I say:
My heart breaks over these things...for finding that floodgate that opens to the real You grows rarer every day. It shouldn't be so. But how does one condemn the church without closing the only possible gate even more firmly, crushing any remaining hope that the next generation will find You?

So the Psalmist and I both say:
Psa 73:15
If I say, I will speak thus; behold, I should offend [against] the generation of thy children.
Psa 73:16
When I thought to know this, it [was] too painful for me;
Psa 73:17
Until I went into the sanctuary of God; [then] understood I their end.

So even in my crushing grief over these things yesterday, You presented me with renewed hope in this reassurance: not all sanctuaries have shut Your nature out. Not yet.

Yesterday afternoon, we drove past fallow fields skirted by bare trees on our way to a small country church in a village whose name few would recognize. We passed small ranch-style farm houses with gravel driveways that were filled with cars, 20-25 cars packed together.

Finally in front of one such house, I exclaimed,"I can't imagine that many people got in that little house for a Christmas gathering!"

"They didn't," my husband noticed. "They're all in the pole barn."

Sure enough, the small house was set in front of a large metal barn...and it reminded me of how the first celebrations of You were made by humble people in a stable. I imagined the picnic tables and lawn chairs and kerosene heaters scattered in the barn...the tools hanging on the wall behind the aluminum Christmas tree. Brenda Lee playing in the background for the sake of the nostalgia of the elders, even as the children danced and laughed and compared her to Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Then we came to the church. There was no room in the front pews, so we sat in the back; but from there we could see everything. The late afternoon sun shone through windows that were stained glass, making rainbows of light whose sum-total was a golden glow against the creamy walls. First, my eyes grew misty as I listened to one of my sisters of the heart play the piano. She and her family were the reason we knew about this service. They invited us to it, as they were administering it. Years ago we served together in a larger church, working in music ministry with them. But several years ago we moved away from their hometown, and I had not heard her play for such a long time. Now as I listened, I remembered how much I loved to hear her. Her gift of musicianship is one of those rare ones that encompasses both technical skill and interpretive sensitivity. And tears streamed down my cheeks as I thanked You for letting me hear her again.

Then she left the bench so that a child could come and play her own introit: a heavy-handed version of Silent Night that made everyone smile tenderly. I teared up a little again as I listened to my soul-sister's husband, who serves as pastor in another Methodist church, offer the meditation as guest speaker. He spoke on one of my favorite verses:
Luk 1:45
And blessed [is] she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord.
Elizabeth gave the gift of these words to Mary when Mary was first pregnant; and indeed I have often thought of this couple as being like an "Elizabeth" to us when we have felt like "Mary." They have stood by us and supported us whenever we are reaching to believe those things that make true in us our Lord's admonishment that we "work out our salvation with fear and trembling."

And then, the third time I grew tearful was when I listened as this couple provided the special music with the help of their grown children: all four of them singing while two of them played piano and guitar a lovely, lively carol. Three generations of this family have gone into the ministry. Each generation walks with hearts that are large and eyes that are light, and I was deeply blessed to see them honored with this opportunity to share their gifts.

The service closed as Silent Night was reprised to a more adroit accompaniment, and as we sang it, we lit our candles. The sun had set, but the church walls still glowed, proving that even the minimal light of a single candle flame can illuminate a room richly when that source of light is passed along to others, and when it is treasured and kept aloft after being shared throughout the assembly. As the song ended, the gray-haired farmer who sat in front of me wiped his cheeks.

So finally, the Psalmist says:
Psa 73:24
Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me [to] glory.
Psa 73:27
For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee.
Psa 73:28
But [it is] good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all thy works.

So finally, I say:
We have been in a family Passover celebration this last week...complete with a kick-off grounded in dreams of red-painted lintels all the way to the accomplishment of an intentional, week-long leaven fast for the entire family and a telling of why we did such a fast to the younger generation. ("So can we eat bread now?" asked the youngest one last night, and I know You smiled down on us.)
For this is Passover: a human response to a God-given edict that says: show me your belief that I, your God, will soon break a bondage, release you from the authority of a harsh power, and lead you into a new day more fabulous than you can even imagine. Historically, this responsive celebration was to be started and ended with holy convocations. For us, the ending one was this Christmas vespers service.

Many gifts were exchanged this day, but I must note that the one from You was quite tender, as You led us deep into the wilderness to find this service that still spoke about the truth of You: the humble beauty, the gift of soul song, the promise of Your faithfulness through the generations, and the sharing of the light with whoever in the world is willing to receive it.

Thank You.

An Inconvenient Truth...

...the title of the DVD sitting here on the desk beside me, but more...
the thought clanging in my mind as the ill-timed discovery of this truth that should not have been revealed on Christmas Eve...

...my ex-husband has learned our son is choosing to stop attending high school as a "mid-termer" and finish his credits in the form of a night class this spring so that he can go to work full-time in order to help us help him follow his dream of marching drum corp...a dream we are not financially set to help him realize.

...my ex-husband has cited the clause in our divorce decree that states 'That the child support obligation shall continue until such time as the dependent minor reaches his ago of majority age 18 or graduates from high school whichever last occurs."

...My ex chooses to interpret our son's decision about his spring semester as being his "graduation from high school." The legal notice I received from his attorney states: "The child support obligation should terminate on December 22, 2006. "

Without even going into consideration of the outcome...how do I talk to our son about his father's priorities? God help me.

Prayer and Prophetic Dreaming...study time

Thinking on the dream parallels I had with my son's dream...a day of contest/crisis. In my son's dream--by the eyes of a child, a broken hand symbolized the revealed path to safety and victory for the dreamer. In my dream--by the eyes of one who is weaned--the broken off hand and smashed skull symbolized a need to intervene and offer help to the innocent and confused, the aid native to the God-given maturity of the dreamer. This latent aid would be called to action when others were made aware of the danger and loss bound up in their current activity. These are the major themes of the dreams.

Now the scriptural counterpart that always comes to explain the dream imagery grows clearer. For in the dreams:

• There is a fall.
• There is an altered reality that some recognize and some don't, and so God steps in to "shake what can be shaken" in order to make more apparent that which is of Him and can not be shaken.
• There is a focus on the head and the hands.

...these made my heart beat faster when I re-read the story about how the ark of the covenant was taken away from the Hebrews when they began to exercise their faith in too pagan a fashion. God allowed them to be drawn into a testing battl wherein they uncovered their paganized trust, for they brought the ark into battle like a talisman instead of housing their trust in the less concrete but more solid proof that was their relationship with God. Is this a story to be retold? (And if so, what are we treating like a good-luck charm, the thing that we heedlessly treat as being more sure for us than our relationship with God is?)

The story as it was:

1 Samuel - Chapter 5

1Sa 5:1
¶
And the Philistines took the ark of God, and brought it from Ebenezer unto Ashdod.



1Sa 5:2
When the Philistines took the ark of God, they brought it into the house of Dagon, and set it by Dagon.

1Sa 5:3
And when they of Ashdod arose early on the morrow, behold, Dagon [was] fallen upon his face to the earth before the ark of the LORD. And they took Dagon, and set him in his place again.

1Sa 5:4
And when they arose early on the morrow morning, behold, Dagon [was] fallen upon his face to the ground before the ark of the LORD; and the head of Dagon and both the palms of his hands [were] cut off upon the threshold; only [the stump of] Dagon was left to him.

1Sa 5:5
Therefore neither the priests of Dagon, nor any that come into Dagon's house, tread on the threshold of Dagon in Ashdod unto this day.

1Sa 5:6
¶
But the hand of the LORD was heavy upon them of Ashdod, and he destroyed them, and smote them with emerods, [even] Ashdod and the coasts thereof.

1Sa 5:7
And when the men of Ashdod saw that [it was] so, they said, The ark of the God of Israel shall not abide with us: for his hand is sore upon us, and upon Dagon our god.


About this figure, Dagon. In Hebrew the name means "great fish." He was a sea idol, usually represented as having the head and hands of a man, while the rest of the body resembled a fish. The allegory of Christ being often represented by a fish, and this idol having the appearance of a fish, but being "breakable" in those places where he is nonetheless pagan strikes me. Also, that these "non-fish" parts are what I saw broken in my dream.

I found in an on-line commentary the words of Chuck Smith, in a sermon he made near Easter-time. This is about idolatry:

"David the psalmist speaks of, again, the folly of idols. He said, "The work of the heathen is vain for they take a stick out of the forest, and they carve it and they make an image like unto themselves." He said, "But though they put eyes on the little god, the eyes can't see. Though they put ears on the little god, they can't hear. Though they put feet on it, they can't walk. Though they put the mouth, it can't speak."
Then he makes a very interesting observation, and he said, "They that have made them have become like unto the gods that they have made." You see, the first observation is that men have to have a god, and many men make their own gods. But when a man makes a god, he makes his god like himself. The anthropomorphic concepts. Because I have eyes, I put eyes on my little god. Because I have ears, I carve ears on the little god. Because I have a nose, I carve a little nose. Because I have feet, I carve the feet. Because I don't have any hair, I leave him bald. But though I may take great care in carving out the eyes on my little god, those eyes never do see anything. Though I carve a mouth on my little god, the mouth can't speak. Though I may carve feet on it, it can't walk. It's a dumb little idol.
But tragically, a man becomes like his god. If your god is a dumb stupid little idol, you are becoming like your god. Insensate, where soon you no longer hear the voice of God; you no longer see the glory of God; you no longer feel the presence of God. You've become like your gods, insensate to God. A man becomes like his god. That can be a glorious blessing, or a glorious, I mean a horrible curse. It all depends on who your god is. A man becomes like his god. "And we with open face beholding the glory of the Lord are changed from glory to glory, even into the same image by the power of His Spirit within us" (II Corinthians 3:18). Hey, I'm becoming like my God. "Beloved, now are we the sons of God. It doesn't yet appear what we're gonna be, but we know when He appears we're going to be like Him, for we will see Him as He is" (I John 3:2)." "

May those of us who are receiving Your divine radio-signals remain shielded by the assurances of that verse from I John and from II Corinthians.

As for me, this is my plea to You as a gap-filler in the throes of study over what You reveal as I travel along the way that is Your Son:


Psa 86:7
In the day of my trouble I will call upon thee: for thou wilt answer me.

Psa 86:8
Among the gods [there is] none like unto thee, O Lord; neither [are there any works] like unto thy works.

Psa 86:9
All nations whom thou hast made shall come and worship before thee, O Lord; and shall glorify thy name.

Psa 86:10
For thou [art] great, and doest wondrous things: thou [art] God alone.

Let Them Eat Cake...

...but let me designate whether it is to be Pillsbury or Betty Crocker, so I can get my 5-spot.
In the news:

PayPerPost lets advertisers tell bloggers about word-of-mouth marketing opportunities such as a new gadget or shoe. Advertisers set a price of $5 or more per post, and willing bloggers respond. The better the price, the more quickly spots fill up. The Orlando, Fla., company brokers the payments.
Bloggers are free to trash products or write neutral reviews, but advertisers can specify whether they pay only for positive write-ups.

We were talking just the other day how our blog is just for us, and how no one else in the world would really give a rat's you-know-what to read our drivel...one man's treasure is another man's trash...all that. But I guess there are other bloggers out there who are (and maybe rightfully) optimistic about the proliferation of their dedicated readers, confident enough that they are ready to pull the cyber diary out from under the bed, unlock it, and start pasting in some ad copy.

But even more optimistic, I'd say, is the sponsor. Makes me want to approach my hair spray company and say, "Hey, I do 'commercials' in the mirror with your product every morning. Trust me, others see and hear (like the kids, the family dog...) 'Keeps hair in place without looking stiff--' So show me the money--cha-ching."

Time after time...

...I seem to forget that my negativity can be as a cancer, spreading to others when I am actually trying to make things better...to do the right thing (in this case, be a good parent, or at least how I think a good parent would act).

I need to remember that I am not alone in my orbit...there are others who are affected by what and how I say things. I will try to remember this. I am looking forward to this season, and want you to look forward to spending it with me....

...I love you...

The Wind Blows Petulantly Thru the Juniper Bushes

Ok...obviously there is no connection with the title and anything I might write. Just trying to break the cycle of stupid titles for my (infrequent) blogs.

I don't feel particularly led to write much this morning. However, my (dream, daydream, psychotic episode) was quite clear on what to include...


....we have to go back to that place.

....I don't kow why, or when, but the sense I get is that there will be some kind of cosmic circuit breaker snap into place when we do. I know what my dreams tell me, but that is neither for here or there...simply that we are supposed to attend again, and , as the first time, the reason will be made apparent.

....there....I have written it down (with a few thoughts added).

Come to think about it, it really doesn't make much more sense than the title....sigh....

The Family's Christmas Outings

"Faith is the voice in the back of your head telling you to listen to the voice in the back of your head." Dennis Miller

This quote caught my husband's eye and stuck there...for it tells deeply and concisely exactly the way faith has worked for us this last couple of years.

And what does that voice say: no matter what life may throw your way, it is not praise you should be hearing from Me in those times when you need nothing, nor should you be hearing condemnation from Me in those times when you need everything. Only trust and prioritize our relationship in whatever state you find your life. This is what the back-of-the-head voice says.

Now here is the quote that caught my eye, sent to dance with my husband's focal quote:

Experience is a gateway. not an end. Beware of building your faith on experience..." Oswald Chambers

Two experiences are available for illustration, and they take the form of the "Christmas Outing." Families tend to give special significance to "the family outing" during the Christmas season. We are no exception. But the outings took very different forms last year and this year.

The scene from last year's abundance laid alongside the scene from this year's need:
We piled into the car and went to King's Island.
We piled into the car and drove a few miles to see a commercially produced light show.

At King's Island, the shops glowed with Christmas wares, lights and garlands glittered; with not a single decoration forgotten that might be required to make that historic "holiday cheer" come alive.
At the light show, a parade of Christmas lights portrayed scene after scene, from Noah's ark to a circus, from a farmer sowing seed to ice skaters on a pond. And the children were still enraptured.

At King's Island, Santa was only available for distant viewing as he rode waving, high atop a sleigh, moving through the park in a spectacular parade.
At the farm-implement store that hosted the light show, Santa was available for a free personal visit, and the visitors made their own parade through the store to get a turn with him.

At King's Island, the smell of baked goods wafted from every eatery, and fake snow crunched underfoot near the artificially-made ice skating pond. The children dined on hot pastries and cocoa and skated.
At the farm store, the smell-wafting came from the crumpled but free bags of popcorn, which also provided the crunch underfoot as children were--amazingly--allowed to climb around on tractor after tractor, turning wheels and pulling levers on machines bearing tags that proclaimed their value: up in the thousands of dollars. Instead of fiddling with skates, they disconnected spark plugs on lawn mowers until moms stopped them. ( And I wondered how many a mom at King's Island would have even known that the wire her three-year-old just pulled loose had anything to do with a spark plug? I know I bowed in wonder to that unimpressive-looking mom's superior knowledge.)

At King's Island, a group of minstrels played live music by request just for us in the middle of a not-so-busy pathway.
At the tractor store, the only music came sporadically through the door from the "Santa cart" placed decoratively just outside. It wasn't live music, and it wasn't any great loss when the door swung shut and cut it off.

Finally, at King's Island last year, we took our child out for a Christmas memory-maker, one birthed from our wealth; and our five-year-old gave it his stamp of approval: "I'll never forget this."
But this year at the tractor store, he had his first "real" one-on-one visit with Santa. Clutching his complimentary John Deere tractor in hand as we left, he said: "I'll never forget this."
I hope, neither will I.

Going Streaking...spiritually speaking

Lately, I have felt too exposed. Short has been the prep-time that God has used in training me to benefit others with that which He put in my keeping and had me anointed to use: "prophetic" gifting. Even typing it makes me cringe as I think of what these words draw to mind for most people: a picture of someone who--right after claiming said gift--thrust a live snake in the beneficiary's hands and started running around in circles or foaming at the mouth.

And while I'm not that, and while You haven't called me to go out in OT prophet-style, doing bizarre prophetic demonstrations with the exclamation, "Hear ye the word of the Lord;" still, it feels out of my comfort zone to be going to people at all and saying these things You're giving me. To be a spiritual hypochondriac is not part of the natural me, but is nonetheless the current appearance of the prophetic me. So I came to You and said, "Help me out here. I don't mind looking crazy if I have the assurance that I'm really doing what You want me to do with this stuff."

Well...driving to school Tuesday morning, I was stuck in a real log-jam of traffic; but being stuck gave me time to notice the ad on the back of a truck positioned in front of me. It's motto: Find yourself someone dependable. (or something to that effect...finding dependability was certainly there.) Beside the motto, the company name and logo appeared: Conner and Company. Seeing Conner immediately made me think of my superintendent, whose son is named Conner. "Your boss will be the one to come through for you," I seemed to be hearing. So many arenas of life where things did not go as they were "supposed" to go, leaving me and my family to suffer...over and over again all through the autumn, while we just persevered and counted pennies...for what else can you do?

"Look to the ones I call dependable," says God.

Last week, in response to this need created by random unreliability out in the cold world, I had asked that very same superintendent if he might be able to find a way to move me from part-time to full-time work after Christmas. The day I followed the truck that foretold his reliability to God's plans, he did indeed offer me the full-time job. What's more...I got the affirmation that I needed that I am also walking according to God's plans...no matter how flaky it makes me appear.

Choosing Baby Jesus

Our fine arts classes had a decision to make:

was Baby Jesus an oversized and heavy, bald German
or a perfectly-sized, long-haired Aztec girl?
We ended up going with the Aztec girl.
Mary could have handled the German boy alright; but he still posed a threat in that he just might collapse the cardboard manger right off its cardboard legs.

Ah the things you deal with when your department decides to put on a Christmas tableaux. And my how God hides lessons in such a performance's advent season. For instance:

At one point yesterday, I had to retrieve that same Jesus from the hands of a young man who was beating it against a wall...not maliciously, more in a succumbing-to-ADHD fashion. One of the other kids told me, "Hey, Mrs. Way, H. is going to destroy Baby Jesus."

When I took the doll away from him, he said, "Well, He (meaning the real Jesus now) doesn't like me much anyway."

Now you have to know that H's reputation is not stellar. He has been in trouble frequently, but is nonetheless an extremely bright boy; likeable and usually respectful and helpful. But, he doesn't do his homework, and he is often tardy to class. He's simply not a follow-the-rules kind of guy. But h's also not a "bad" guy. This year is going much better for him in these respects than last year did, but his comment makes me fear that the self-image he constructed last year is still staunchly in place.

"Not so, H.," I objected. "He knows you're willing to be a donkey to carry Him. Not everyone is willing to do that."

I referred to another specific kid: D.
D. is one of the BMOC's at our school. Lots of money, lots of talent and lots of student-body admiration. Tall with dark good looks, he may appear flawless; but he is just as flawed as the rest of us, and and more exposed than he realizes, at least to the eyes of those who see through God's modes of revelation. God tested D. one day during rehearsal, and D. never knew it happened.

It was a little thing, so insignificant that it went right over his head, or maybe I should say over his heart in this case. We were running the scenes, and the one came up in which H. serves as a donkey for Mary to ride. He literally gets on hands and knees with a horse blanket thrown over him. His role is simply to let Mary sit on his back. But when we came to that scene, H. was helping the visual art part of the class by washing paint brushes. D. had poked his head around the kitchen door from the cafeteria where we rehearsed to call H. D. turned back to us saying, "H. is washing brushes."

So I asked, "D. would you fill in for him so we can move on with the scene?"

D. looked at me without expression. "No," he said. Not "No, I have bad knees," or "No, these are my only pair of good pants," (which wouldn't be the case for him anyway) just "No."

H. came out at that moment, drying his hands. "Some of us are trying to help," he said, and got down on his knees. And I loved him.

As for D, I was surprised by his unwillingness. But God put it in my heart later to pray for this boy as He was testing D., and D. failed. He had given D. the most literal presentation of this question I've ever seen anyone receive: will you make an ass of yourself for my sake, if only for a moment? D.'s heart had too much pride in it to say yes.

Even yesterday, a "word from God" came regarding this insignificant little tableaux that we'll perform for our fellow school-people. Only a negligible number of the world's masses will see it, but the little stories breathe life into the big ones. Though I pray that his eyes soon be opened, nevertheless in that moment listed above, D. personified pride, and God used this to teach me even more:

I bought D.'s crown for he has a role as one of the wise man. I went to Burger King to get four crowns to serve as bases for the work the art class will do to outfit these wise men and Herod in fitting attire. How funny, I thought, that lately I've come across two different kings in scripture who had the number of the beast associated with them in reference to the way they collected and used gold: that being 666. And guess how much change I got back from my $20 when I bought happy meals for my kids and me to eat (hence justifying the taking of crowns.)
$6.66.
Pride, a sense of false wisdom, a trust in the reputation of a crown that we don't realize is nothing but flimsy paper...these are indeed given the attention of the very throne of heaven, even in humble little stories ours. And how many in these stories know the eyes of heaven are upon them? Very few. The eyes of heaven on the Vatican, the Crystal Cathedral, dying martyrs in the Middle East...this many would expect, and they are right...but that His eyes are on this little place and this little tableaux with equal interest and interaction? Only the hosts of heaven seem to realize that this is also a significant part of the big story that defines the genuine heart of God and His Son. Most people's God is too small to be large enough to give attention so broadly yet without placing a favoring significance on the "powerful" according ot the world's eyes.

As usual, I am reminded of how the Word is still "life" because it repeats itself from Scriptural history as it is documented...for when God sent Samuel to anoint a new king over Israel, even Samuel first expected to anoint Eliab, the eldest son of Jesse.

I Samuel 16:6-7:
And it came to pass, when they were come, that he looked on Eliab, and said, Surely the LORD'S anointed [is] before him.
But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for [the LORD seeth] not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.

David, the youngest, wasn't even invited to the anointing ceremony, so sure was his family that he was NOT the one God would want. But--surprise!--He was the one God wanted, and they had to go take him from the drudge work he was doing to come and be "chosen."

H. was washing brushes, but had to leave as no one would do this most menial role in the play but him. No one realized that in God's eyes, his was the most honorable role of all.

This House Watches Homer Simpson during Advent

Mat 11:25 At that time Jesus answered and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.

And what do the babes see and hear?

They see: Two cartoon kites fly in a cartoon sky, one red and the other blue. And a cartoon character reflects on them, saying, "Ah...red and blue, the colors of friendship."
This on the TV show, The Simpson's. (Although some babes aren't allowed to watch this show...mine are.)

They see: A line of kids waiting to visit a fake Santa seated under a two-toned banner reading "Welcome Santa!" The welcome in the hearts of the children is genuine, but the Santa in this scene is recognized as an "imposter" by a real Santa-elf who has served a long advent season making preparations in this toy store to receive a visit from what he expects to be the real Santa. His words to this "anti-Santa" are harsh: "You sit on a throne of lies!" And we all laugh, as is fitting for this comedic scene...but hopefully the children learn something larger, too, about the power of genuinely knowing someone. They also see a pretty decent scaled-for-kids foretelling of the Apocalypse...although I doubt that was the intention of the writers. Especially if they were "wise and prudent."
This in the movie, Elf.

Finally, they see: a couple of cartoon cars learn and grow, becoming deeper in character and richer in relationship through their time together; in the end, proving to be a benefit to a larger circle of cars. And they are one red boy car and one blue girl car.
This in the movie Cars.

It is enough for now to make the point that the babes see and hopefully learn the lesson to end all lessons about relationship, the lesson that I mentioned when we first felt drawn to this house we live in: this blue house with its red shutters and doors. We felt like God hand-picked it for us. Hidden in scripture are two tribes who are destined to become one, and these colors are telling their story everywhere.

Ezekiel spoke of them becoming one in the hand of God...and I quoted him in the first blog entry titled Bless This House.
In short:
Eze 37:19 Say unto them, Thus saith the Lord GOD; Behold, I will take the stick of Joseph, which [is] in the hand of Ephraim, and the tribes of Israel his fellows, and will put them with him, [even] with the stick of Judah, and make them one stick, and they shall be one in mine hand.

Now here is another of the same nature:

Zec 10:6 And I will strengthen the house of Judah, and I will save the house of Joseph, and I will bring them again to place them; for I have mercy upon them: and they shall be as though I had not cast them off: for I [am] the LORD their God, and will hear them.

And though there may be dark days in the interim before we walk this verse in actuality--(for has the house of Judah known itself to be cast off yet? I think rather that those who call themselves the brothers and sons of Jesus of Nazareth are unwittingly prideful of a union long since grown luke-warm. And what of the house of Joseph? Do they have a clue who they are in this day? Are you, O Joseph, not like the news story of this very day, in which a record album was purchased for $0.75 at a flea market and sold again for $155,000 on Ebay. Joseph in your coat of many colors, have you been out of place so long you have forgotten who you are? It is time to remember, it is time to to see your colors, shown so well here...see who you are and where you belong as these are yours, gifts from your God...)

--so despite all that must be shaken by your approach: Come, O Come, Immanuel...

One More 21...its larger meaning revealed

My husband saw me in a dream, I was on an altar, and I was being ministered to by 12 men. I proceeded to surf for meanings to the Biblical meaning of the number 12; and in the course of doing so, I see that 12 connects to 21, the number we have laughingly shared as strangely pertinent between my husband and his best friend. Here is what I found on the site http://www.vic.australis.com.au/hazz/number012.html:

"The first time that the number twelve appears in the Bible (other than as part of a compound number such as nine hundred and twelve) is:
Twelve years they served Chedorlaomer, and in the thirteenth year they rebelled.
Genesis 14:4
Here it for twelve years that Chedorlaomer ruled over these other kings. In scripture we find twelve associated with rule. The sun which rules the day, and the moon and stars which govern the night move through the twelve signs of the zodiac. The zodiac resides in the great circle of the heavens, which is itself 360 degrees (= 30 x 12).
The Heavenly City
The city of God in Revelation chapter 21, symbolic of the church and also called the bride of Christ.
10And he carried me away in the spirit to a great and high mountain, and shewed me that great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, 11Having the glory of God: and her light was like unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal; 12And had a wall great and high, and had twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and names written thereon, which are the names of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel: 13On the east three gates; on the north three gates; on the south three gates; and on the west three gates. 14And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and in them the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb. 15And he that talked with me had a golden reed to measure the city, and the gates thereof, and the wall thereof. 16And the city lieth foursquare, and the length is as large as the breadth: and he measured the city with the reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal. 17And he measured the wall thereof, an hundred and forty and four cubits, according to the measure of a man, that is, of the angel. 18And the building of the wall of it was of jasper: and the city was pure gold, like unto clear glass. 19And the foundations of the wall of the city were garnished with all manner of precious stones. The first foundation was jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, a chalcedony; the fourth, an emerald; 20The fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh, chrysolite; the eighth, beryl; the ninth, a topaz; the tenth, a chrysoprasus; the eleventh, a jacinth; the twelfth, an amethyst. 21And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass.
Revelation 21:10-21

The city has twelve gates with the names of the twelve tribes on them. Twelve angels stand at the gates, the walls have twelve foundations garnished with twelve precious stones, and in them the names of the twelve apostles. The city is twelve thousand furlongs square, and the twelve gates are twelve pearls. The number twelve is used here symbolically of God's perfect government. Twelve is here nine times and the walls are 144 cubits = 12 x 12. If we accept the 144 being a reference to 12 then we have ten such in this passage. But also not that the length bredth and heigh are all equal, all twelve thousand furlongs. If we count this as three measures of twelve rather than just one, than there are twelve, twelves in this passage of twelve verses.
Perfect numbers
Twelve is one of the perfect numbers, three is divine perfection, seven is spiritual perfection, ten is ordinal perfection and twelve is governmental perfection."

12: the measure of the City of God
21: the place where Saint John recorded his vision of that city.
Again, so much fascinating stuff to be discovered, and the farther we get into it, the more I go back to what I have said before: you two men are only now beginning to learn how important you are in the larger story that many people never even realize is being told.

Scott and John...just who are you guys? (smile)

Prayer and Prophetic Dreaming, the Spyglass

Dreams lead to prayer, prayer leads to understanding...
I just decide that I'm at the end of being amazed, and then BAM here I am again. I am amazed as I see this divine interaction business making itself apparent in a group of people, and not just for one individual, or even just for one family or a close friend in a personal setting, as has become familiar. Now it broadens (as I implied in the first blog under this title-stream) to involve more people and a setting more public...

In sharing with others at school about the dreams I had I realized my 11-year-old son also had a "crisis" dream for the school where I work. He had his dream last spring; and I hadn't thought of it lately, nor realized how similar was the imagery in it to that in my own crisis dream until something prompted me to look back at the description I wrote down at the time he had his. Most simliar was the imagery regarding broken hands--breaking a hand short-circuited this "bad" electricity he saw arcing from one person to another and spreading like an infection. Also, "mindlessness" appeared in both our dreams, although in his the image was not that a fall destroyed both the hand and the brain of someone (as happened in my crisis-dream) but rather this same strange, bad electric power destroyed it by basically making it inactive, a robot-mind as he put it. This was the infection. A man was spreading it quickly, but a woman was the primary source of the trouble. She accomplished her purposes by showing a movie on a big screen. This was my son's dream.

Then I learned that my principal at school also had a dream that he and the superintendent went to a sporting goods store where the super. bought a powerful automatic weapon, a rifle; while he bought himself a survival knife with a compass in the handle. I have been prayer partners for a good year now with this superintendent's wife, so I shared all this with her: it looks like we're getting multiple witness here forewarning us that battle is ahead of us, some crisis that God is positioning people to handle by His design and to His ends.

(stream of consciousness interlude here) Two things are in the gray zone of my curiosity right now regarding all this as I document it...computers and sports.

I saw something that connected the mountain in my dream with the idea of computers. I think of what I saw: this mountain in the middle of a lake in the middle of Alaska; and I consider how Alaska has Mt. McKinley centered, rising to be the highest point of earthly elevation on this continent. But in my dream, this mountain was surrounded by a lake, and this lake already is connected with a certain man, a man who in actual life teaches the advanced computer class. So I wonder even more about his role in all this given through the image of water, besides the obvious water imagery that is = refreshment, serving as a Christ image, etc. Now I wonder will he more specifically, serve as containment for some problem, functioning like a moat? Will this mountain bring some peace rising up from within him? I think of the Psalm that says, "Your righteousness, O God, is very high, You who have done great things; O God, who is like You?"

The other thing in the gray zone: all three dreams featured sports. Mine involved a kid having an accident while X-treme skateboarding. The principal's had them shopping for their weapons in a sporting goods store, and my son's had the school's athletic director as a "lead player." What are You saying about sports? Are they merely there to represent the idea of a contest being won or lost as an instructional example for a larger contest on a larger plane; or again, is the image less general and more specific? The answer: probably both.

(End of the aside, back to the chronological.) After hearing about the dream involving her husband in particular, this superintendent's wife promptly began to pray specifically for him and generally for the whole situation. The next day I had a memory pop that brought some clarity to the imagery of my principal's dream. It happened when I randomly read a magazine article about nursing home abuses, specifically one case where an ignored impacted bowel problem caused excruciatingly painful death to a man, but it was hidden by the nursing home. Only by luck--or divine intervention--did the surviving family members learn that the death that had been presented to them as "perfunctory" was anything but, and their efforts brought on the investigation that uncovered the truth and later brought them the benefits of a multi-million dollar out of court settlement. Life for the elderly person would have been besst, but at least some semblance of justice was served. The thought that came to my mind was...my mom was an RN who onve had a state job in which she did that very type of work.

They gave her the job title: trouble shooter.

Then suddenly my heart skipped a beat, because the dream snapped into focus. Now my principal is not one to experience dreams that have larger meaning, so I told him that whenever I have them, it seems that God is incredibly efficient with the imagery. Every image means something...God uses what seems to be randomness most effectively. I think the dream had the super. buying a gun because he will indeed serve as a trouble shooter in this crisis setting, unearthing some hidden problem and bringing it to accountability maybe? Meanwhile, the high school principal with his knife will serve more in the capacity of a trailblazer, leading and guiding a band of others through what feels like virgin territory.

I told them, also, that I thought that my dream seeming to take place on clock dial made me think that maybe I was receiving information about timing, with each hour on the dial being like a month: 12 hours matching 12 months...so with the "event" occurring at 4 pm when we (Scott and I) left on our trek from the 12 o'clock position made me wonder if it was to happen in April, or else about 1/3 of the way through the year, or maybe 2/3 of the way through my own tenure at the school, since it was at 4 pm and I'm in my second year, or my second time around the clock..but I was just thinking these things out loud with my prayer circle there at school as I don't feel that lock of certainty about this timing thing like I did about the revelation regarding the roles of these leaders.

But this weekend, again in that God using randomness to great effect vein, I did get a certainty-lock regarding the idea of timing, and maybe ragarding people--heaven help them. It happened like this:

We took time out from all the unpacking to watch family movies both Friday night and Saturday night. Friday night we watched The Little Mermaid. Saturday it was Pirates of the Caribbean 2. Both these movies had the following scene happen.

Someone holds a spyglass and the audience sees distant activity through that spyglass...in the one you see a distant Ariel waving, in the other, you see Davy Jones on a far ship. In both cases, when the spy glass comes down, the person/activity that looked distant is very close. It was a comic moment in Mermaid, for the creature holding the glass held it backward in ignorance; it was a startling moment in Pirates, for Davy Jones noticed he was being watched and supernaturally went from his place standing on his own ship to a place standing dead in front of the one with the spyglass.

The message: in some way or another, it is all a lot closer than it appears, and whether it is viewed with fear or as comic relief really anchors itself (my own nod to metaphoric efficiency, haha) on the depth of a person's faith.